To worry about content of 7yo DD's poem

[inmysparetime]

DD wrote a poem at school.
"this is me this is my life singing and dancing all the time
If I could be a better girl it would be so great
If only I could change my looks I would be so happy
I look so silly I just want to change my looks
All my friends look really pretty but no not me"

She says it's pretend and she doesn't feel that way really, but should I bring this up with the school? It makes me feel really bad for her that these sentences were even in her head. She has never expressed these sentiments in conversation. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

What is your instinct about this? If it's uncharacteristic behaviour from a generally happy, confident and not overly self-conscious 7y.o., then the chances are that it doesn't reflect poor self-esteem but is picked up from other songs.

When she said she didn't feel this way, if that was the real, happy her talking, then best not to worry, otherwise, watch a bit.

I think Mumbling makes a good point, though.

If you think your DD may have issues with self-esteem, why leave it to her school to address them?

I wouldn't panic about it, quite common for girls to go through phases of feeling like this surely? I certainly did. Obviously keep an eye out for signs of self-esteem problems or obsession with looks, but don't over-react to one poem.

It's not even necessarily how she personally feels anyway, it might just be a poem about a girl who does feel like that!

thanks everyone fro your comments. She is normally very happy and I haven't noticed any recent change in that. It's odd that she suddenly wants to cut her hair too though. There have been some issues in her class with a group of girls bullying others, but DD has not been involved in any of that. I'm probably hopefully worrying over nothing.

As has already been said - from a 7 year old, yes I would take it seriously.

Is there one particular friend who is very image conscious? And does she have short hair, which your DD wants to copy? She may also be overhearing some bullying that is focussing on how people look, which will affect they way she thinks, even if she's not the target.

It's sad that this sort of stuff starts so young. But I'm sure that building up her sense of what's important (i.e. not how you look) is the way to go - while also, possibly, making sure that the way she looks doesn't make her stand out and become the target of image-based bullying.

(Memories of the brown corderoy dungarees my mum let me wear to school still haunt me. There's a balance to be struck between avoiding being a slave to fashion and looking basically normal!)

Her best friend is growing her hair, some of the bully group have short bobbed hair. I wouldn't be too surprised to find The main bully's hangers-on have image issues though. I don't let her commit serious fashion crime, she doesn't have cutting edge stuff, but has good quality mid-range things for school.

I'd relax, to be honest. Children's media and literature is full of characters, particularly female, who talk like this. If you've not noticed any other unhappy behaviour, I suspect she's just channeling some of these ideas to make sense of them.

I wasn't even aware of the "Girls have such problems with body image these days" until the concept was introduced to me in kids programs and mags. I'd never felt low self esteem about my body before, but these 'helpful' things made me feel as though I somehow 'ought' to.

Of course, keep an eye on your little girl as always.