to want to speak to DS's teacher about this - or am I being pfb

[WinlessChunder]

My DS1 started in Reception last week. Although he has small bursts of
boisterousness, he is a gentle, mild-mannered soul. He is only one of 3 children new to the school in his class as all the others went to the school nursery.

One of the other mothers warned me about a particularly troublesome boy in DS's class who can be violent and destructive. From the snippets of info DS has told me, it sounds like he has been targeted by this boy who has pinned him up against the fence and punched and kicked him. The thing is, DS didn't seem bothered by it and says he fought back and enjoyed it and that this boy is now his friend.

Should I think that boys will be boys and now he's out in the big wide world he should learn to take care of himself? Or should I ask his teacher to keep an eye out to try and nip this in the bud? DS is quite tall and strong and I'm more concerned that he could hurt someone and/or get a reputation even though he's never been the fighting type up until now.

?

Talk to the teacher. Just flag up what you think is happening. Teacher can then keep an eye on things. Children can sometimes claim aggressors as 'friends' as a way of minimising trouble for themselves - DS had something similar happen to him in reception.

It sounds like your boy has dealt with the situation and shown this kid he is not to be bullied. Just keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't become a problem (or that you son turns into the class bully's sidekick...).

Thats tough. :)

Leave it this time and keep an eye.

I have always told my boys to walk away and tell a teacher.As the term goes on, a good teacher will be able to tell what boys she needs to watch anyway!

nightlark good point ...something you should be keep in mind too.

I actually don't think you are being pfb as your attitude seems right in 'flagging it up with the teacher' and that you are equally as concerned that your son doesn't then pick up habits or become rough himself. You're not making a complaint or pointing fingers and maybe the teacher is on top of it but I don't think it would harm things.

I would wait it out and see if anything else transpires. Keep casually asking your son about him to keep in the picture. If you hear anything else that worries you, then talk to his teacher.

punching and kicking is not allowed in many playgrounds, even if done in mutually agreed play, because there is too much scope for it to go too far, or for it to conceal bullying. It's good that your DS was not bothered by it, but many other children may be

I would mention it to the school

I wouldn't worry about it at this stage. One thing I would keep in mind is that a boy of this age talking about punching and kicking may in fact be describing fairly mild behaviour rather than what punching and kicking would conjure up for most of us.

It almost sounds as if your DS and the other boy were play fighting which is very common amongst boys. Particularly as your son said he enjoyed it. Many schools don't allow it though as it can also be used as a cover for bullying.

I would just keep an eye out at this stage.

Yes, also reminding him that is not ok to behave like that will really help too.

You would be surprised how many parents don't enforce that ...it makes being the Mum of boys pretty hard sometimes :)

YANBU. The teacher can't do anything about it unless you tell them. Needs sorting out ASAP so it doesn't escalate.

I agree Feminine.