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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Facebook Breast Awareness 'game'

50 replies

eaglewings · 14/09/2011 07:53

Have posted this in pregnancy loss and many of the replies urged me to post this here
It's about the game that gets women to post as their status
'I'm 16 weeks and craving jelly tots, or similar depending on their birth month and day'
AIBU to ask you to think twice before playing this?
Those who have just had a miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage or are struggling with infertility are finding these posts hard to see.
My dh is finding this hard too as we are coping with our 4th miscarriage in a year, so it's not just women
So am I being a PWBM ( Precious Wana Be Mum ) or is this a joke gone too far, in fact is it even from BreastvAwareness or is it just made up by a person wanting a laugh?

OP posts:

fanjobanjowanjo · 14/09/2011 09:39

I got sent it and refused to get involved - I'd already been caught out congratulating someone who wasn't pregnant. It's a load of absolute rubbish, insensitive and stupid.

bagelmonkey · 14/09/2011 09:43

I'm so sorry about your miscarriages.
I had seen the FB thing and thought it was in poor taste without even considering how it must be for people trying to cope with miscarriages. I don't think pregnancy should be treated as a joke.
YANBU.
Whether it raises awareness or not seems of lesser importance really, but I don't really think this one does this time. People are tired of the concept and the in-joke.

porcamiseria · 14/09/2011 09:52

I am sorry for your loss, but I dont think that stopping FB pegnancy statuses will help

eveything could offend someone if you see what I mean

but I am sorry this upsets you X

farfallarocks · 14/09/2011 09:59

But its not genuine pregnancy statuses

And given that CANCER TREATMENT CAN LEAVE YOU INFERTILE its just sick.

slavetofilofax · 14/09/2011 10:04

Everything could cause offense, but this is fake pregnancy, for a joke, in the name of a terrible disease.

It helps no one and upsets many. That's the problem.

kat2504 · 14/09/2011 10:06

Real pregnancy statuses - I send my congratulations to the happy couple. At times it has upset me because it has reminded me of my losses, but I don't mind them sharing their happy news at all. Same with the birth of babies, I don't mind that, and I send a message of congratulations and say how happy I (genuinely) am for them.

This is totally different though. Imagine if you had treatment for breast cancer and couldn't get pregnant. And this bollocks claims to be raising awareness. It would be an even bigger kick in the teeth to you. The people that started this need their own awareness raising - such as being aware that cancer is not a fucking joke.

MmeLindor. · 14/09/2011 10:07

I haven't seen it on FB (yet) so either it has not reached my friends, or they are too sensible to post it.

YANBU.

If it were at least for a proper cause, but it is just nonsense.

farfallarocks · 14/09/2011 10:23

kat2504 exactly (applauds)

CharCharGabor · 14/09/2011 10:36

So sorry for your miscarriages :(

I hate these things because I really don't see how they raise awareness of breast cancer. A link to how to do a breast self-exam would be much better but this is just pointless. I posted the breastfeeding status a few days ago, that at least gives people some information!

Pelagia · 14/09/2011 10:47

YANBU and I am sorry for your loss. I think its a stupid 'game' and offensive for lots of reasons. Years ago I lost my mum to cancer, the doctors couldn't save her but if only facebook had been around to save her with these sorts of outstanding ideas

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 14/09/2011 11:01

I've been caught out by this (as I've just realised ) It certainly hasn't raised my awareness as without the explanation on MN I would still be none the wiser.

YANBU I am sorry for your loss.

cakesloveme · 14/09/2011 11:16

YANBU!

Sick game, insensitive to those who are dealing with very sad situations....especially when the instructions fall into your FB inbox days after tube removal due to ectopic pregnancy (by someone who KNEW the situation)(I'm a bit bitter about this).

Very much agree, it is not raising any kind of awareness or benefiting a charity.

It is safe to say I will not be playing this game.

So sorry for anyone who has lost pregnancies :(

megapixels · 14/09/2011 11:50

YADNBU. A friend who had decided years ago not to have any more children because she was afraid of getting another of the same sex (issues) had posted this. Cue loads of people congratulating her for taking the plunge and saying they'll pray everything goes well for her etc. In the middle of it a couple of people were making sort of comments. I hate that something which should be good news is being used to make people feel disappointed and stupid. Something struck me about the status because I'd seen another friend post a similar one and I googled it. That when I realised the two pregnancies were fake. Did nothing, absolutely nothing, to raise any awareness of anything.

Might get flamed for saying this but it's a certain type who are posting this. The not very bright type

Ariesgirl · 14/09/2011 11:53

I am struggling to conceive baby number one, so I find these updates irritating, but not nearly as irritating as the fact that they are puerile, demeaning and nonsensical, and do nothing whatsoever to "raise awareness" of breast cancer

QueenStromba · 14/09/2011 12:57

These things are just a ploy to find out people's date of birth which is a common security question. Also beware of things like "what's your stripper name?" which ask for the name of your first pet, mother's maiden name, name of the street you grew up on, first school etc - these are all answers to common security questions that banks etc use.

Original poster

eaglewings · 14/09/2011 16:53

www.feelyourboobies.com/how2.htm

Here is a link to go to if you want to share on Facebook something that might just get people checking

Glad I'm not abnormal, thank you for all your replies

OP posts:

eurochick · 14/09/2011 17:02

It's a c0cking stupid idea. A lot of long term ttcers over on conception have commented on finding them hurtful when they have been taken in by them (frankly it is bad enough when everyone around you actually is getting pregnant but at least you can be happy for them then). I don't see how it raises awareness.

And it has led to quite a lot of confusion with people congratulating the poster who then has to come clean, etc. I saw one person on facebook think she was finding out that her mum was pregnant that way...

As I say, C0cking stupid.

Insomnia11 · 14/09/2011 17:08

I have been invited to participate but didn't do it as I wouldn't actually want to mislead people into thinking I was pregnant. I couldn't bear to get all the "Congratulations!" messages then have to tell people I was messing about.

The other ones "I like it in the hall" etc have been vaguely amusing but I just don't think it's funny to "cry wolf" about pregnancy, nothing to do with whether someone has had a miscarriage and may read it. It's just too important an event to mess about with.

Insomnia11 · 14/09/2011 17:14

"isn`t going to fake a pregnancy, post my bra color, my shoe size, or where I keep my purse, in a vague and ineffective attempt to raise breast cancer awareness. What I WILL do is say that women who breastfeed greatly reduce the risk of breast cancer for themselves AND their child, and if anyone needs some support, help, and love in that area, you can always talk to me. Now THAT is what I call a helpful status about boobs!"

I wouldn't post that either as I think it sounds terribly smug.

HeidiKat · 14/09/2011 21:15

I agree with this, it's one thing to make a joke involving your shoe size or something stupid like that, but pretending to be pregnant is just plain stupid. I got the email from a facebook friend inviting me to take part in this and could see straight away that it was a dumb idea, I have better things to do with my time than field phone calls/texts/emails from people who are congratulating me on a non existent pregnancy and in no way does it benefit sufferers of breast cancer.

Onemorning · 14/09/2011 21:38

I totally hate these statuses, so YANBU. These stupid statuses do nothing to help people with breast cancer.

And why is it always breast cancer? Why not ovarian cancer (silent killer), bowel cancer, heart disease.... Gah. 'Women - look after your tatas'

kat2504 · 15/09/2011 09:51

Cos breasts are much sexier and you can have a joke about boobies

Nobody ever had much of a joke about bowels. That is why so many people die of bowel cancer every year.

Onemorning · 15/09/2011 19:44

It makes me really angry that women are pretty much exhorted to look after their tits (lovely to look at, bouncy, sexual) and noone talks about female heart disease...

And prostate cancer kills as many men as breast cancer kills women and men, but noone ever got their prostrate out on page 3...

FlamingFannyDrawers · 15/09/2011 20:22

I had no idea what the status was about. I genuinly thought a friend of mine was pregnant, I mentioned it to my DH and he congratulated my friends husband who had no idea what the hell was going on. I met my friend the other day after i had been told the purpose of the status and she said she felt terrible about it all. She has a daughter after suffering 2 miscarriages and would love more kids but it doesn't look likely. I felt really awkward about the whole thing.

fluffywhitekittens · 15/09/2011 21:33

Yanbu, I had someone suggest I do this and there was no mention whatsoever of any links to breast cancer awareness.
It also makes me cringe when people put it as their status and other unsuspecting people offer congratulations.

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