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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Due in November and Considering Home Birth.

51 replies

MagGirl · 12/09/2011 17:18

I live in Battersea and had planned to have my first baby at Chelsea & Westminster but am now considering a water birth at home.. Anyone else thinking about it/have experiences they'd like to share? Am completely ready to be taken to hospital if needs be but at the moment home feels like the right place to be.

OP posts:

WoofToYouTooLady · 12/09/2011 17:20

what is the AIBU ?

Proudnscary · 12/09/2011 17:21

Is it your first baby?

I wouldn't but then again I was of the 'epidural/pethidine/as unnatural as possible please just get it out without killing me brigade'.

Such a personal choice - yes def talk to other mums who've had home births in REAL LIFE not just on here.

Original poster

MagGirl · 12/09/2011 17:30

Sorry, wrong have posted in wrong section! Thanks Proudnscary.. Yes have spoken to a few people, watched some dvds etc... Am pretty sure it feels like the way to go for me - just thought I'd see if there was anyone on here who felt the same - or not!

OP posts:

Themumsnot · 12/09/2011 17:39

I had two homebirths in south-west London, attended by the local community midwives. They were fabulous and I had a really great experience both times. My first child was born in St George's Tooting, a very unpleasant experience with a whole load of what I think in hindsight was totally unnecessary intervention.
Talk to your community midwives and see what they say, mine were really positive and supportive.

PuspornInBoots · 12/09/2011 17:42

I thought about it, but when I thought about the "icky details" and the fact that, if I gave birth at home it would be ME cleaning up afterwards, I changed my mind. If you can afford to hire someone to deep clean, or replace all the stuff that gets messed up, then it wouldn't matter, but otherwise, will you be up to what could be a major clean up soon after giving birth? (Bear in mind there will be any or all of blood, poo, wee, amniotic fluid, bits of placenta, snot, and assorted other unidentifiable gooey dollops.... and all of them would be in your room!) Even with a pool, how d you empty the damn thing? Can you just syphon it straight down the drain or loo, or would it be a bucket by bucket job, and who carries the buckets, bearing in mind the state the water will be in?

CrystalQueen · 12/09/2011 17:47

Check out this website, there is also a Yahoo group

www.homebirth.org.uk/

Homebirth is a perfectly valid option, my advice would be to ignore all doom-mongers and do your own research into the pros and cons. I can't comment on the mess aspect firsthand since I ended up transferring to hospital but everything I have ever read about homebirths says that there isn't much!

PuspornInBoots · 12/09/2011 17:48

There can't be less at home than there is in hospital though can there? (Maybe I just give messy birth! worries that is still referred to as "that woman with the mess" at our local hospital and hangs head in shame )

psiloveyou · 12/09/2011 17:49

I had my first in hospital and it was the most awful experience I have ever had.
I insisted my second was a HB and it was fabulous. On the day my own midwife attended with a second trained midwife. They asked if I minded them bringing a trainee to experience her first HB. So I had three professionals with me from start to finish. After the birth my midwife disappeared to return wearing a hat with corks dangling from it and a toy kangeroo in her pocket. This was because whenever she and dh had listened to the heartbeat they always joked it sounded like Rolf Harris playing that bendy board thing he has. It was so calm and personal to us.
If you are healthy and have had a good pregnancy I would definately recommend a HB.

NacMacFeegle · 12/09/2011 17:52

I have had two home births, and didn't do a hand's turn of clearing up! The MW brought those disposable mat thingies, and lots of yellow waste bags. Couple of my own (old) towels went straight in the washing machine (also done by MW!). That was it! By the time I was out of the shower, the room was spotless.

psiloveyou · 12/09/2011 17:53

We just covered the bed in those plastic DIY sheets and an old cotton sheet. After the birth dh just scooped the lot up binned it and remade the bed. There really was no mess or fuss. I was up and sitting in my living room with a cuppa an hour after the birth.

Oggy · 12/09/2011 17:53

I had a home waterbirth for my second and it was bliss! I think the key to the homebirth is how much more relaxed you are in your own home than in sterile hospital environment, therefore if you genuinely really want a homebirth then you already have a head start.

If however you actually harbour some string doubts then I don't think you will really be fully relaxed and you won't get the most of your homebirth experience.

So I guess you need to make sure it is what you really want. Is this your first?

fatlazymummy · 12/09/2011 17:54

I had my 3rd birth at home. I didn't have a water birth though, the baby was born in my bed. It was fine, there actually was very little mess to clear up. It all went onto the plastic sheet on the bed.
The only reservation I would have [if I was you] is the fact that it is your 1st birth and it is very much an unknown quantity.

psiloveyou · 12/09/2011 17:56

The only downside was DD (11 at the time) coming up the stairs to find the midwives examining the placenta in the bathroom. 12 years on she still claims to be traumatised by the sight of it .

Matronalia · 12/09/2011 18:16

Why don't you book a homebirth with the knowledge that you can go into hospital at any point you feel you need too? Its much harder to ask for a homebirth when you are in labour (although you can), but if you are already booked onto the system its easier for everyone. That way you keep both options open and you can see how you feel.

For what its worth I loved giving birth at home, it was an amazing experience. I felt much more in control and had a really wonderful relaxed. The midwives came with big plastic sacks and asked me what bits and pieces I wanted to keep (I got a whole load of old sheets and shower curtains to cover things with). The bits I didn't want went in the bags and they took them away and the bits I did they put in the washing machine for me and started it going. We had a rented house with white carpets and there wasnt a single drop of anything anywhere other than on the sheets.

My friend had a pool and they got one with a pump which just pumped it down a hose into an outside drain. Another friend's DH did it with buckets, didn't take long I think- ten minutes?

Matronalia · 12/09/2011 18:17

really wonderful relaxed birth

NorksAkimbo · 12/09/2011 18:24

I had my second at home in a birthing pool, and would do it again in a minute. I also didn't clear anything up; MWs took care of most of it, and DH emptied the pool. Absolutely fantastic experience. Also, I found the book 'Birthing from Within' really helpful; I wish someone had given it to me before my first baby! Good luck, and congratulations no matter what you decide! :)

slightlymad72 · 12/09/2011 18:33

DD1 was born in hospital, not an unpleasant experience, but I was high as a kite at the time , my mother (a midwife) did mention it could have been better, but staffing levels where bad that night.

DS1 and DS2 where both home deliveries and it was a far more relaxed atmostphere, DD was there at both deliveries, she even helped her dad cut the cord for DS1, DS2 was a little different as he was born unresponsive, the midwifes where very professional and my son could not have been in better hands (he's fine).

As long as there are no difficulties with your pregnancy then there should be not reason for you not to have a home birth, discuss it with your midwife.

No cleaning for me either, my mother visited just after both deliveries and bossed DH around.

Flisspaps · 12/09/2011 18:33

fatlazymummy no two births are the same - so it should make no difference whether someone is a first or fifth time mum as to whether the birth is an 'unknown quantity' - the pain that you experience (or issues that do/don't arise) with one birth won't necessarily indicate the pain you'd feel (or any issues that may arise) with a subsequent birth :)

OP (and others!), remember that this isn't a trial run for a later birth, so do what you want this time around, rather than thinking "ooh, I'll see how this one goes and then perhaps have a homebirth for the next one if it's not too bad" as you might decide that one is enough .

fatlazymummy · 12/09/2011 18:49

I know that. I wasn't thinking of pain as it happens. However 1st time births are considered higher risk. My midwife did consider my previous history when advising me re homebirth. Medical history is a factor.

octopusinabox · 12/09/2011 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BusyCee · 23/07/2013 06:18

I had two lovely home births, first and second babes, and I can't recommend it highly enough. So relaxed and calm. It really helped that we has amazing midwives who we'd seen throughout - so they knew us well, but also I knew and trusted them. We also did lots of pre-birth prep, hypnobirthing, so had lots of breathing and visualisation to use in labour. Also I wasn't scared, which I think really helped.

Practical hints? I didn't want to have either in bed. We put a cheap shower curtain on the floor (waterproof), followed by cardboard boxes (absorbent) then a bed sheet (soft). After delivery the midwives actually took me to shower and helped hose me down, by the time was out they're folded everything up and subsequently took it away with them ( so the bin Men didn't even have to deal with it. OH jokes it just looked like we'd had a party (first labour was long and evidently midwives eat and drink a lot...), absolutely not spot of bodily fluid to be seen.

Sorry for long post - but personally (and obvs it is all personal) I bloomin' loved my home births and would do anything to avoid a hospital birth (in fearful of smart arse young obstetricians and intervention)

traintracks · 23/07/2013 06:24

If it all works then great but be aware that if you have a sudden complication like abruption, cord prolapse, shoulder dystocia (to name but a few) the time taken to get to hospital is likely to make all the difference between a healthy and a brain damaged baby. Ambulances don't arrive as quickly as you'd think. What is more important, the experience or having a healthy baby at the end?

Have you considered a MW led unit within a hospital, would give you much of the homely feel and low tech stuff but close to help if needed. Then if you have a normal delivery you could consider home birth next time. It's a big risk for a first delivery.

TimeofChange · 23/07/2013 06:39

I know someone who had a home birth last year that went very wrong.
She had done hypno birthing, NCT and was so confident, but baby got stuck.
By the time they got her to hospital the baby had been oxygen starved and now has severe difficulties.

It must be lovely if it goes well and tragic if not.

30 years ago I was an 'earth mother' and wanted a home birth.
My GP point blank refused.
I found out later that she had attended a HB the previous year that had gone wrong and the baby was still born.

SanityClause · 23/07/2013 06:42

We put a load of plastic sheets down, the type you use for decorating. So, there wasn't a lot of mess to clear up. I certainly did none of it myself - DH and the midwives cleared everything up.

I hated the first birth - I was induced in hospital, and had horrible midwives. So, I decided to go for home births after that. I tried a pool second time around, but TBH, I didn't find it all that comfy, and the water was never quite warm enough. In the end, I was taken to hospital to labour, as there was meconium in the waters. (All the midwives were lovely that time.)

Third time lucky, though. I didn't bother with a birthing pool, but got in the bath whenever I wanted to. I had the DS standing up holding on to the basin in the bathroom.

It was a lovely experience, and as you are close to a hospital in case of any emergency, I would say go for it!

HenWithAttitude · 23/07/2013 06:49

Home birthed here. Zero mess to clear up. Large plastic sheet over the bed and plenty of absorbent mats (inco sheets) from midwife and they bagged and took it away.

You will always here stories of home births resulting in tragedy in the same way that you will also sadly hear stories of tragedies in hospitals.

I had a birth in a hospital and frankly the overworked midwife covering too many patients wouldn't have noticed if my baby was in distress as she was neither present nor believed I was in labour until she was born.

Ask your midwives what their transfer to hospital rate is, how they manage risk and what transfer times are. Generally you get one to one care and it's a wonderful experience

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