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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop DH from watching TV in the bedroom?

48 replies

CoffeeDog · 12/09/2011 15:42

I HATE Tv in the bedroom at night.... ~DH usally watches it untill he fall's asleep-wakes up to turn it off etc.

We have just given up our huge bedroom so our DD wont have to share with her brothers and are now camped out in the study... double bed just fits'... you cant even walk around it ;)

DH slaps the computer at the end of the bed on a table and has been watching films on it EVERY night for the last week despite me complaining about the noisy fan of the PC the fact its a teeny room etc.. he will often watch untill 2am - alarm goes at 645.

I am shattered and have said i want pc out of 'bedroom' and if he want to watch Tv there is a perfectly good tv in the livingroom...

His job is not particulary busy atm and he often sits watching film/scanning interweb drinking coffee at work waiting for somthing to happen whereas i get to feed dress 3 kids drag them to all to school drop one off then entertain 2 livley 2yr olds till 3 pick up dd make a propper dinner and 'play' till he gets in at 630pm

AIBU just to unplug the thing? and leave it in pieces on the table (still get internet on phone - mind you will have to also 'hide his phone in case he has the same idea i guess)

We only ever fight about this issue and he just dosnt get i have a problem with it - i just dont sleep well when there is a telly on... he should KNOW this weve been together over 10 years!!!

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 12/09/2011 16:26

YANBU. DH and I both watch lots of films in bed but if he said it bothered him, I would use the living room instead.

He has an earlier start than me and I appreciate that so try my best not to disturb him.

nocake · 12/09/2011 16:48

DW needs more sleep than me at the moment so she goes to bed earlier and/or wakes later. I wouldn't dream of disturbing her as that would be very inconsiderate.

I would definately ban TV and the laptop from the bedroom but can I ask why him watching something on his phone after you're asleep is a problem?

exoticfruits · 12/09/2011 16:56

YANBU. I won't have TVs in DCs rooms and it follows that I don't either. I would hate it. Just move all TVs out of all bedrooms-problem sorted!

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 12/09/2011 16:58

Jeez, I feel guilty if I'm still reading when DP has switched his light off and is trying to get to sleep ? I'd never watch telly if he'd put his head down.

No, YANBU. How about the next time he watches TV until 2a.m. you boot him out of bed with the alarm and make him do the morning routine instead?

schroeder · 12/09/2011 17:07

YANBU Watching telly in bed! Shock

If he wants to watch stuff until he falls asleep he has to sleep on the sofa.

izzybiz · 12/09/2011 17:17

My Dh likes to watch TV till late, so he stays downstairs and watches in the lounge.
When I go up to bed I want to read for 1/2 an hour then sleep!

YADNBU!

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/09/2011 18:25

So, that's the compromise. He gets to watch TV if the next morning you get to lie in. No lie in, no TV.

Smellslikecatpee · 12/09/2011 18:53

Slightly torn, as I am an in bed TV watcher, until I read that the study is just off the living room so he is really UR.

Smellslikecatpee · 12/09/2011 18:55

Posted too soon, if OH has an early morning and I want to read watch TV, I do so downstairs, just good manners really

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban · 12/09/2011 19:09

Why don't sound proof the study (doesn't cost that much) and put dd in their and you have your room back

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban · 12/09/2011 19:10

Or get him a iPad which doesn't make any noise and you can turn down the light on it so it's dim

Ragwort · 12/09/2011 19:18

Is the study just off the living room - so why can't he just stay in the living room watching his programmes whilst you are in bed .... has he got a logical explanation for not doing that?

Otherwise why don't you make up a temporary bed in the living room and sleep there yourself - I know it will look naff but it might make him think?

Or could you put a single bed in with your DD for yourself?

Appreciate none of these should be necessary - but it sounds like he has been used to having the tv in the bedroom for 10 years

margerykemp · 12/09/2011 20:36

Imo he should get the kids up and dressed before he leaves, then you could at least sleep till 7.20 every day.
Can you wear earplugs/ him use headphones?

cricketballs · 12/09/2011 21:17

your dh might be like me! I can not fall asleep without the background noise of the TV. It drives my dh up the wall, but after 18 years he has got used to it! The way we have managed, as my dh is a light sleeper who, like you, needs more sleep than I do is to purchase a TV for the bedroom with the sleep function. Therefore I set it for 45 mins and it turns itself off after I have fallen asleep. (I also have the subtitles on, so if I am still awake enough to watch, I can have it turned down but still follow the programme)

redexpat · 12/09/2011 23:30

YANBU to hate the laptop. They are noisy and blow lots of computer air which really heats up the room and it DOES disturb the person trying to sleep.

Practical solutions for inside the bedroom:

Does he HAVE to watch tv? Would music/audiobooks do the trick? You can get pillows that plug into your mp3 player. Try www.iwantoneofthose.com.

Alternatively, if he must see something could you invest in a tv with a sleep function? You set them for 15 minutes or whatever and they turn off automatically after that time.

Otherwise anohter media player of sorts - ipad maybe?

munkysea · 13/09/2011 01:17

God no! Terribly selfish behaviour on his part. If there's no physical reason why he can't get up and watch TV elsewhere, then he should watch it elsewhere and let you sleep.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/09/2011 03:29

BTW, can everyone remember this when people post threads about their children having TVs in their rooms and it not being an issue. All these people who need TV to sleep. How Sad Maybe if their parents hadn't thought TVs in bedrooms were normal, they would have learnt to just go to sleep.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2011 07:02

Of course it is an issue. There is no way my DCs would have a TV in the bedroom and the same goes for us. Whatever is wrong with books?

PontyMython · 13/09/2011 07:07

What a knob. YANBU, kick him out onto the sofa and tell him not to disturb you. Looking after 3 DCs sounds like much harder work than his job, so you really need more sleep.

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 13/09/2011 07:21

I had this with my dh. We compromised with radio/podcasts. I think it was the light of the tv that bothered me . I've grown to enjoy the podcasts lots - very informative.

TadlowDogIncident · 13/09/2011 07:53

I think in your shoes I'd move in with DD (pointing out to DH that basically he had a choice between TV and sex and he's chosen TV), but I agree with the posters above who say that your problems are wider than just TV in the bedroom. Presumably he knows this upsets you and is affecting your sleep, but he still chooses to do it. That would worry me.

Screens at bedtime are really bad for you. There was a long article about this in the New Scientist about a month ago.

MmeLindor. · 13/09/2011 08:00

No. No iPad. No moving in with DD. No compromises.

He is being selfish. You are not getting enough sleep. Any decent person would move through to the living room and let you sleep.

Is he selfish in other ways in your relationship? If so, you have a bigger problem than just the TV.

OriginalPoster · 13/09/2011 08:09

YANBU

Cancel the TV licence

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