my brother is 37 and mentally ill. I respect that he has an issue and I mostly stay out of escalating situations, but sometimes I can't help but think that my mum allows him to get away with murder and I get impatient, then angry and end up having a one on one confrontation. He starts throwing his weight about and Mum chips in before he may or may not do anything to me.
He always accuses my mum of things. My mum is 66 years old and needs a break. He doesn't help around the house at all, ignores me when i ask him, even if im very very polite. My and mum do all the cooking, cleaning and obviously I have a small son to look after. He won't even push in the chair at the dining table once hes finished sitting on it. Won't clear his plate, won't even move it from the table.... just gets up and goes back to his room.
On top of that he makes an astonishing mess around the house. He has no regard for other people's needs and will happily eat my sons food (he has asked him many times if he can have his food even though he has just eaten). He will if ask my mother for her food too, he doesn't do it to me because he knows what I will say. He also has no regard for other people's privacy and I have found him in my room and my mums room a number of times going through things. He listens to our conversations when we are on the phone.
Another thing that bothers me is that he is so respectful to my ex, who was violent to me but cannot demonstrate the same level to my current partner who is lovely to everyone. He ridicules me when I'm trying to teach my son things, he's called me trollop, slag and all the related terms.
The other day he brought porn into the house, which he knows we are against because my son lives here. To take the piss he has a flat of his own but refuses to live there. Instead he says I should leave. I know he is mentally ill, but I really lost my temper on him today, because I only asked him to turn down his radio. He had been shouting really badly at my mum, my son was crying and when he went back to his room he played his music really loud, all i wanted was some peace. I asked nicely and he spoke to me so badly that I just lost it, he got up in my face and yet again my mum jumped in. Im sorry this is so long, but what can i do?? I dont earn enough to move out and im studying at uni.
AIBU?
AIBU to just want to get the hell out of here?
smallmotherbigheart · 11/09/2011 22:48
LDNMummy is giving you the best advice here OP, and I second not even trying to get an even footing with your brother, because it's not going to happen. Paranoid Schizophrenics are not likeable when their in this condition and border on unstable and dangerous when they're dabbling with their meds. Your Mum is in a very very volatile situation I agree, but your very first priority is your son.
Follow the advice you've been given, and get out as soon as you can. Should your brother turn against your Mother, then he will be sectionable and placed into an environment that more suits his needs, but that CANNOT happen unless the appropriate authorities are contacted. Do it today. Your poor, poor son living in these conditions......
As adults, we are more mentally equipped to deal with these stressful situations, but I really worry for your boy. I know you do too - so take action before you and your family become an incident we read about in the press 
WhoseGotMyEyebrows don't quote me, but I'm pretty certain that this condition means that he, and others like him, have no empathy for others, or no real sense of responsibility or consequence. Plus, should he be used to having things done for him to this extent, then he's really going to stop making the effort.
A friend of mine was sectioned for PS after attacking her father with a knife. She thought he was a steam train trying to mow her down
fit2drop Why thank you! 
VelvetSnow The OP is in a stressful situation at the moment. If someone starts judging her on a part of her life which she is doing really well with IMO, and wasnt even what she was asking for comments about then she is bound to get a bit snappy.
BootyMum
Why is her family in a dangerous situation ( I said catastrophic results if not compliant with meds , I didnt say dangerous ,)
Just because the brother has PS does not make him dangerous, yes he could be , but no more than you or I given the right circumstances.
This ridiculous misconception and assumption and mostly media and ignorance led idea that ALL people that suffer with PS are mad axe men never fails to make me cross.
OP is mostly quite happy with her living arrangements , it obviously works for her and her son and her mother, who the hell is anyone on here to say she should give that up. She was not asking for advise on that.
I read it as more about HOW she could help support her mum and her brother who is becoming more and more ill as he is erratic with his meds and therefore the situation at home is spiralling. How would leaving her home help her mum or her brother.
MH services need to assess and be involved to stop a "section" as someone ^^ there said needed doing.
The bad manners , rudeness, etc sound more like behavioural tendencies they are nothing to do with PS.
OP need help from services to support her mother in how best to deal with her brother when he is showing these behaviours,
I would suggest getting him compliant with his meds is a start and if that means his CC doing her job and recognising the problem , then hopefully getting a depo med prescribed then surely that is better advise than" leave em to it and move out" which would only create more stress and just another set of problems as the mum would still be having to cope with a son she can,t manage, both are people the OP loves so she would not move out and be happy would she.
So hardly a good result 
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