to say 'no' DD you can not get your ears pierced.

[Bandwithering]

*This is more of an "Am I out of touch?".

My dd has told me that the majority of girls in her class have their ears pierced. Not true! I had a sneaky lookabout and I think five out of 14 girls have it done, and one of them would have had it done as a baby.

My dd is not yet 9. She cries when she gets ear ache, a growing pain, she yelps and cries and demands a plaster over the tiniest graze. She demands calpol at the drop of a hat.

I don't want her to go into school and SAY this, but I think it looks awful on girls under about 12.

mumsnet jury?????

It´s your decision isn´t it as you need to take her & pay, I assume?

My daughter had hers done for her 12th birthday.

She was old enough then to look after them, plus she´d waited a year to be sure.

You are the parent and you are in charge. Simply tell her it is not allowed until she is such and such an age.
There is nothing wrong with saying no.

Cereal I can't see why anyone would want holes in their ears.

That's a simple one, they want to put earrings in them.

Yes, of course Takitezee. Just my way of saying I can't identify with this at all.

IMO yabu. So long as the child is old enough to a) want them and b) understand it hurts and leaves a permanent hole I see no problem.

Well I just know that I am going to get flamed for this, but, here goes, I let my little girl have hers done in the Summer holidays when she was just 5.11 months.

She had been asking for ages (tho I am more than capable of saying no)!

I clean them for her 2/3 times a day, so we have had no problems.

I will keep her in studs for ever years tho!

You are not BU to say no. Your the parent - set an age as to what you think iis reasonable. My mum wouldn't let me have mine done till 16 as she 'didn't want to be dealing with my ears if they went manky'! By the time I was 16 I wasn't bothered any more and never did end up getting them done.

I mean you're

I'd say she is too young. 14 is okay, but 9? Nah I wouldn't.

I got my daughter done at 7. She coped fine with the actual piercing, but when it came to taking earrings in and out she hates it and it's a battle. That bad I let them close. I would tell her no and wait till she's a wee bit older

I beg to differ, zukie. I wish I'd had general anaesthestic when I had my ears pierced.

As has been suggested, OP, the beginning of the summer holidays is the optimum time for schoolchilden to have their ears pierced.

Maybe when your dd is 11 she can have them done in the long holiday before secondary school?

I just say, "you are to young" and TBH expect them to accept my decision.

IMO as they hit their teens it is ok. This is contentious and those who let younger DCs get their ears pearced may well feel judged by those who won't...so can I just say I'm not judging anyone, but I'm not happy for MY DCs to have holes punched in their bodies (which is very painful IME) until they are old enough to look after the ears themselves. Equally I'm not happy for my primary school aged DCs to pluck eyebrows, shave legs, wear high heels, wear a bit of (subtle hopefully!) makeup and etc...mostly because they are CHILDREN.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy's suggestion makes great sense to me :)

YANBU

14 is the rule in our house for my DD ( admittedly the constant asking hasn't started yet) but I had to wait until I was 15 and although I did look after them it was years until I could wear any different earrings and not get sore, red ears. Not a good look!

Bandwithering my DD is 5.7 and has constantly asked since she could talk if she can have her ears pierced to which i have replied no. This is due to many reasons from her having a hole in the heart, the aftercare needed to the fact that the school has a no jewellery policy including ears (so there really is no point), but another reason is the same as you that i don't personally agree with it on someone so young however i do find myself hypocritical when saying no as i have 10 piercings myself in the ears and my partner has piercings as well.

In order to tackle the situation i stated that she could get them done when the hole has closed up, when she is old enough to care for them herself and at the start of the school holidays to ensure maximum healing time. This appears to have worked however we are still arguing over the fact that she wants to stretch her ears to fit flesh tunnels in like her dad (and mine although i took mine out now as it hurts alot), this i have said a firm no not until she is a lot older :o

Oh my sorry for the essay :) but Bandwithering good luck with your decision as i'm sure which ever one you make will be the right one for you and your DD.

When you say "do it, don't do it" that isn't really helpful!!! I know those are the options!

Love that, OP!

Just pick an age when it will be her decision. The summer before she starts Secondary School? The first summer she is AT Secondary School? Sixteen?Pick a date and then leave the decision to her, so you are both in the driving seat.

If the school have earring rules about taking them out you're home free until the summer break whatever. If at that point she can look after them - and has evidenced that between now and then - then you could agree that she has them done end of Y6. If you're dead set against I'd select 13th birthday as the alternative.

[Thanking heavens have no DD's emoticon]

Check the rules about PE or swimming at your school, odds are high that newly pierced ears will be a hassle. Plus loads of clubs require them taken out, like gymnastics or Judo.

I strongly disagree that it looks awful" for under 12s. But it's your DD & your allowed to apply your standards as you see fit.

Y5/Y6 is the norm here. DD1 Christmas before she was 11, DD2 was 10 and a bit.