Housework and teenagers getting me down

[alemci]

I am feeling fed up today. I work part time and usually have Fridays off but it is a busy time and we spent the day at a university open day for my ED which was great but things are piling up.

None of my 3 children do a great deal around the house and obviously create mess but I feel resentful as my ED is out the whole weekend (working, parties) and she cannot understand why I get ratty and tearful about the amount that needs doing. The YD who is 16 isn't much better either.

I know I could say to hell with it and leave it but I just want my house to look reasonable. The washing alone is never ending and I would like them to do some ironing (their own).

Both my dd's are in 6th form and I want them to do well. However ED were not great and I think it is because she does too much socialising. 18th every weekend it seems. DH does help a bit but he works at the weekend and although off today is tired as he did the driving yesterday.

It is my first week back after the Summer so maybe I need to get into a routine but I am not sure how much more I can take. My son has just moaned at me because he want fajitas and I have told him to do the 'bloody' shopping if he doesn't like my food. not good. not very pleased with myself.

My mother had 3 grown-up sons living with her and she was fed-up with constant washing-up and washing their clothes (they were working and she was NOT charging them any rent but that was another story). Then she decided to cut down on her washing-up by hiding her cutlery, dishes and cups and only leaving out 3-4 of everything. As a result, instead of going to the cupboard for a clean plate they had to wash what was already used. It meant the house was tidier.

As for the washing, let them do their own bloody ironing - why should you? If you don't they'll be forced to.

I once dished mine and DH's dinner on china plates and hers on a paper plate! She knew the dihwasher was her job and it wasn't done, again, so I washed mine and DH's and left hers!

I'm not being arsey with you alemci , btw. Just encouraging you to make changes!

I don't iron for teens, nor do I pay for anyone else to iron for teens. I don't mind doing their washing (though yesterday I had to do five loads of clothes washing/drying/folding for them and just couldn't understand where it had all come from) though I really resent having to pull socks apart from underpants that are all screwed up in a big sweaty skid-marky ball and do give them a going over for that.

If they don't like the food, tough, and they are not allowed to complain.

You sound very down, OP, I hope you get things sorted.

DC would think it was fine to eat off of paper plates (sigh).

I completely know where you are coming from, OP. I have been reading all the replies and I know they make sense, but it's the bad atmosphere in the house or the not doing stuff/leaving the house like a complete tip that gets to me. I know I've just got to bite the bullet and be very tough, but I am finding that difficult.

oh i really relate to this, apparently to DS1 i am just a nag and always in a mood... WTF why wouldn't i be when I am the only one doing anything, everything I ask DS 1 to do he ignores and he never offers to do anything in the house. I am the only one who seems to know how to change a toilet roll, work the washing machine and hoover, clean a filthy loo, hang up a towel..... you know the rest. Was I born knowing this or was it part of the smallprint on the wedding certificate that I failed to notice? I am learning to close bedroom doors and not care what mess DS1 and 2 choose to live in, only wash what's in the basket, iron only school/work stuff (only to avoid early morning tantrums) cook for a set time and ignore those who choose not to be in for it
amicissima you are my hero, I am aspiring to your life and it will come (eventually)

I told mine last night that if they leave dirty plates around the house again i will just pick them up and put the dirty stuff in their beds......I mean it!! Mine are lazy and i am forever having screaming fits at them all. I also go through stages of picking up all their 'rubbish' that they leave everywhere, putting it in black bin backs and throwing it on the front drive.........they then rush out and bring it all back in and put away. Its a never ending battle thats for sure!

'Twas ever thus. My mother (who will be 81 in a couple of weeks) and her sister weren't allowed out on a Friday night until they'd done all their chores. This included scrubbing the front door step and black-leading the grate. And this went on until they were married.

Me either wicketkeeper. Proper Cinderella I was. I didn't stop doing the housework, until I left home. I used to have to either do it on a Friday night, before going nightclubbing or be up with the sparrows on Saturday to do it. My job was the whole of upstairs. Changing all beds, including my grotty younger brothers, cleaning the toilet and bathroom and hoover all through and put the washing on.

Needless to say, I was quick out the door, as soon as I had enough money to go!