to be pissed off at a "friend" moaning about someone breastfeeding a newborn

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

Okay to start with, I know I probably am, I'm pregnant and hormonal and everything is rubbing me up the wrong way But I have to unload this somewhere, and DH is in work...

I've just checked my facebook (yep its a facebook one ) this morning and a friend from school is moaning that shes had no sleep in the hospital (shes just had DS) because the woman next to her is breastfeeding and the baby was up all night.
Umm... Is that not what newborns do regardless of how they are fed! But nooo, she has to whinge about this baby "kicking off constantly" when he/she needs feeding! [grr]
Am very tempted to write something along the lines of "you know, it is rather difficult to get used to BF a newborn" but I'm just going to leave it I think.

Ok, I've typed it and I'm now quite sure I am BU and its none of my business. But I feel a little better :)

There was a lady like this next to me when I was in with dd - she couldn't get her baby to latch on and had a cs so couldn't walk her about to calm her. I just felt really sorry for the poor woman, I certainly wasn't pissed off! There but for the grace of god etc.

Grownupnow, that's a really horrible thing to have said to you but in her defence she was probably terribly upset about her baby and couldn't bear hearing other babies when she hadn't got her own. What a shame your hospital couldn't manage to put women with babies in SCBU on a different bay, or even better on a different ward.

When I had my 2nd baby, was sharing a room with a lady who had extremely loud visitors all day long - including about 8 members of her family at one time - they were swearing and carrying on and it was v v annoying (when she left the nurses confided to me they were glad she was gone !) Anyway, my baby was incredibly unsettled the first night, having trouble latching etc, and given he was less than a day old, woke up not happy several times - I tried to be as quiet as i could, but the next day when the other lady's mother came in, I was having a rest (Think they thought I was asleep) and I heard her mum ask how the 'other baby in this room was last night' and the girl proceeded to moan about how noisy he was etc and kept waking her up ! I was very glad when she was gone !

Another vote for replying on fb something along the lines of:
Well thank goodness you weren't next to a bottle fed baby, it would be even noisier for longer!!! Wouldn't it be great if babies didn't learn how to scream until they were a few months old :) welcome to motherhood...

I was the mother with the screaming baby on my ward after giving birth. She did not stop all night and I was trying so hard to get her to BF. I was so tired and hormonal I spent all night crying as I thought the other women would be judging me and hating me for not being able to keep my new baby happy.

She is BU, babies cry...she'll have to learn to deal with that fact!

To be fair to the OP I think if the lady made a point if mentioning that the baby was breastfed (which is how I read the post) then the link was being made.

I was awake and off my face on diamorphine in the mat ward... I wasn't feeding my babies (not twins, just either time!) I was being EVEN MORE ANNOYING and trying to get my electric bed right.... so my poor neighbours were kept up all night with whirrrrrrshhhhhut noises all night.

I was BVU, but I was kinda tripping out on the drugs and didn't care.

YABU Poor womans probably over tired and irrational. Just press hide and forget about it.

Another vote for homebirth :).
It was a ward-mate watching TV after I gave birth that kept me awake all night with DC1, shall I label all TV-viewing "bonkers" on the back of that, too?

I've had four sections and so had to stay in for longer (with the first three it was five nights and no arguing) but the only one that sticks in my mind was after number 4. Yep babies cry but this bloody woman didn't even attempt to settle the baby/feed her/change her or do any of the things that could've helped her back to sleep. I'm pretty sure she was just waiting for a midwife to come and take the baby to the nursery. When it became clear to her that nobody was going to do this she'd eventually get up, huffing and puffing and turn all the overhead lights on. Mind you she spent the entire time moaning and wailing. During the day she'd whip all the curtains around her closed thus completely obscuring my view of the telly (you weren't actually supposed to close them in the daytime as apparently a cup of tea was once knocked over a sleeping baby because the lady who brought the tea round put it on the side and hadn't realised a baby was in a cot behind it). She'd hack up crap off her lungs into the hand washing sink and was generally an inconsiderate nightmare.

To link postnatal crying to one feeding method or another is very unreasonable.

Your friend, at least, has the excuse of being exhausted, in hospital and possibly high as a kite.

For you to respond with anything snarky about FFers would be unbelievably rude. Let it go.

Being in hospital with a baby is knackering, isn´t it?

I´d give her the benefit os the doubt tbh.

When I was in one woman´s baby was crying & she was snoring through it!

I had to get a MW to wake her.

Mine had jaundice so I had a couple of nights with that bloody light on-that was the best mine slept!

After that she was in with me as it was the only way I could settle her at night.

My DD was definitely more unsettled when I was breastfeeding her in hospital as she wasn't getting anything. Even when expressing 3 hourly I produced a teardrop amount. After 7 days in hospital I switched to FF and she slept longer and cried less - of that there was no doubt people!

LiegeAndLief aye, that's what I said to myself in my head, hence getting myself even more worked up about her crying because I couldn't stop her.

It wasn't a great ward to be honest, I was there four days and three nights after my DDs birth and there was a fourteen year old in the bed in the left corner across from me who had a boyfriend she either spoke to on the phone in the wee small hours at the top of her voice getting upset all the time, or snuck in after visiting hours, and generally was quite loud and disturbing. This lady without her baby in the bed next to me, and then the bed across was just traffic... in and out mums who didn't spend more than a day.

I wasn't rushing out though, I had big problems last time I did that, so I was making sure things were good first before leaving.

That's really crap that they put mums without their babies in with those who could keep them grown up now

My local hospital had a policy of keeping the nicu and scbu mums separate from the other mums.

Dd was in scbu, I got given a private room so the sight and sound of mummies cuddling their babies didn't upset me.

It also meant I got a bit more kip, except of course a combination of excitement at new arrival and worry about her being in scbu meant I didn't get that much more sleep!

Op I'd just hide her updates till she's a bit less sleep deprived and hormonal!

YABVVU

Your poor friend has just given birth and is exhausted. She's on a noisy ward and can't sleep.

More or less any amount of whingeing is morally sanctioned, even if it is - theoretically - unreasonable.

Cut the poor girl some slack!