To think that punctuality is important?

[Purplegirlie]

I have a couple of friends that are always late. For everything. Late taking their children to school each day, late if they have an appointment and late if they're meeting someone. The last time (and I do mean the last in both senses of the word) I met with one of them she was an hour late despite the fact that I drove an hour to get to her home town, and she only had a 5 minute journey. She was late as they were "having a lazy morning".

We all have times where things crop up as we're about to leave the house, or we are delayed in traffic or whatever, but I think being constantly late is disrespectful towards people you are meeting and also sets a bad example to your children if you are taking them late into school every day.

AIBU?

I really struggle to be on time for stuff. It is just NOT my default setting. It takes enormous effort, and stress, to be on time IME - it may be straightforward for some people but not for me. I DO manage it most days, just, but only after getting incredibly stressed. And it wasn't for anyone until the Industrial Revolution made factory owners jolly keen on getting every second out of their workers - and, even more important, the invention of the railways. It was only when the railways came in that every town had to keep the same time.

In fact according to QI, there used to be family business in London that consisted of going down to Greenwich, setting their watch against the right time, then walking round London and showing people the correct time. For money. People really did pay for this service. So I'm just born too late - my struggles to be on time just wouldn't even be an issue had I lived in the 18th Century.

Edam. it takes enormous effort for EVERYONE, fgs.

yeah, right, forehead, I just bet smug 'punctuality is SO important' types get really, really stressed out. If you did, you wouldn't be so ruddy smug about it.

Everyone is different, with their own quirks and foibles. Human beings are fallible. We all have to put up with friends, colleagues, relatives and even passers by who have different personalities and make different choices. Why get so angry about people who aren't as punctual as you? Of course it's shit if someone makes you wait ages for no reason. But I'm sure there are things you do that are equally inconvenient to other people.

Edam , i don;t think it's smug to want people to turn up on time.
My dh is an employer and will not employ anyone who turns up late for an interview. Being a habitual latecomer can have a negative impact on your career, friendships etc.So it IS important to be punctual.
BTW, i would never leave people waiting ,unless there was a very good reason. Posters on this thread are criticising those who are habitually late. There is no excuse as far as i am concerned

Being intolerant can have a pretty negative effect, too.

Yes, it is very irritating if someone is habitually late, that's why I get myself into a complete tizz trying to be on time. Usually fairly successfully. I am just not made to be punctual and am really working against the grain trying to be on time.

As I said, this obsession with being on time to the minute is relatively recent in human history - only since the invention of the railway. Until the mid-19th Century, most people would have no way of knowing reliably or caring whether it was 08.58 or 09.03.

(I'm an employer too, btw.)

YADNBU! My in laws are the worst for it and it irritates me beyond the limit of acceptability!

Yanbu at all and it is so nice to see how many others feel the same as you - I hate it when people are always late, so rude!

YANBU.

I always feel guilty because I am always "late" - and by that I mean I'm always running 5-10 minutes late (especially now the baby is here). I always call or text to say where I am though, and I always apologise.

Well said Cat64

Edam, would you be happy then if you had to wait an hour for a friend to turn up when you'd rushed to meet them at a time that they had suggested? I am shocked that you seem to think it's harder work for you to get to places on time than it is for others. Why not just start getting ready earlier? Surely you must have a rough idea of how long it takes you to get dressed, etc?

I have said, repeatedly, that I AM generally on time. FGS. Don't transfer all your pent-up hatred for your late friends on to me!

YANBU. It depends - if it is an exam, interview, military exercise, etc etc you know you have to be punctual - or even, early, for those things. But then it also is unkind to make friends wait alone at cafes and shops, not being able to leave or do something else. It's less terrible if they are waiting for you in their own home, and they haven't got appointments afterwards. I think the key thing is to be considerate here - this is definitely not a "holier than thou" statement, I myself used to be chronically late to a fault, now that I have a family and have done long commutes, I make certain to aim to be early, then I know I will arrive on time. Whereas if I aim to be on time, I won't.

Edam so why is it harder for you than other people to be on time then? Are you just very slow? Or very selfish? Can you also quote the part of my post in which I transferred my "pent up hatred" onto you? I'm a bit puzzled as to why you've interpreted my post in that way.

YANBU, an hour is shocking, 5-10min max. I'm embarrassed if I am a couple of minutes late (which I have been).

I often pop into a shop for a paper on the way back from taking dd to school. Between the shop and home I regularly see the same parents strolling towards the school with their children. I just want to scream at them to have the desency to rush.