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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be really concerned/disgusted and want to say something..

35 replies

Honeypie80 · 09/09/2011 10:25

staying with my little brother for the past 10 months as our house gets work done has really opened my eyes to how much hes grown up, the problem is his girlfriend.

my brother is 25 heavy set, sz xl always has been but he hates it and has joined a gym, eating really healthily and is doing something about it, his girlfriend is 20 yrs old and a size 22. they see each other twice a week andf every time she stays over here she will bring a bag full of sweets,cakes,chocolate literally not joking at least 3 huge bars of galaxy,dairy milk, jelly sweets and family packs of crisps if she can fill it in an asda bag she will bring it.its kind of a joke that we know when shes coming cos the sugar levels in the house triple overnight. along with this they usually get takeout, kfc, pizza or mostly chippy meals. everything really that he avoids at all other times and sneers if he sees us with a meal from the chippy on the blue moon when we can afford it!

last night though she took the piss, myself and dp have flu, been off work since tues and in bed for most part, she turns up from being out with friends at midnight, starts singing to herself, hear bro tell her to stop and go to sleep (the walls here are paper thin which makes it worse), they then get up at half 2 and go out, i think hes taken her home, got up to get a beechams while i was awake, no they then come in with a massive mcdonalds meal for her, they had actually drove to the all night 1 which is a good 20 mins away..... i let it go but think to myself god she has a problem.

just been out to put something in the bin, he had been clearing his room out so everything in their was his apart from a bin bag i put in on tuesday, i would take a picture and post it if i could but it is brimming with chocolate wrappers, cake boxes, crisp packets, just a heart attack in a bin really, i was sooo shocked that he had helped her consume sooo much food, he has heart trouble himself so id of thought he wouldnt want to do more damage.

When hes on his own he is a saint for eating healthy its only when she turns up, its making me mad actually that hes allowing her to do it, but what do i do sit back and watch him die of a heart attack or say something, if so im not stupid i know it will cause an arguement but seriously isnt getting up at 2 to go and get a meal a bit too much?

OP posts:
HPonEverything · 09/09/2011 12:27

YABU, it's his house, his health, his girlfriend, he's an adult. You're on a hiding to nothing by insulting his girlfriend and his eating habits

"When her drunken crying wakes me up at 2am screaming i want a maccies now, im starving - then yes i did let it go!" - in the OP you said she was singing and you thought they'd gone home. Anyway regardless it's still unreasonable behaviour - she's marking her territory and considers it more her place than yours. If you're paying rent then you have a right to ask them to keep it down at night so you can sleep. If you're staying for free then you just have to suck it up.

ceebie · 09/09/2011 12:42

Clearly your DB is fully aware of how to eat healthily as he does so when his girlfriend is not around, so for some unfathomable reason he is making his own choice to eat unhealthily when she is there. You have to leave it to them to make their own choices and sort it out between themselves - or not. Either way, I'm sure he's perfectly aware of what he's doing and I can't see what you could achieve by mentioning it to him. Clearly he loves his girlfriend, be careful about insulting her.

HeifferunderConstruction · 09/09/2011 13:26

Thb she may be a bad influence but hes a grown man the fact he has sucj low will power in the prescence of someone who eats badly is really his responsibility.

Perhaps if he said to her 'look im trying to be healthy stop tempting me? what would she say OP

Honeypie80 · 09/09/2011 17:48

She would say im not eating that crap, get me a burger.... we have tried this, those 2 usually cook for themselves while i cook for myself and dp, if shes not here though he always assumes im cooking for all 3, anyway having been dieting myself over the summer ive been eating lots of salads, jackets with grilled chicken or tuna, the faces she pulls at my tea are hysterical, maybe boring yes, but will i be having a heart attack at 30...No.

I know its his life etc so ill just let him get on with it, was talking to my mum, about it today as shes concerned and had already known what she was like when she used to stay over at my mums, she said she has got progressively worse, and the funniest thing i heard today was, her mum is a nutritionist!!!

If her own mum cant help control her daughters eating then why should i be so concerned, ill just keep encouraging my brother to keep up his good work and helping him get out and exercise more by playing tennis with him whenever i can

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 09/09/2011 17:59

Her drunken crying for macies did NOT wake you up! You said in your OP that you thought he was taking her home!

minimisschief · 09/09/2011 19:42

to be fair it is none of your business what people choose to eat. why isitan issue to you what she eats.

Also it isn't your house if its bugging you rent somewhere.

Honeypie80 · 09/09/2011 21:09

mumblingragdoll I said her crying woke me up, should of been kept me up.... so sorry - dont know why this was so significant to you, but glad to of cleared it up!

OP posts:
Onemorning · 09/09/2011 21:30

YABU

Perhaps your DB is trying to please you by eating 'well' most of the time, and his GF by binge eating when she is there? It can't be an easy situation for any of you. If I had a relative staying in my house for 10 months plus I'd be tucking into the biscuits too.

I'd definitely resist the urge to be openly judgemental about his food / choice of girlfriend. It sounds as if he is making steps towards being healthier, and one day he may find a GF who is a bit nicer!

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 09/09/2011 21:40

I was also amused that you 'let it go' that two ADULTS ate unhealthy food Hmm .
Your brother is 25 you need to keep your beak out and take his hospitality in good grace without using it as an opportunity to sneer at his diet/choice of gf.

MumblingRagDoll · 10/09/2011 21:40

It's not "significant" to me at all Honey but you said one thing and then totally different thing...first this...

they then get up at half 2 and go out, i think hes taken her home, got up to get a beechams while i was awake, no they then come in with a massive mcdonalds meal for her

And then this

When her drunken crying wakes me up at 2am screaming i want a maccies now, im starving - then yes i did let it go!

So you are making stuff up or you have an odd perception of telling a story. Smile

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