to be refusing to go along with this?

[isaidnoimeanno]

I am a regular but have name changed for this as I don't want to be outed.

DS is five and has just started year one. Yesterday he was in the playground and a boy from his class took hold of his hood and started swinging him round. Eventually this boy swung him into a wall.

When I arrived to pick ds up I was asked to see the Deputy Head as there had been an "incident" involving ds. When I got there ds was with her with a huge graze down the side of his face and an ice pack on his arm. The Deputy Head took me out of the room and said she had a serious issue to discuss with me. I assumed it was to do with the injury (and the fact that his coat is destroyed). But no she wasn't that interested in that and refused to say what was being done about the other boy.

She wanted to discuss with me a racist comment that my son had made. Apparently when he was asked who had injured him he replied that he didn't know but that the boy had "brown skin".

It appears that this has been logged as a racist incident. DS has been told that he mustn't use those words. I was told that I would get a call from an inclusion unit at the council who would advise me on race issues and would come to my home to discuss it with me.

I had the phone call this morning. They want to come to my home to discuss racism with me. I am furious. Firstly I am not racist. I haven't said a word to anyone and my son merely pointed out the most obvious thing about this boy. He said nothing negative about the boy's race or colour. Secondly when I pointed out to her that amongst our good friends are families from Libya, Singapore, Cambodia and Taiwan she said it was possible to be in that position and still be racist!

I have refused to meet her and she is apparently planning to "discuss it with the head teacher". I am a little concerned as I help out in school and am a governor at another school in the area.

My ds is baffled because he doesn't know what he's done wrong. He said this morning over breakfast "but mummy I thought it didn't matter what colour your skin is?". That's the way we've bought our children up. We haven't discussed colour or race because it doesn't matter. Everyone is equal. I tried explaining that to the caller and was told I was "naive".

Was I naive in not discussing it with the children? The only vaguely "race" education we've done was to take them to the slavery musuem and show them how nasty people can be to each other and how we must never let that happen.

So am I being unreasonable? Naive?

Sorry, posted too soon.
In other words, put the onus on them to explain the rather hastily-arrived at conclusion that this was racist, but without being confrontational.

Write to the head of governors, cc in the head and social services, repeat your sons comment about colour not mattering, lodge a complaint about your sons injuries not being taken seriously, ask for a copy of the bullying policy. Should do the trick!

Tell them you will be contacting the local newspaper also.

Does it strike anyone that this is a deflection tactic from the head teacher, to distract you from following up the bullying incident as forcefully as you might have done?

We have asian friends and DS couldn't remember their daughters name. So he called her "the brown girl". The girls mum was there, told DS her daughters name, and no-one thought anything of it. It was purely a descriptive term, we all knew who he meant and it wasn't an issue for anyone, even the mum. If your DS had said "the blond boy" or "the ginger haired boy" that would have been descriptive and i can't imagine the school taking issue with that. PC-ness gone mad.

Are either of the boys new to the school? If they have already spent a year In the same class they should know each others names. In that case you can see why the head objects to the use of the childs colour to identify him.

Hope your sons ok today.

Absolutely incredible. You've had some good advice about who to write to so just wanted to add that YANBU. And I don't think your son should think he was unreasonable either. Brown skin is a straightforward descriptive comment - just like short boy, messy hair, red cheeks might be.

I believe you. Sadly I find it all too believable. Write to the headteacher outlining your concerns. Find out who the councillor with cabinet responsibility for children's services/social services is and cc him/her along with chair of school governers. Advise you will escalate this to your MP if not satisfactorily resolved.

When my lads were at school, their headmistress, a nun, used the old chestnut "attack is the best form of defense" strategy. So if anyone complained about the school or a teacher she would invite the parent into her office and suggest that this was a good time to discuss the student's failings.

I agree with Mumsnut and all the others who advised you to seek clarification of the school's policies regarding racism and bullying and follow up the incident where your child was hurt.

I believe you, OP. Something not dissimiliar happened to my son.

Eventually, after me persistently, complaining for nearly 7 months my son received an apology from the HOY and the offending teacher left at the end of the academic year.

I wonder if you live in the same LEA.

FFS! This teacher is racist herself if she thinks that referring to someone as "having browns skin" is negative. I have brown skin, and if anyone identifies me as "the lady with brown skin" I do not think they are racist. It's just an observation. My son is half white, half asian, and he and I might identify a person as "the boy over there with the red trainers and the black skin", or "the girl with the red hair" ? what's the difference. You don't sound racist to me, and as a british asian, I am offended at her walking on eggshells patronising reaction to what your son said. Who the hell with brown skin thinks having brown skin, and being identified as having it, is negative? would a white person be offended if they were identified as "white, in their 20s" etc, as police ID happens. This teacher is out of line and you should complain about her immediately. And they let your ds down by not helping him deal with the person who was physically aggressive towards him. I'm outraged.

I find it all too believable-PC gone mad.
I would follow Merrin's advice.

kneedeep - exactly - the teacher is making such a big deal out of the child having brown skin, that shows that she might think that brown skin is a bad thing.

If this is legit, and they're saying a neutral reference to skin colour in the absence of the child's name was/is racist, then why is it that the police are allowed to make reference to exactly the same when giving or taking descriptions of individuals?

This doesn't make sense. Write to the Head of Governors, CC in the Headteacher and the LA personnel who may have an interest. I agree with those on here who say that the physical violence used against your son must be treated with equal concern.

I'm usually against making much of a fuss but in this case it's what I'd do.

Most schools' Racism Policies use the definition of racist abuse contained in the McPherson Report into institutional racism in the police force.

ie

'' A racist incident is any incident that is believed to be racist by the victim or
other person'' The Stephen Lawrence Inquiry Report.

As you can see it's entirely subjective and covers everything from the most minor infraction to racially motivated murder.

It had to be that way to fully explore the institutional racism in the police force - but I wonder if it is suitable for use in schools?

As well, as the excellent advice you've been given - do persevere I kept being fobbed off. I wasn't going to rest until the alleged incident had been removed from DS's LEA record and he had received an apology.