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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is my workplace a load of poo?

42 replies

Ladypunk · 08/09/2011 09:41

Hello All!

I have an issue with work (who doesn't?).

What it is, is, I'm 7 months into my first pregnency, and I feel like I'm starting to struggle a bit. You see, I'm feeling heavy/achy/can't sleep - all the usual symptoms.

So, the other day I went in to speak with my normally lovely boss, explained the situation, and asked her if I could work a few days from home a week as a way to cope better with my workload. And basically, she seemed really, really reluctant, and more or less hinted that I should go on maternity leave early. I can't afford to do this. She said she would have to ask someone else (she's the MD?!). But, she's away today and all of next week... so, when will I get an answer?

Anyway...

What really bugs me is, other members of staff do it. Work from home, full time - all I want is a few days just to help me out. When I pointed this out to her she said that, to work from home was part of their original contract. I mean, WTF? My circumstances have changed, and I do feel as though I have always tried my best to be a good member of staff - I even learned to drive (at my own expense), because it would suit my role better. So now I need something, it just seems like I'm not getting the support I need.

Can anyone advise?

LP X

OP posts:

AnnabellaFagina · 09/09/2011 10:58

Hotbot, what about commuting and so on? Have you ever been heavily pregnant?

Original poster

Ladypunk · 09/09/2011 11:03

Hello Hotbot,

Thanks for your response. Perhaps I'm not explaining this very well. That's what the other people do who work from home - it's seen the other way round actually (by the company) - why make the effort to travel all the way into work when the technology is in place to work from home? Other staff members are trusted to do this. The nature of my job means that I absolutely could not get away with not doing the work I have to do because...well, it wouldn't get done would it?

To give an example. Yesterday, I had the afternoon off. I went to see the MW, and then had a sleep. I woke up at around 5pm. I was sat there, thinking, I could catch-up with the afternoon's work if I could log in to my work computer. It was bugging me that I couldn't.

My workplace, despite being an office, is very uncomfortouble and hot - the girls who I work with are quite difficult to communicate with. If anything, I think I could get MORE done at home - I know I could, because I've done it in past roles.

I think this boils down to...it's getting to hard to work for these people. Bearing in mind the experience of being preg while working here, it will not get better when I have a new child. Therefore, I think it best to explore my options when it's time to go back.

OP posts:

hotbot · 09/09/2011 11:06

errm anabella --yes, and i have with a managerial job that was extremely stressful, and physical....... and major complications with both of my pregnancies and still fulfilled my work obligations
the op needs to explain to her boss why she is struggling, the main frame of her argument seems to be that she wants to work from home - and "others do it". there is no real reason for a change of work due to circumstance , no explanation of a long commute etc.....

hotbot · 09/09/2011 11:12

ladypunk -you need to start your return to work strategy now then of sloping into a flexible working environment (after 5pm)as she may want to to do that on your return to work whilst still in the office.
why does your boss want you in the office ? does she need a presence? and be very careful

hotbot · 09/09/2011 11:13

sorry that post made no sense i should preview
be very careful
of sloping into a flexible working environment (after 5pm)as she may want to to do that on your return to work whilst still in the office.

SisterCarrie · 09/09/2011 11:14

I haven't returned to work as my flexible working proposal was rejected and the nature of my old job is that I wouldn't be fulfilling the terms of my contract if I didn't work the late nights and early mornings (on a completely random basis, which is fine when you're single and have understanding partner/friends!).

I understand what you say about not expecting a change in attitude, but it does sound from your OP that you're contradicting yourself there - you're expecting them to let you work from home and change your working pattern to the one you started on because you're pregnant. I think it would be easier for them to get their heads round it if you had asked to work from home before you got pregnant as the 2 circumstances wouldn't be connected in the same way.

Worth giving it a shot for a trial period of the flexible working you would like if/when you return, though. Much harder to find new part-time job than get the old one to go part-time, if that's what you want. NB working from home parents at my former employer have to prove they have 100% childcare in place the same as if they were in the office.

AnnabellaFagina · 09/09/2011 11:14

I'm not going to play pregnancy complications top trumps with you, hotbot, sometimes the tiredness associated with a normal late pregnancy is enough, and sounds like the op's workplace are putting additional stresses on her. Why shouldn't she work from home, only she knows how she really feels and nothing is worth risking her or her baby's health.

MrsHuxtable · 09/09/2011 11:19

Only thing I can add is that if you end up on sick leave, they can only force you to start ML at 36 weeks. It used to be earlier but that law changed a few years ago.

Original poster

Ladypunk · 09/09/2011 11:29

Hello SisterCarrie,

I see what you mean about the contradition and good point. But then, thinking about it, having a child is perhaps one of the biggest things a woman can do in her life. Why souldn't there be change expected? In all the magazines, books, websites etc, it does harp on about the fact the you can continue on with your career. But, if your company won't support this change then how on earth can you?

I'm starting to think that me and the company don't fit too well anymore, because of this change to my circumstances. They're not willing to be flexible, so that's down to me to move on when the time comes, I think.

It must have happened to other people? When they have a child and that change makes it so their working circumstances have to change too?

And AnnabellaFagina (fab name!) - you're right, they have put a lot of stress onto me. And I don't stress too easy. But, just, they keep changing their minds about getting cover for when I go (therefore I can't teach anyone about the things I do so they're maintained when I'm away), and there's no HR team to talk to about any of my questions or concerns. My boss refuses to talk to me about the implications of my going off for a bit, and when will happen when I return...I sort of makes me feel like my job won't be here when I'm ready to come back (just a feeling I have in my tummy, aside from the kicking of course!).

I did say before that I did get signed off sick for a while for stress, and my boss didn't even chat to be about this when I got back - despite the fact that we're supposed to have a 'back to work' interview when you have time off.

I don't know, sometimes I think, in the workplace, when things get too hard I do think it's time to look at the options. After all, life is short - why waste it by working for people who you feel don't play fair?

OP posts:

SisterCarrie · 09/09/2011 11:50

Sounds like you're on the road to not returning after ML now - the law is in place to protect your existing job - lots of information on that in the "returning to work" thread - but any flexible working is at the employer's discretion after you have submitted your proposal. They are under no obligation to accept your proposal, just to make sure you have your old job back, or equivalent.

I didn't have any cover in place before I left - TBH, it's not your problem! They can cover with a wholly new person or share the work out among the existing staff. Unless they make your role redundant, following the proper consultation processes etc, while you are on ML, you are entitled to return to your exact role, whether there has been cover or not. Let them worry about that.

ChrissasMissis · 09/09/2011 12:37

Hi Ladypunk,

I have had a similar experience to you, with a wavering and seemingly unsympathetic boss. I didn't matter how dedicated and enthusiastic I had been prior to my pregnancy, I was now viewed as an encumbrance. Unfortunately, it was also impossible to do my job from home, so I had to suck it up. I just made sure I took things at a sensible pace.

By law, your employer is required to do a Pregnant Worker Health Assessment to ensure that suitable adjustments are made within the work environment to enable you do your job safely whilst pregnant.

I would also warn you to approach any sick leave with extreme caution. If you are signed off with a pregnancy-related issue, then your employer can insist that you begin your maternity leave immediately. If you're a while away from your due date then you probably don't want to use up your ML allowance yet.

I would also say that you are much more likely to want your employer to be flexible about your working patterns after your maternity leave. The legislation on flexible working is that your employer only has to listen to your request - they are not obliged to act on it. I would suggest you might want to keep them sweet for when you return to work...

I really hope that you can find a mutually agreeable solution with your employer.

AnnabellaFagina · 09/09/2011 16:04

Your employer can only force you on to maternity leave from 36 weeks

Original poster

Ladypunk · 11/09/2011 11:25

And so now the plot thickens. My job is being advertised (a friend told me this - she works in the recruitment industry), as a maternity cover, but for a substantially larger amount of money.

Did I miss something here?

OP posts:

mankyscotslass · 11/09/2011 11:42

No, it's fairly standard for temporary maternity cover to be paid more, due to the temporary nature of the job.

They need to attract people knowing that the job is temp, so it has to be worth their while to make up for the lack of security.

EG, in DH's line of work he gets a decent salary as a permanent worker, but if they bring someone on on a contract to cover maternity leave in his office they usually get paid about 1/3 more than him to cover.

Original poster

Ladypunk · 11/09/2011 11:49

Oh! Well....you see, it says, 'with a view to offer a permenent position'. Could this be if I don't come back?

My boss knows I've been struggling with money for ages, and have been gearing up for a payrise - this means if I go back and this person earns more than me, than technically, I will be offering support to a less experienced person within the company who earns more than me???

This SUCKS! WAHAAAAAAAA!

(Sorry, I had to let that out :))

OP posts:

Talker2010 · 11/09/2011 12:01

Other people's contracts and pay grades are not your concern

If you want to change your contract/pay/conditions then you need to have valid reasons for doing so

Not liking the other girls in the office does not seem to be pregnancy related

Original poster

Ladypunk · 11/09/2011 12:27

You're right. I'm very unreasonable.

OP posts:

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