things that you have said in front of your lo and regretted it later

[devonshiredumpling]

driving home the other day a car cut me up and i blurted out you twat forgeeting i had my four year old sitting in the back later on that day he asked my dp what a twat was oh the shame

I deeply regret muttering 'interfering cow' to myself when I hung up the phone to my mum.... my youngest took great delight in telling her what I'd said.

fucks sake is always gleefully repeated at inopportune moments

fuck FORK in my defense, i think i had done something very painful, (got the 2 mm thick edge of the high chair plus weight of small boy across the nail bed of my big toe that was already missing half a nail due to being stuck under the cooker. it still has a massive dent in it, but now 3/4 of a nail) though he had also heard it when I nearly got my foot run over by an idiot driving off the pavement as we were going past.

I said to DH in front of DS that I felt like a T-I-T about something - so DS (nearly 7) asked me what a tit was.... forget that the kid can read and spell now.

DH and I had conversation about ds (v light hearted) being a little bugger about sleeping at night................cue a 3.8yo calling the cat a little bugger - I suppose it could have been worse, least ds wasn't being called a little bugger by his sister.

My bf little girl did say on her first day of school that she needed to go and have a shit - this was courtesy of her father apparently

Oh op wouldn't worry about twat. My mum has always, from when I was born used it (an called me and my siblings it) Finally at the age of 16 I pulled out a dictionary and showed her what it's definition was. For 20 yrs she had wondered why people gave her funny looks when she called a small child a twat - poor woman :(

Wanker. It was entirely justified, as some wanker cut me up round Hyde Park Corner. DS who was then 2 said wanker repeatedly all the way home.

Not me but a friend introducd my 6yo twins to some interesting language whillst driving them back from a party. Apparently the car was almost hit by some one called a "bloody dickhead". When asked "What did you just say? the rather shy reply was " Well that's what Graham called them" He was doing us a massive favour, though, and was mortified when we called him to laugh tell him what they had said!

I didn't realise DS 3 was behind me when I dropped something and said fucking hell (it was a stressful day). That day he dropped his toy car at my parents and turned round and said fucking hell

I have recently had to explain to DD nearly 4 what 'fox ache' is. Oh and when we are in the car she will sweetly say 'Ís that man an idiot mummy?'

Im sitting behind a car who was taking FOREVER to take a turn.My Dd2 was sitting in the back of my car, she was about 4 at the time.Shes happily shouting,call her a stupid chicken mum.Why would I do that I ask.Her ever so innocent reply was well you called that last lady a stupid cow :o

Reminds me of a story a friend told.

She was walking along with her 8 year old daughter and the daughters friend. they are very proper families and lovely girls. As they pass a man in the street the 8 year old friend says "wanker" out of nowhere. Man looks a bit shocked and friend is mortified.

They get home and she asks the 8 year old where she heard that word and why she said it. Turns out they were passing some graffiti on the wall and the girl was literally just reading out a word she saw written at that exact moment they passed the man.

I got frustrated at 2yo DS not wanting to do any of the lovely things I had planned on my day off, 'Oh, DS, shall we go to the park?'
'NO!'
for a walk?
NO!
To get some ice cream?
NO!
God DS, if I offered you the moon on a plate today you'd say no...
Ok Mama, moon. MOON! MOON! GO TO MOON!!! WAAAAH! AGH! MOON!

@ madam

My DP said fucking Jesus in the car with ds1 in the back. Ds1 was 2. He merrily enquired "who is fucking Jesus" all the way round the supermarket the next day.

I was on the school run home and was blocked in at this busy island by idiot drivers who were queueing on the island and didn't have the decency to leave a gap so people could still get through. I shouted 'FOR FUCKS SAKE!' at the top of my voice, before remembering that DD and DS were in the back and stunned into silence. I very sheepishly apologised as DD was old enough to realise it was a pretty bad swear word