...to think that a job advert...

[purplepidjin]

...written in the first person is extremely patronising and sounds like it was written by a fourteen year old?

I do

Definitely wanky!

yes especially as the benefits section changes!

Cringe

Love how its switches back to third person when it gets to the benefits bit.

"I support the Opticians Manager around achieving green people key performance indicators"

WTF?

YANBU - this seems to be everyhere nowadays. I complained to DH on Sunday that the handbook given out to volunteer helpers at the Olympics is written in this style, and extremely patronising

I didn't actually bother reading as far as the benefits section, just decided it'd make a better AIBU than advert

It's for a relatively senior, specialist job too. I can understand why some prick marketing guru might misguidedly see this as appropriate for a 16yo school leaver but for a medical professional?

woolyideas the green is a traffic light - you are achieving the key performance indicators (targets) for the people quadrant of the tesco 'steering wheel' ie customer service. Red = not achieving, etc.

The manager tells me how I'm getting on sometimes.

"I have a periodic one to one with my Opticians Manager to review progress of the business and the key performance indicators"

Must be one for the Plain English Campaign

Is it maybe lifted straight from the contract that "I" sign?
Still wanky but makes a little more sense.

I hate the ones that are written with you in mind:

"WE are a market leader with a drive for perfection. YOU are a team player with a passion for great customer service. What sets you apart from the rest is your determination to succeed..." etc. You can just see them thinking "this'll have them nodding along at home"

SPB, I don't even click those! You can just tell that the person doing the interviewing will have over-gelled hair and a suspiciously flash car and will therefore get my hackles well and truly risen (which they will think is a euphemism...)

"trading safe and legally" - someone hand him an "ly" PLEASE...

I've done 5 pages of Reed, 3 of Office Angels and am on page 4 of the local Echo. "ly"s are the least of my problems...

Anybody got any suggestions of where to look next? I truly loathe my job

That is awful. I think I read backwards to an extent because when I got to the Benefits section I wondered where the "I get 4 weeks holiday..." had gone!

what are ypu loking for? Have you tried totaljobs? Monster (bit crap i know), indeed.co.uk

Can I just go off on a tangent? (feel free to ignore)

Fashion for history-buffs on TV docs to talk about events in the present tense - to create excitement and a sense of relevance "Henry and his troops are in grave danger. Richard sees his chance" F orf

Ah, the joys of history for the goldfish attention-spanned

totaljobs irritate me by not having a geographical clue. Monster only ever seems to have repeats of what's in the Echo except in mind-melting format.

Will try indeed tomorrow, need sleep now!! Thank you

good luck

I live near Washington (Tyne and Wear), Quebec and Toronto (both tiny villages, maybe a few hundred inhabitants between them). I am always amazed to find that I am only a few km away from a top job in a major player on the world market, until I realise the jobhsite is in the wrong continent.

hey and who knew Leeds was within 25 miles of Durham?? They must have folded the map that day.

Apparently, Wiltshire is within 20 miles of where I live, 20 miles south of Southampton

Ditto Exeter

I did a one day a week commute to Portsmouth for a while. It was horrendous. Do NOT try and tell me to go via the Isle of Wight; I know it's only 15 miles that way but I will NOT be negotiating two ferries each way

"Identify all potential recovery opportunities including duel insurance"

Roffle. I thought that fashion died out in the 1800s???

Aaah cory - I did not know this. To me it has been a noticeably recent "history is fun!" TV phenomenon. Maybe it's justified then