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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend more on DD this Christmas ?

27 replies

Sookeh · 07/09/2011 11:35

Currently budgeting for Christmas. I know it's early but I like to save up a while beforehand as money is going to be pretty tight.

DD is 3, DS will be five days shy of 1 on Christmas day. WIBU to spend a little more on DD as she will know more about what's going on IFKWIM, or do you think I should spend the same amount on both children?

Thanks in advance :)

OP posts:
pommedechocolat · 07/09/2011 11:37

I think budgeting to an exact same amount is a bit odd to be honest. Same number of presents is what children will compare.

A one year old won't even understand that!

Buy them what they will love and what you can afford. DD's 'loves' are likely to cost more of course.

It all evens out over the years.

Tanif · 07/09/2011 11:37

At five days shy of 1yo, I doubt very much that your DS will be screaming about the unfairness of it all. I would definitely spend a bit more on the 3yo, purely because she'll appreciate it/enjoy it more.

worraliberty · 07/09/2011 11:39

Like your 1yr old is going to know it's Christmas...let alone how much you've spent? Confused

Original poster
Sookeh · 07/09/2011 11:41

I know he wont know worral but I was just wondering. Stupid things make me feel like a bad mum.

OP posts:
HattiFattner · 07/09/2011 11:44

I know many people that have wrapped up previous childrens toys for the 1 year old - who will just want to play with the paper anyway!

winnybella · 07/09/2011 11:45

YANBU. Tbh I wouldn't spend more than few quid on DS, he won't have any clue. Frankly, he would be delighted with some wrapping paper.

FabbyChic · 07/09/2011 11:46

I never spent the same amount on mine they are five years apart.

It isn;t about how much you spend but making sure they both have the same amount of presents to open. Cost is really irrelevant.

My kids always had 10 or 12 presents.

Scholes34 · 07/09/2011 11:48

They don't even need the same amount of presents. No doubt DD will be doing her bit to help DS open his. And you don't need to spend much money on either.

slavetofilofax · 07/09/2011 11:50

I think you have to make sure they get the same number of presents, but at this age it doesn't matter how much they cost. It's all about parcels to open.

Even though your youngest is only 1, I would still make sure they have the same number of presents because your 3yo may well pay attention, and I think it sends the wrong message she is aware ahe is getting more than her brother.

ChippingIn · 07/09/2011 11:51

Get away with what you can this year Grin

1 yo will probably be far more interested in the boxes.

I woudn't even be worried about buying anything for DS if you already have a lot of toys etc. He really really wont know or care. Just let him help to open all the presents - he'll be just as happy!

Original poster
Sookeh · 07/09/2011 11:52

That's a good point slavetofilofax, I'd not thought of it like that.

I'm not planning on spending a huge amount but this is the first Christmas I've had two so wasn't sure what other parents did Smile

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 07/09/2011 11:53

I disagree with 'slaveto' (not saying she's wrong Smile just I disagree).

Get DS one or two little things 'From Santa'.

DD will not care what DS gets as long as she gets presents. She wont remember The Year She Got All The Presents.

If she does notice, does it really matter - all you need to say is DS is a baby and he has everything he needs right now.

Original poster
Sookeh · 07/09/2011 11:57

Arf at "The Year She Got All The Presents" Grin

OP posts:
JodieHarsh · 07/09/2011 11:59

Dear God. Really? Really?! Confused You would feel like 'a bad mum' if you expended less coin of the realm on a 1 year old than on his sibling Confused Confused

a) he won't know
b) even a 5 year old would be unlikely to be either bothered or capable of totting up combined expenditure and nursing a grievance about it
c) motherhood, love, Christmas and gifts are nothing to do with monetary value

For your own sake woman. Take off the bloody hair shirt Grin

JodieHarsh · 07/09/2011 12:00

PS kudos on the Chrimbo planning ahead. The Harsh household is saving all Nectar points for this very purpose

Original poster
Sookeh · 07/09/2011 12:03

Grin Jodie.

I think I just feel extra guilty about things when it comes to DS. Everyone seems to make more of a fuss of DD so I feel like I have to overcompensate.

OP posts:
rosiemama · 07/09/2011 12:06

i agree with what others have said.. buy them each something you know they will love, who cares which cost more..

i know what you mean though, DS2 will be 1 on 30th December too and i haven't even thought about what to get him, but have tons of stuff i want to get for DS1 that i know he will love!

JodieHarsh · 07/09/2011 12:07

Aw, I can see how you might worry about that.

What matters is the fuss you make, which I imagine is split precisely. Don't let anyone else influence you or your Christmas, the feckers.

Although if you haven't started your Christmas cake already I, for one, will think you a paltry excuse for a human being Mum Grin

startail · 07/09/2011 12:20

1 year olds toys are very quickly out grown.
Save your money now until the summer at 18 months he'll be able to run about. Then buy him a nice ride on toy or one of those little trampolines with a handle which will get used for years,

EnglishMumInSouthOfFrance · 07/09/2011 12:40

Everyone knows Christmas is about spending time with loved ones, not how many presents you get cough , so long as they both have something to open, I don't think it's a good idea to fixate on who has the most presents as it may then become an issue in a year or two (and you don't want to end up with a couple of Dudlys from Harry Potter now do you?!). If kids aren't spoilt, then they're usually happy about having something to open, no matter what it is (the only time I have ever seen DS not impressed with a present was the first year I put a satsuma in his stocking, but it turned into an occasion to talk about rationing post WW2 when his great grandma was a little girl, now there was a festive topic for Xmas morning).

EnglishMumInSouthOfFrance · 07/09/2011 12:41

Oh and stock up on toys during the sales when they're 70% cheaper then squirrel them away until needed!

PontyMython · 07/09/2011 12:47

Don't be silly :)

Little children don't have the faintest idea what things cost, it really doesn't matter!

We have 5 DCs between us - from 19 to 2 years old - we have never deliberately spent the same on any of them, even the twins! If anything we may make sure they have the same amount of packages but not if they want something expensive, for example one last year was desperate for an iPod and they knew that meant having less little bits to open.

There is no point in buying extra stuff just to make up the budget, just go with what you know they'll love, even if it's really cheap.

Scholes34 · 07/09/2011 13:58

I don't even hold with the need to give them the same number of packages. I deliberately don't do this, and sometimes will buy a gift for just one of the DCs, because I've seen something very appropriate for them. The other DCs will join in with the joy of giving - she said very sanctimoniously.

But seriously, it takes away the expectation on the part of the child. They know that over time everything just evens out and with the DCs being close in age, a gift for one is usually something they'll all enjoy.

goinggetstough · 07/09/2011 14:46

At whatever age I don't think you always have to be equal to be fair! If you always tot things up then the DC start to do this and thats when problems arise as they expect it.

CocktailQueen · 07/09/2011 14:52

Spend more on dd!! DS won't know anything about it - or need much!