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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think informing me about the ill health of a cat is quite important?

51 replies

Bearcrumble · 07/09/2011 08:47

I admit was slightly rude to my mother but she had been doing my head in by texting me about twice a day about stupid things - ie "I am going out with my friend Pat today" or "my cleaner is back from holiday". I was a bit moody (early pregnancy and natural tendency to moodiness) and texted her "please don't text/call me unless it is important".

Now,two days after I sent the text I find out indirectly (DH rang her for something) that my old cat is in the vets and probably going to die.

Surely that counts as important?

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 07/09/2011 08:48

I think you've hurt your mum's feelings and need to apologise- how inconvenient is it to receive an inconsequential text message?

cornsylk · 07/09/2011 08:49

sorry about your cat but you were rude to your mum.

2blessed2bstressed · 07/09/2011 08:53

2 texts a day annoyed you that much? You upset your mum and now she's either
a) deliberately not told you about the cat to upset you back, or
b) not sure what you consider "important" and hasn't texted you in case you snap at her again.

Original poster
Bearcrumble · 07/09/2011 08:53

It is quite inconvenient when I'm trying to have a rest upstairs and my phone was in the kitchen. I leapt up (triggering a bout of morning sickness) to get the phone and it's some guff about her cleaner.

OP posts:
cornsylk · 07/09/2011 08:54

sorry if that sounded abrupt OP - I remember being devastated when my old cat died. But my parents didn't let me know that she was going to the vets etc - they told me after she had died. They thought of her as their cat as she lived with them and I didn't, so that was fine really.

Original poster
Bearcrumble · 07/09/2011 08:55

No, no it didn't sound abrupt. Sorry about your cat.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 07/09/2011 08:55

So... either have your phone with you, or leave it in another room on silent and don't look at it until you are sufficiently rested.

DragonsEx · 07/09/2011 08:56

Why don't you just switch your phone off when you're having a rest, and put it back on when you get up?
Hope your cat is ok :)

MrsCarriePooter · 07/09/2011 08:58

Ouch. You need to apologise and don't have a go at her for not telling you about the cat (sorry to hear it's ill though). How would you feel if someone sent something like that to you? If it's inconvenient to get up then keep your phone with you, and use the silent function if you want quiet.

CailinDana · 07/09/2011 09:02

Are you my sister? Shortly after my DS was born my mum developed a habit of texting at 10 or 11 at night, usually just in the middle of the 2 hours or so of sleep I was getting a night. I never turn off my phone as I don't have a landline and I don't want to be out of contact. Most people are sensible enough to know that you don't text a new mother late at night. Eventually I told my mum to stop texting after 9 so she stopped calling me. Ever. She hasn't called me in months, although she has texted a couple of times. She's the world's biggest sulker. Also, she told me about our dead cat about two weeks after it happened, and it was only when I asked where she was that she said "Oh she's dead."

Some mums are just a pain in the ass.

cantspel · 07/09/2011 09:08

You were rude and if i had received a text like that i would never bother to text them again.

She is your mother and you cant spare a few milly seconds to look at a random text from her?

FancyForgetting · 07/09/2011 09:15

I'm sorry about your cat and that you're feeling so crap, but...if I were your mum I'd be very hurt by that message and would not be initiating contact for a while, on principle. Or maybe she's genuinely trying to comply with your request, in a non PA way, but you don't necessarily share a view on what's 'important' enough to warrant a text?

Unfortunately my elderly parents haven't mastered texting, so I get phone calls throughout the day with similar content - drives me potty sometimes, but worth falling out over? Not really, IMO.

Do you 'do' Facebook? Strikes me that status updates are really just the current equivalent of your mum's texts or my folks' calls.

Does your mum know you're pregnant (congratulations, btw)? If she wants you to reply to her texts ( and that is irritating) let her know that you do read them, but won't always be able to reply as you're not feeling great.

Hope you feel better and get some rest (but take your phone up with you or switch it off!) And fingers crossed for your cat.

Mitmoo · 07/09/2011 09:20

Apologise to your Mum OP, she did nothing wrong and you were rude. If you are going for a rest, text her say "Im going for a rest, I'll text when I'm up". She can't mind read.

Original poster
Bearcrumble · 07/09/2011 09:26

cantspel So you'd never bother to contact your child again after receiving one slightly snippy text? That's great. I'm going to change my name to MillySeconds I think. I love that.

Sympathies CailinDana - we do seem to share a mother.

OP posts:
Pinot · 07/09/2011 09:28

YABU and rude. And precious. And self-centred. And rude. Oh and did I mention rude?

You should apologise immediately to your Mum and hope your child doesn't treat you like this in the future.

cantspel · 07/09/2011 09:33

Bearcrumble read again i said text not never contact again.

Texting is used for the usual dross of life and general keeping in touch. If you have something important to say you ring or go and speak to them face to face.

southmum · 07/09/2011 09:33

there was no need for your nastiness towards your mum. The formality of your text makes you sound like a self important MD of a company who is being bothered by the office junior about how many reams of paper to order Hmm

Its not difficult, just turn your phone off when you dont want to be bothered or put it on silent

GloriaVanderbilt · 07/09/2011 09:35

You do actually sound really horrible.

Sn0wGoose · 07/09/2011 09:35

YABVU, and rude rude rude - I would be mortified if I spoke to my mother like that. Put the phone on silent if it bothers you, and be grateful she cares enough to text you at all.

Pinot · 07/09/2011 09:36

OP, taking the piss out of a spelling mistake isn't helping your cause you know. It's not showing you in the best light. Do you mean to sound so snarky?

SnakeOnCrack · 07/09/2011 09:38

Yabu, your poor mum.

Original poster
Bearcrumble · 07/09/2011 09:40

OK, I've phoned my mum and apologised and explained why I was snippy. The cat has rallied after steroid injections and is eating again so hopefully she'll be ok for the near future.

OP posts:
GloriaVanderbilt · 07/09/2011 09:42

well that's better than nothing.

I think you owe cantspel an apology too

Pinot · 07/09/2011 09:45

Oh good I'm so glad this didn't descend into a fight with all the posters saying YABU. Maybe it's the hormones Wink

Hope your cat is OK and your Mum feels better now.

JodieHarsh · 07/09/2011 09:47

Ooooo, I was all riled up and about to lay into you for being rude to The Woman Who Gave You Life and you've apologised already Grin

Hope the puss recovers.

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