to be really quite cross and embarrassed

[GodKeepsGiving]

A close friend who is an older mum trying to conceive again posted on her facebook page that she was 'six weeks and craving gummy worms..'. She suffered a miscarriage just before Christmas and I looked after her daughter and so I was quite closely involved, so I thought I would call her and offer congratulations - I was so pleased for her. Anyway, it turns out that it's one of these peculiarly encoded ways of supporting breast cancer, which is of course laudable, but I feel really embarrassed and a bit annoyed at being put in that position. She put the message on her page about 10 minutes ago and so I rang her feeling really excited ad happy for her. I feel really silly now. Is this unreasonable?

Valhalla, I absolutely grasp the significance of what your post and I'm so sorry that you had cancer. I also realise that this promotes awareness. However, to embarrass a close friend who is delighted at the apparent news of your pregnancy could be construed as a bit unkind. If she had emailed me some sort of notification about it I would have happily promoted the cause of breast cancer awareness but to randomly state that you are six weeks and craving gummy worms when the previous day you've hinted that you could be pregnant is at best a bit off. I do hope it makes women think about checking their breasts, but I honestly would never have thought of it in those terms.

Belledechoc, thank you for the explanation.

Wow, someone really didn't think this one through.

Oh how ridiculous!

We have quite a collection of cancers in our immediate and extended family so firstly, this isn't really amusing and secondly, I'm quite capable of supporting cancer charities without having to announce it to the world in this way.

I'd be embarrassed at updating my status like this!

Tbf though, I hadn't come across it before this thread anyway.

Belledechoc, thank you for explaining it, I understand now. I do hope it helps someone, but it's a bit cryptic. I think I'll put a pink ribbon for breast cancer on my status, at least it's a clear message.

I completely agree with you GKG and I'm damn sure that were it not for my own experience I'd be saying "Silly cow, thanks a lot, buddy!". I'm equally sure that a lot of other breast cancer survivors are furious with this FB thingy and are hurt and feeling that the disease is being made to look somehow trite. All I can say though is lets keep the ultimate message in mind and lets not be complacent about it.

Thank you for your kind words but without meaning to sound ungrateful there's no need lovey, this isn't about me but about trying to prevent other women from not falling into the false sense of security which I drifted into, if that makes sense.

:)

I hadn't seen this one, but I know I would have assumed the same thing from it, unless a lot of my friends had put it at the same time and given the game away.

I was sent this one in August, supposed to be supporting the same cause but with different wording, so if I had then seen the 6 weeks... one from just one friend it wouldn't have perhaps wouldn't have registered that it was the same awareness status because I was expecting to see a lot of this instead:

"Ok ladies it's that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! So we all remember last years game of writing bra color as your status?.....or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Well this year, it's slightly different. You need to write your shoe size,( just the number) followed by the word 'inches' and how long it takes to do your hair... Remember last year so many people took part it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status' mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part... now YOUR turn ! Go on ladies...and let's have all the males guessing!.............."

Valhalla, I will definitely put a pink ribbon on my facebook page. You are definitely right that women can easily slip into a false sense of security. With busy lives to lead it can be easy to neglect basic checks and I will try to clearly promote some sort of awareness. It's a good idea to have the message passed on in whatever way works for women but I think it's important that it is clearly given, otherwise it could be overlooked.

I've put on my FB status please don't ask me to do this and why. I'm 43 and do not want anyone thinking I'm up the duff thanks very much. The males I'd be 'keeping guessing' would be my DS and DB and several colleagues! But I have added a sentence or two about breast cancer awareness. Not that I really need to add anything about cancer awareness. We're far too aware unfortunately!

This stuff gets right on my tits.

Hester - I couldn't have said it better myself.

I agree with itsnearlysummer. I find it attention seeking and not for cancer awareness either, that particular 'campaign' is designed to make you think that the 'poster' is pregnant and for those who already have experience of cancer and/or aren't 'in on the joke', it's really not funny at all.

I'd much rather read Valhalla's straight post than this kind of tripe that is quite exclusive, you're either 'in the know' or not... and why shouldn't men be aware of breast cancer either? Silly, childish and attention-seeking... Urghh.

God, I hate Facebook slacktivism. I'm not sure how writing a stupid cryptic status raises awareness of cancer...and like you said Lyingwitch, why make it a game trying to exclude men? Men get breast cancer too.

I think this kind of thing potentially does more damage than it does good, as people feel like they have 'done something' towards a good cause, when actually they have done bugger all.

If you want to help breast cancer sufferers, then doing some volunteering or donating money would be a much better effort.
If you actually want to raise awareness of a cancer, pick one that people are largely unaware of. Everybody knows about breast cancer by now. Not everyone knows about urethral cancer.

It might also help if you post actual information about the cancer as well. Or even mentioned its name, that would be a start. Thinly-veiled allusions towards your sexuality won't help anyone.

Those things are really dumb.

I delete any FB friends who do these things or anything that says "90% of people wont copy this as their status to [insert worthy cause here]. Will you?"