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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A very naive, sweet, and innocent teacher in an inner city comp?

60 replies

SweetInnocent · 05/09/2011 13:42

Do you think it is possible for an innocent mid twenties teacher to teach PHSE/Citizenship in an inner city comp?

This person is lovely and kind, but has not experienced many of the things that the subject requires the pupils to discuss. The teacher for example is a virgin and has never had any alcohol. Or obviously cigarettes or drugs.

The teacher has a very sketchy knowledge of how babies are actually made and almost no knowledge of her own body mechanics.

She can't bear swearing or any coarse language and finds it very difficult to hear. She gets very embarrassed at talk of sex and any kind of sexual language.

This teacher has her own subject to teach but some responsibility for PHSE too. I'm not sure if I am being a bitch in thinking her inappropriate to teach these pupils, but this is a tough area and I'm not sure that she will have the respect needed.

I would love to be told that I am being simplistic and that a good teacher can overcome these things. I just always assumed (bad of me, I know) that these days a teacher needed to be a bit more 'down with the kids' IYSWIM.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 05/09/2011 14:08

My sil is a very good teacher and teaches at a comp that I believe is in quite a rough area. My sil is religious, has never taken drugs or smoked. She only has the odd drink and takes a very dim view on swearing.

I always thought she might get eater alive but apparently she is as hard as nails with the kids, is strict on discipline and takes no prisoners.

I have no idea if she has to do any pshe but if she does I'm sure she's perfectly competent even without having taken drugs herself, etc.

EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 14:08

Having worked with naughty teenagers in group settings, I know how they can be. You need to be assertive to stop them from winding you right up, especially the young men as they test out their 'sexual intimidation' techniques on you...Goodness me, if I had been a delicate flower I think I'd have spent much of the time in the toilets crying. A young woman working with teenage boys needs to be tough. They will gang up, they will make sexualised remarks, they will try to embarrass you. You may get propositioned for real. You need to be able to handle yourself. What is more - if she's going to be dealing with issues of sex and relationships she needs to be upfront and matter of fact. Yes it's embarrassing talking to teenagers about foreskins, or orgasms, or what lesbians do (yes really) but if you blush or stammer they will not trust you, and you will teach nothing.

biddysmama · 05/09/2011 14:09

i went to catholic school, 2 girls had babies before we left and 3 were pregnant.

edam · 05/09/2011 14:09

She sounds like the wrong person to be teaching PHSE - surely ignorance of the basic mechanics of the human body is a bit of a problem with that particular subject?

Poor woman, I bet the kids can smell fear and round on her...

VivaLeBeaver · 05/09/2011 14:09

I'm guessing you teach in this school and she's just started and you don't think she will cut it?

scrambedeggs · 05/09/2011 14:10

depends, is she a good teacher who can control a class properly? If kids see a chink in the armour, they will be straight in there and she wont last 2 minutes

reallytired · 05/09/2011 14:10

Oh honestly you don't need to have sex to know how babies are made. Christians aren't stupid and this woman must have passed her teacher training.

I met some people who have plenty of sex and clearly have no concept of family planning. I met a woman who was a single mother and had 4 children under 3 by different fathers. She made the comment that she wasn't quite sure how this had all happened.

maypole1 · 05/09/2011 14:10

i think this is a troll thread the bashful and shy don't often put themselves up for sex ed and in dangerous minds type school no less.

scrambedeggs · 05/09/2011 14:11

Yep, she went to a small uni and really only had contact with people she met at a christian group

she would have had to participate in group activities in the tutorials/lectures as well as role play and whatnot. You cant go to university and remain a single entity

Original poster

SweetInnocent · 05/09/2011 14:14

Nope, not a troll. I don't work in the school either, like I said upthread, I am in training. This is very interesting for me though as it helps understand what is expected of a teacher. I have witnessed her getting excrutiatingly embarrassed talking to two female peers about sex/ gynae issues so was amazed that she had got the job if I'm honest. But like I also said upthread, she must have demonstrated to excellent skills at her interviews(s) so good on her and I really hope she can cut it. I don't wish her any harm, I am just a bit worried TBH about the things that Eric mentions.

OP posts:

Whatmeworry · 05/09/2011 14:15

Perversely, IMO someone with strong beliefs and confidence to stand by them may do very well on this sort of topic.

Original poster

SweetInnocent · 05/09/2011 14:16

Good point, whatmeworry.

OP posts:

LaWeasel · 05/09/2011 14:24

I don't think it matters if she's inexperienced herself (you don't have to have sex to know how contraception works after all), and in a way whatever the foundation for her belief in NOT having sex (besides religion) might be a useful PoV for the kids.

I do think that if she blushes and hides her face and doesn't know how basic things like tampons work she sounds like she will struggle in that particular role though.

I'm sure it will work itself out though, maybe she will prep like a demon and once she is confident in her knowledge of everything relevant to the course the confidence she needs will come with that. Or she'll pick a different specialism.

JodieHarsh · 05/09/2011 14:25

Now then. I am at risk of outing myself here.

I was brought up in a Christian sect. My upbringing can out-innocent anything you have ever seen or read anywhere. I promise you. It was like being brought up in 1896.

I honestly cannot CONCEIVE (pardon the pun) of someone not knowing the basics of sex education. I was brought up with no telly, no radio except R3, and only ever really mingling with people from the same very, very, very old fashioned and strict church (essentially benevolent by the way) and we all knew about the theoreticals, even if some ALL of us were virgins until marriage.

Consequently I can say that a) her naivete has nothing to do with her faith, b) this is a plot for a novel or film treatment, c) she was pulling your leg, or d) you mishead.

Either way, I wouldn't worry about her. Devout Christians tend to have surprisingly big hairy balls. When you belive the Almighty is personally tending to your every movement, it does give you courage

exoticfruits · 05/09/2011 14:25

If she is managing to teach her own subject in a tough school then I am sure that she will be OK. If she is already failing with her own subject she doesn't stand a chance. Is she able to effectively teach her own subject?

Original poster

SweetInnocent · 05/09/2011 14:29

Exotic, I have no idea, this is her first post. Its not a film script no. She is just super naive. Maybe she is just embarrassed rather than it having anything to do with her religious upbringing. I will see how she gets on. Hopefully, well.

OP posts:

hoovercraft · 05/09/2011 14:30

I was a virgin when I was a teacher in my mid twenties. Didnt make me any less of a teacher.

BalloonSlayer · 05/09/2011 14:39

"the bashful and shy don't often put themselves up for sex ed "

PHSE/Citizenship is often taught by the form teacher of each form, whose main subject could be anything else - sport, biology, tech, RE - anything.

PHSE is not sex ed, but could cover sexual matters, ie morals and ethics.

qwepoi · 05/09/2011 14:39

I haven't ever encountered a trainee teacher (PGCE) having to do PSHE so early in the year and I doubt that at this stage she has 'responsibility' for it. There are lots of other bits of PSHE so maybe she is doing those bits. However if she is uncomfortable she should simply refuse to do it - saying it isn't her subject and she doesn't feel qualified. I refused to drive school minibuses for the same reason.

exoticfruits · 05/09/2011 14:40

She obviously feels she can do it-quite possibly she can.

qwepoi · 05/09/2011 14:40

Also PSHE is often just done in form time, couple of worksheets from the rather useful resource books. Ticking boxes for the kids and the school!

Cereal · 05/09/2011 14:59

YABU. I'm afraid you seem a little prejudiced against this person. It's not a crime to be a teacher who is a virgin, Christian and doesn't swear! There are many excellent teachers with one or more of those characteristics. All teachers are different, which benefits the students far more than if all teachers had the same personality. She may well be fine, and if she isn't then she can learn, which is what all teachers do in one way or another.

HeifferunderConstruction · 05/09/2011 15:08

PHSE seems an odd subject for a teetotaller (especially sex)

Pippaandpolly · 05/09/2011 15:13

She'll either get over her embarrassment quickly, or she won't and she'll hate it (but it won't kill her) or she's not as naive as you think and will be fine. I've taught PSHE (though English is my subject) and have had some crackers of questions...my favourites were 'How old were you when you lost your virginity miss?', 'But where do gay men PUT it?' and 'Doesn't giving bjs make your mouth ache if it goes on a bit?'...! You have to have the confidence to answer as honestly but appropriately as you can. Some questions are cheeky but most are genuine, especially if they feel they're in a safe place to ask without getting laughed at/told off etc. I reckon your friend will do better than you expect - if she's really as naive as you say then she'll have to do lots of lesson prep and will be learning herself, so will probably be very honest and upfront with the kids which they'll appreciate.

qwepoi · 05/09/2011 15:14

pippa - got to ask - how did you answer?

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