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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask the lodger not to use the living room?

81 replies

EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 09:32

I have a spare room and have advertised it to rent. I set the rent deliberately cheap for several reasons - to get interest quickly and also in order to find someone who won't mind not having the use of the living room. I said in the ad that they would be free to use it when I wasn't there (not very often! Apart from daytime). I also set notice period at one week. A guy has called (twice) and emailed and sounds very keen. He has a new job within walking distance and at the rent I'm asking he will be able to save a fair proportion.
He's coming over to meet us and see the room later. So AIBU to make it clear the rent is for the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom only? I don't want to be rude but I don't want a flatmate!

OP posts:
wordsonapage · 05/09/2011 15:23

Why no smoking just in the day ?

I in my yewt spent many happy years in various bedsits/ flatshare and it sounds fine to me

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 15:41

H smokes inside in the evening after DS goes to bed, so I can't really say no smoking. If it got disgusting I would have a word. H smokes roll ups and often smokes outside anyway so it doesn't stink out the house.

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 05/09/2011 15:56

I once rented a room and had believed it would be more of a shared house arrangement than a lodger arrangement (didn't know there was a difference at the time), but I was only there 6 months in the end as I moved in with DP.

Think as long as you make it clear what the rules are it's fine. With me it was more implied and just felt uncomfortable.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 05/09/2011 15:57

You need to say when in advance. Eg. 'in advance, the friday of the preceding week' ... unless you want it to turn up in dribs and drabs.

You need a notice period for both of you.

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 16:07

I was assuming he'd pay the day he moves in, then every (eg) saturday onwards...
yes have added about notice period now.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 05/09/2011 16:14

You get the tax break with a lodger, ie you rarely pay tax on the income.

I think a lodging-bedroom-only set up is fine if it's spelled out that that's why the deal is so cheap. This guy might want to accept, but look round for a house-share anyway. I presume that it's a week's notice either way?

As long as his bedroom has a bed, a comfy chair, and he can have his own TV, he should manage at least while he finds his feet in his new job.

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 19:27

Well he was very happy with the arrangement and I'm going to call him tomorrow to confirm. :)

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 05/09/2011 19:38

I wouldn't let him have the computer, OP. Surely he'd have a laptop if he needed to use a computer?

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 20:53

He has a laptop so I'll move the PC. It's an ancient model that we don't use, hence why it's in the spare room!

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 05/09/2011 21:26

Oh, good to hear! Smile

Hope he's a pleasant addition to your house.

ExitPursuedByATroll · 05/09/2011 21:45

I lodged when I first started work in London. I stayed in my room or went out. I did not use the living room unless invited to by my landlord when he wanted someone to share his homemade wine with. It worked perfectly. I even moved house with him.

ChippingIn · 05/09/2011 21:57

It sounds just fine to me and I would have been more than happy with the arrangement - sounds like he is too. I hope it works out well for you.

I would say 'No smoking' and get DH onside to smoke outside, but I'm an avid anti smoker!!

I do have to say though, I don't think it's better than a bedsit - I'd rather have a bedsit, but if it was cheaper then that would be OK.

Had to Grin at 'ghastly'

junkcollector · 05/09/2011 22:08

Unless I missed it you haven't specified whether bills are included or not. Phone, water, elec etc

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 22:13

Bills included apart from phone. Wifi included :)

OP posts:
fluffles · 05/09/2011 22:19

where can he eat his dinner? is there a table in the kitchen? i wouldn't like to eat in my bedroom sitting on my bed...

if there's no eating table in the kitchen then you'd need to give a table in the bedroom i think (even then i would be put off by just that bit).

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 22:26

There's a desk in the bedroom, ok to eat at. Anyway he's fine with it.

OP posts:
LemonDifficult · 05/09/2011 22:29

I'd up the deposit to £150.

A1980 · 05/09/2011 22:37

Threads like this make me realise I made he right decision to move back home with my mum after I split up with my DP. I couldn't afford private rent and bills alone and didn't have the money for a deposit on a house.

It may be said for a woman of my age to live with parents but I have the run of the house as she does.

How ghastly to have to live, eat and sleep in one room.

Original poster
EricNorthmansMistress · 05/09/2011 22:42

How ghastly to have to live, eat and sleep in one room.

Grin whatever. I've lived in a studio flat the size of this bedroom. I had my kitchen bin 3 metres from my bed. It wasn't ghastly, it was just what I could afford. To me, living back with my parents would be ghastly.

It might not be the way you would choose to live your life but plenty of people do. I didn't think I was being unreasonable to start with, the replies on here have confirmed that. So the couple of posters who think I'm an unfriendly caaah are just wrong. Grin

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByATroll · 05/09/2011 22:42

That would be a bedsit then A1980 Grin

ExitPursuedByATroll · 05/09/2011 22:43

I would have hated to have been expected to sit in the living room with my landlord every evening. Now that would have been ghastly.

cat64 · 05/09/2011 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SouthernFriedTofu · 05/09/2011 22:58

Its nto ghastly if you know what you are getting or actually want to be left on your own!Some people value their privacy. I would have taken it.

LittleMissFlustered · 06/09/2011 00:29

Sounds like bliss to be fair. If I had no kids and was working it's the kind of setup I would go for.

Hope it works out well for you :)

zipzap · 06/09/2011 01:04

Think you need to change the Internet use to something along the lines of reasonable Internet use - you don't want to discover that he spends all his time online downloading lots of big files that mean you get stung with excessive use charges by your ISP that wipe out your profits.

Likewise can you put something in there about reasonable electricity use - you don't want to discover as my dh did that you get stung by a huge electric bill because inconsiderate other person on the house kept an expensive fan heater on full heat full time regardless of whether he was in the room or not because he always wanted it to be warm and cost for him regardless of the cost (he didn't have any money to pay for it so didn't care and expected the others to pay). Only difference was when he was in he would have the heater on full and the window open as that was how he liked it when he was there.

I'd also think of any other things where you might want to stick in reasonable type clauses so you have something to fall back on if there are any problems, so:
keeping the kitchen tidy and not leaving unwashed dishes etc.
Space in the fridge.
Frequency of washing or times when it is good/bad to use the machine - you don't want to do an urgent wash only to find his wash just started.
Reserve the right to access his room if you think there might be a problem - be it a fire from smoking or candles or nasty smells.
Access to bathroom times if there's likely to be a busy time - you don't want to discover he or you has just run a nice soaky bath and other person needs to get in quick for shower before work. Or that they have used all the hot water having a 30 minute shower.
Ban drugs on the premises - even if you don't mind him smoking the odd joint or whatever if there's a problem down the line you can show that they are nothing to do with you.

Can you get hold of one of those energy monitors and see if your energy usage goes up significantly with him there, in which case reserve the right to add another fiver or whatever onto the bill for additional utilities used.

Does he need to have his own insurance or is he covered on yours? And are you still covered on yours with a lodger?

Anything about guests, noise levels etc...

And about sticking things to Walls or painting or moving furniture around?

Sorry if this all sounds negative but it's to try to make sure that you cover yourself, most of the time there shouldn't be a problem.

And excuse hasty list, I should be asleep by now!

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