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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I could literally eat my own head

22 replies

sundayrose10 · 01/09/2011 13:34

DC with ex from yesterday. Ex knew to bring DC back today by 10am. Ex is now refusing because he forgot and I should chill out. He is out of the area so he says (liar liar pants on fire)I have things to do with DC as school starts tomorrow.

AIBU to think you can never really move on with your life with ex until DC becomes an adult?

It is so shit as I am on annual leave today and I have things to do with DC. His phone is off now. I could kick this man in the throat simply because he is wind up merchant.

God knows what time I will get my child back. If I do today

OP posts:

StrandedBear · 01/09/2011 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayano · 01/09/2011 14:02

It's not to do with the face te DC are not adults yet,
It's to do with the fact your ex is a tool and an inconsiderate bleep

He is totally at fault

mummymccar · 01/09/2011 14:31

I know it probably seems a bit dramatic but I agree with StrandedBear - he hasn't returned your child at the time specified by your custody agreement and has now turned off his phone. Completely unacceptable for any reason though I'm sure he is just trying to wind you up rather than actually kidnap DC. Leave him a voicemail stating that he hasn't returned your child as agreed and that he has an hour to return him/her and that if he doesn't you'll be contacting the police. An hour later phone the police if you haven't heard from him. It'll piss him off but you'll have warned him, it'll be his own fault and I doubt he'll do it again.
Childish man. Well done you for being as calm as you are.

RedOnion · 01/09/2011 17:00

I agree, do call the police. I did the same to my arsehole ex when he refused to return my daughter years ago.

Original poster

sundayrose10 · 01/09/2011 17:33

I think I might. Child still not returned.

OP posts:

CurrySpice · 01/09/2011 17:36

I think the police will give you short shrft tbh. The child is with his father.

Not that I don't agree with you OP that it is extremely irritating

Jodianna · 01/09/2011 17:46

The child has been 'missing' for eight hours, the police have to take it seriously.

CurrySpice · 01/09/2011 17:52

But he's not missing. He's out with his father. His other parent.

And no matter how annoying and inconvenuient and downright arseholery it is (and I agree it is) I think the police won't want to know tbh

readywithwellies · 01/09/2011 17:57

Just add the additional
Hours up. Then don't take dc for those hours on next visit.

MugglesandLuna · 01/09/2011 18:07

The police wont do anything - the child hasnt been 'kidnapped' at all.

I hope he brings him home soon OP.

SouthernFriedTofu · 01/09/2011 18:10

There was a thread last month where the child was sort of kidnapped by the NRP, and police would do fuck all even though the NRP didn't have rights to be alone with the child due to alchool abuse I belive because the mother "allowed" it to heppen. She didn't she left the child at his grandparents.

StrandedBear · 01/09/2011 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkytheshrinky · 01/09/2011 18:24

I have been in this situation with my ex a few years ago - the only reason the police became involved is because he did not have a court order for visitation - if the father does have one it is a lot more of a grey are. He is not refusing to return the child - he is just being an arse and not sure the Police will be willing to become involved

sjuperwolef · 01/09/2011 18:29

my sister and bil live together but when bil tried to take dn in the middle of town, police were called and dn was returned to my sister within the hour - as mother she is automatic resident parent even tho they are both on his bc and live together.

phone the police i say.

Gonzo33 · 01/09/2011 18:31

Unless you have a contact order signed off by the court specifiying times then the Police won't have the power to do anything unfortunately as the DC are with their parent.

Pants, I know.

sjuperwolef · 01/09/2011 18:34

just thought, we're in scotland our laws regarding things like this are different. my first post may be of no use to you sorry, hope he returns your boy soon.

mummymccar · 01/09/2011 19:18

Any luck yet OP?

spiderpig8 · 01/09/2011 19:24

I don't think you could literally eat your own head.In fact I know you couldn't

Original poster

sundayrose10 · 01/09/2011 20:15

Thanks all. Child is back home now. What an eventful day. We are both going to sleep soon. I can't believe how draining today has been.

He brought DC back about 7pm. Coward stayed in his car.

OP posts:

Original poster

sundayrose10 · 01/09/2011 20:16

Again, thanks all.

OP posts:

mummymccar · 01/09/2011 20:36

Glad she is back now. I think readywithwellies made a good point about deducting these hours from next visit. What an awful thing to do to you. Hope DC isn't too upset about it all. Best wishes.

CurrySpice · 01/09/2011 20:47

God how annoying and stressful and all so bloody unecessary. What an arsehole (ex not you OP!)

Glad he's back safe and sound

sjuperwolef - I don't understand your scenario with your DN. The BiL tried to "take" her? I don't understand that if they are still together

gonzo not ever separated / divorced couple have court orders in place. I believe that most couples agree access / visits etc between themselves with no courts involved. I know we did.

Flip