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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be feeling physically sick at the thought restarting the school run tomorrow

53 replies

cuteboots · 31/08/2011 12:17

It strikes fear into my very core and Im not looking forward to it at all does anyone else feel the same or have any tips to help combat this?

OP posts:
CalmaLlamaDown · 31/08/2011 13:06

YANBU

Ds off to reception next week and i am scared of being intimidated or ignored by the alpha mummies at the school gates however i was blissfully ignorant of such issues before finding mumsnet, hmmm

Vallhala · 31/08/2011 13:08

Nod, smile and walk on.

It worked for me. :)

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 31/08/2011 13:20

I'm glad it's not just me who dumps and runs - sometimes literally - in order to avoid chatting. I also get to the playground at the very last minute for pick up. Thankfully as I work I only do the school run twice a week, so it's not too bad. Parties are a nightmare for me, as I'm crap at small talk and all the other mums are in their 'groups' so I just sit and watch, praying for the 2 hours to be done. I have social anxiety and for me it's just one of those things.

Original poster
cuteboots · 31/08/2011 13:38

softkittywarmkitty- Im starting to think I have the social anxiety thing going on as I also hate the small talk and Im not good at it either.

Porcamiseria-I hate that word but it does clearly sum up some of the same feelings I have about the situation! ha ha ha.

OP posts:
SiamoFottuti · 31/08/2011 13:42

no, we don't all experience this. Most of us are normal average grown ups, who take our children to school and may or may not casually chat to other parents. Thats kind of it.

aquashiv · 31/08/2011 13:49

Nothing wrong with being sociable and nice to people. You can tell the parents who are blatently hating the expereince of picking up children they wont even make eye contact let alone God forbid smile.
People are bloody miserable t hese days. Ofcourse people are going to have friendship groups but if more smiled and made an effort you might find they are just like you..

Original poster
cuteboots · 31/08/2011 13:51

siamofottuti- I would consider myself normal and average but thanks for the comment!

OP posts:
SiamoFottuti · 31/08/2011 13:54

then just take your kid to school. It's not compulsory to speak to anyone and I very much doubt anyone notices, let alone cares.

Good luck. Smile

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 13:59

lol if you dont like wags at schoolgate you wont like pta clique - more politics but they feel entitled to brate you for a cake or some such shite to sell at fayre

drop and go that what regular folk do

keepingupwiththejoneses · 31/08/2011 14:01

My DS has asd and takes a bus to school as do all the other children in his school. I would love to do the school run again!

MissMap · 31/08/2011 14:11

I am so grateful that I am no longer obliged to do the school run.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 14:14

i pay someone else to do it

BarmyBiscuit · 31/08/2011 14:18

I'm starting it for the first time next week and I'm dreading it. Only nursery though. Can't believe I'm about to start the school run. My sister has told me horror stories so maybe that's my problem.

ASByatt · 31/08/2011 14:24

I really feel that some of you are putting too much thought into this.

It doesn't have to be such a big deal - surely it only becomes such a big deal if you let it? Confused

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 14:27

those wags can do withering looks and clique that does render otherwise capable women to feel insecure.i hear all the stories from other mums

Feminine · 31/08/2011 14:35

I forced myself to talk/get to know almost all the parents in the playground...I was particularly attracted to the ones that shot me dirty looks previously!

It was a fantastic experience...most parents are really cool... I made friends and so did my eldest son.

I did this for a reason.

When I was a little girl my Mum was intimidated and hurt by some cliquey bitchy Mums in the playground,I was never going to dread every morning like she did.

Unfortunately Humans do tend to judge each other by how we look,making assumptions and grouping people.

I know I have done it.Blush

I have a look about me that (in repose) looks a bit bitchy ...I wanted to dispel any opinions that parents might make about me (without knowing me at all)
The school runcan be hell...this was my way of icing the situation:)

Pendeen · 31/08/2011 15:37

It's not so much the drop off that I find a problem as collecting when sometimes they are late ending class or DD lingers a bit too long. Then it's sometimes difficult because there is a very strong witches coven at our primary, mostly the 4x4 set who don't live here. :(

I'm grateful that the school is now popular because the county considered closing it a few years ago due to falling numbers but at the expense it not being a true village school any more.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2011 15:41

cant have it both ways.village only=low roll and closure
or expand and include out of villagers.so yes as you say a mixed blessing
but yes the wags in chelsea tractors are funny

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/08/2011 16:30

I have done school run on and off, at three different schools and have never encountered all this bitchiness and hostility reported on MN.

Sure, there are groups of women who are particularly friendly with each other, who stand around after the bell to chat, but it would not occur to me that they were 'a coven'.

I smile, they smile, I drop dd and go to work.
I think some of you are over sensitive and a bit paranoid.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/08/2011 16:34

'BUT some school mummies are cunts, and it does amaze me that they make me feel uncomfy despite generally enagaging elsewhere'

' I could write pages of bitchy rants about why I did not like the mummies'

It actually sounds like you're the one with the issues.

mrsgboring · 31/08/2011 17:46

Some of the bile some of you are heaping on people who actually like to erm talk on the school run, it's no wonder those folk don't want to talk to you!

wordfactory · 31/08/2011 18:15

See I have never ever had a problem with stopping and chatting to the other parents. I have made quite a few great friends at the school gates, and many numbers of aquaintances.

On days when I'm in a rush I might not bother, and if it's raining I just push DC out of the car. Nowt to get stressed about.

TheCrackFox · 31/08/2011 18:29

Stop being so bloody wet. You are overthinking the whole thing.

Talk to people if you like, ignore them if you prefer as no one actually gives a stuff either way.
.
A group of women chatting to each other is not a "covern" or "clique" but a group of friends having a quick chat. Radical, I know.

Feminine · 31/08/2011 18:38

crackfox I understand what you are getting at ...but the playground is full of little groups...

Sometimes they do exclude ...for a friendly but shy person this can be intimidating.

I know more people are friendly than not ,however...

there is a vulnerability attached, especially in the early years...we drop our children there and want all aspects to run smoothly.

pointydog · 31/08/2011 18:40

Agree with crack.

Other people are far more bothered about themselves than they are with you.