(possibly a bit feministy...) To get annoyed when posters compare people here to playground bullies etc.?

[LeBOF]

I find the choice of phrase irritating, and the accusation generally unfounded.

When men disagree and are twatty and rude on websites, they are just Doing The Internet.

When it's women behaving in the same way, somebody ALWAYS compares them to Queen Bees at school, or bullying bjitches or whatever...it pisses me off beyond belief, and I find myself mentally deducting credibility points from anybody who uses the word "playground", usually with the breathless anticipation of being commended for their startlingly original and incisive social observation. It is a really tired and over-used comparison.

And it NEVER gets said about men, only women. So it's sexist as well as crap.

I am illing and taking to my bed for a bit, but I want you to tell me if I am being grumpy and unreasonable, or if you know what I mean and saying it should be banned as the metaphor of dullards. TIA...

Is there a script? Why did I never get a script when i joined?

Bloody bullies.

I like that you are 'illing' in your OP.

You are straight up gangsta yo!

Although the term bullying may be a bit overused and an alternative term for disagreeing I sometimes find the way in which posters word their responses a little aggressive. I'm no wallflower but I wonder if people would be quite as forthright if they were face to face. If not then maybe keeping bitchy or snidy remarks to oneself may be the best form. Yes I'm sure I will be attacked for saying that but I don't come on this site to be bitchy or aggressive to anyone. I come on here for interesting and helpful advice and if I don't have any to offer I don't bother posting. Isn't life much nicer that way?

Bullying tag ridiculous for what usually amounts to a disagreement!

I've said this before and I'll say it again, mumsnet is a lot like the early internet, so lots of this type of robust interaction was the norm back in the 90's. However, now there are so many forums, especially parenting ones, that are moderated or heavily moderated that it must seem strange and threatening to some people that there isn't some big brother to step in. It's assumed we're adults!

gone are the days of the "bulling" thread! That one had me in stitches

I do miss a good "fuck off, cuntychops". Far too much deleting going on these days.

I have only been a member for a few months but haven't seen any bullying. Lots of people disagreeing with a post in a forthright manner is not bullying.

Then again, I've just been accused of being a troll for daring to disagree with a couple of posters, go me!

I have seen plenty of men being called bullies so YABU.

Yanbu. It is so tiresome. But I'm sure Mumsnet, like any other forum, just generally loses its allure when you've been on it a number of years. Have said it before Boffy, and I'll say it again (not scared of a good cliche, me ) - we are the new moldies.

I am over the moon that you agree, Bibs

At the end of the day I love you Boffy.

CCCCLLLLLIIIIIIIQQQQQUUUUEEEEEE.

I used to use another large parenting forum (one of the pink shiny ones) and I generally assume that some of the more hysterical "OMG I can't believe you said that you bully" type posters are day-trippers from that or another similar forum.

It's horses for courses really. If you don't want robust disagreement or blunt advice then don't use MN/AIBU. If you just want to vent and get a load of "aw, there there" type responses then find a forum where that is the culture.

For what it's worth, the other forum had one of the worst-hidden undercurrents of back-stabby bitchiness that I have seen. The moderators jumped in at the first sign of anyone disagreeing with anyone else (unless the person being disagreed with had dared to express an opinion that wasn't completely in keeping with the accepted One Way of Doing Things for that forum - then it was open season for them to be given a good kicking) and so most of the nastiness was done through tickers or those signature things.

So you started off with signatures saying things like "Mummyhunnyboo1286, proud mum to Tom (8), Dick (3) and Harry (2 months)", and then as factions began to emerge this would change to "Mummyhunnyboo1286, proudly FFing my happy, healthy little bubba, Harry". Another couple of abortive disagreements and you would have "Mummyhunnyboo1286, proudly FFing because I choose to", followed by a massive list of other views, mainly with pointed little digs at anyone with an alternative view.

There was one regular poster who ammended her signature every time she had a disagreement with anyone, and then inevitably contradicted herself in some post, had this pointed out and amended her signature again. She finished up with something like "Mummyhunnyboo, lucky mum to BobbyBoo. FFing because I chose to after trying BFing and it not working out but probably would have chosen FFing anyway as there is nothing wrong with it each to their own, proudly using a forward-facing pram because I want to and because it is better for my child and they didn't have any rear-facing ones at the shop and I can't use a sling because I have a bad back, unable to use cloth nappies as I don't have a tumble dryer not that they are that good anyway so proud to use disposables, against co-sleeping for safety reasons although will enjoy co-sleeping in the mornings in a properly controlled environment, willing to consider using CIO and actually did once and my bubs is fine although nothing wrong with attachment parenting and I actually do lots of that stuff anyway".

It got a bit ridiculous!

I would far rather have someone come right out and say "I don't agree with that" than have to wade through pink, flashing tickerland to find out what someone really thinks behind all the "we're all friends here, hun" posts.

yes, I have come across DigitalSpy on on my internet travels. And the BBC used to have message boards in every region. But they closed the system down. To save money I suppose.

Now I really, really, really want a signature thing. What larks!

[hmmm] i would call a man a bully in that context too