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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it really was NOT my fault and I'm allowed to be upset!

28 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/08/2011 22:08

At sils for the evening a few days ago, when suddenly we smell burning.

Turns out dd had turned all the hobs on, dp had placed my bag (which I'd left on the hall floor with our shoes) onto said hob, and sil had turned the oven cut off on instead of the plug next to it.

Cue dp running outside with flaming bag.

Dp rapidly empties my bag, well the 'baby bag' so dds new shoes, cameras, clothes etc are inside, my beautiful wallaboo bag I'd had four years has a massive hole right through it, taking with it two whole outfits of dds, one converse, my camera charger and numerous daft handbag bits.

I go into house to help sil clean her hob and open windows etc, cue dp storming into the house calling me stupid, "why the fuck would u leave this in there really" swear shout stamp.

How silly of my to place my full memory card from my camera into a small zipped pocket in MY bag whilst out so I could pop an empty one in, I just cried. He sayes its my own fault.

AIBU to think in fact its not, yes it was an accident but why the actual fuck did he put bag which spends 99% of the time on the floor on a cooker hob!!!!

OP posts:
Empusa · 30/08/2011 22:10

Definitely not your fault. What idiot thinks an oven is good place to store things?!

bonnieslilsister · 30/08/2011 22:12

It was an accident and you are both upset and are blaming each other but it is not your fault at all, either of you. Accidents happen, especially with little people around! xx

FloraPost · 30/08/2011 22:12

Yup, his fault. He owes you a huge grovelling apology as well as a new bag.

jasper · 30/08/2011 22:13

He is being massively unreasonable for
a) putting your bag on the hob
b) blaming you.

but count your blessings.Could have burned down the house

Vicky2011 · 30/08/2011 22:15

Unless we're missing a huge bit of info here, it is definitely NOT your fault!

groak · 30/08/2011 22:15

yanbu:

your dp is embarrassed because it was at hs family's house and he was the one who put the bag on the hob so decides to detract from the fact he's cocked up by going macho and yelling.

He really needs to apologise. and buy new bag.

inatrance · 30/08/2011 22:16

YANBU, obviously his fault!

YouDoTheMath · 30/08/2011 22:16

Has he given you an explanation as to why placing a handbag on a cooker hob seemed like a good idea?

Has he accepted his responsibility for the part he played in this?

If not, you need to sit him down and explain to him in simple words that he might understand.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/08/2011 22:16

Don't get me wrong I'm so relieved. My nephew was asleep upstairs and we see ourselves out the front and they were off to bed. Could have been bad! Just devastated I've lost over 1000 pics of ds birthday, family wedding etc :( wouldn't cut so deep if I hadn't already lost 2yrs of photos when my pc crashed and my handbag was stolen in one day when I was off printing pics

OP posts:
ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 30/08/2011 22:17

Not your fault and he owes you an apology.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/08/2011 22:20

He has appolagised since i showed him this thread I explained I was innocent.

The hob thing is on going he does it at home and really annoys me! Why. Just why? Atleast at sils its right next to the door so almost makes sense. He checked it was off so couldn't see why it was a bad place to put it, I know food doesn't touch the hob itself but still..

OP posts:
TheEarlOfDoncaster1963 · 30/08/2011 22:22

Ugh, what a pain, esp. to lose precious photos. Can you upload them to your computer more often now, just in case? i try to do it at least once a month and then if I'm feeling really paranoid I burn them onto CDs.

Definitely your DHs fault! but an accident too - but totally out of order to blame you.

MsHighwater · 30/08/2011 22:22

Things which can burn should never, under any circumstances whatsoever, be placed on a cooker hob. OTOH, the proper place for a thing that needs to be carried is inside a tool for carrying things (i.e. a bag).

ThePopsicleKat · 30/08/2011 22:30

Why would he move a bag of valuables onto the HOB? YANBU.

MrsRhettButler · 30/08/2011 22:33

Why would anyone put anything that isn't a pot on a hob? Really, I need to know?

PfftTheMagicDraco · 30/08/2011 22:35

I would say that it is his fault.

Not an accident at all.

You do not put items on top of a hob, they can easily be turned on unintentionally.

MrBloomsNursery · 30/08/2011 22:35

I think it's your DD's fault for turning the hobs on....how old is she? Was she disciplined for doing this? My DD is 3 and still doesn't know how to turn on the hobs.

Sirzy · 30/08/2011 22:38

Yanbu although I agree with pp about your daughter being able to turn it on!

warthog · 30/08/2011 22:39

well your dd shouldn't have turned the hob on.

but he is an idiot for putting anything on the hob other than culinary objects.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/08/2011 22:40

She is two, severe words were had but she's never ever touched ours, sil thinks it may have been her ds before bed as it was off at the wall we would have been none the wiser, he's only 12mnths btw. Dd said she did touch it but I'm not entirely sure she understood what was being asked.

OP posts:
TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 30/08/2011 22:41

Just an unfortunate combination of events.

Your daughter should not have turned the hob on
Someone should have noticed what she had done / was doing
Your husband should have noticed that the hob was on when putting your bag on the cooker
Your husband shouldn't be putting your bag on the bloody cooker!

And I should be 5ft10 and a size 8 with perky breasts.

troisgarcons · 30/08/2011 22:42

From your OP : a few days ago

Aww you all upset and out of attention?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 30/08/2011 22:45

Not fair. Loss of photos is awful, I'd be upset days after as well, week, months after actually.

warthog · 30/08/2011 22:45

that's a bit uncalled for.

AlfalfaMum · 30/08/2011 22:54

The main problem here is that your dp thinks it's acceptable to shout abuse at you and call you stupid; do you put up with that?