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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my friend is wrong and I am NOT on benefits?

50 replies

NickNacks · 30/08/2011 18:17

OK so short story is I am a childminder and one or more of my parents receive Tax credits help towards their childcare costs. Therefore i am given the money from tax credits as payment for my services. My husband and i do not receive tax credits or anything else besides child benefit. I guess this could be classed as a benefit but is not the point my friend is making.

Am i right in thinking i am not 'on benefits' even though i do receive this money eventually?

Will give more info if needed but trying to keep it short and sweet. I'd really like to know what you think as i ended up getting quite cross with her yesterday!

OP posts:

Moominsarescary · 30/08/2011 18:50

Just tell your friend she's stupid and leave it at that

Feminine · 30/08/2011 18:54

I think your friend is being obtuse.

She is trying to claim that you are indirectly benefitting from a system that is set up to help parents...through tax credits.

Crazy logic...best avoid her fruitcake behaviour in the future! :)

AuntiePickleBottom · 30/08/2011 18:58

in that logic, i am frauding the NHS and banking money each month ( i work for the NHS)

CadleCrap · 30/08/2011 19:05

By her logic I must be self -employed.....

I am a public-sector worker. I am a tax payer. Tax payers pay my wages. Therfore I pay my own wages, therefore must be self employed

TotemPole · 30/08/2011 19:12

What a strange point of view your friend has.

Original poster

NickNacks · 30/08/2011 19:12

I'm beginning to think she knew she wasn't right but was having a dig. Money comes up a lot in our conversations and it always ends up being a competition, from who has the biggest credit card bill to how much our DH's earn. All from her side but i must stop getting into the spiral and feeding the witch friend as i know where it always ends up!

OP posts:

bubblesincoffee · 30/08/2011 19:13

OP, is your friend usually quite thick? Of course you aren't on benefits.

Mightimama Tax credits are benefits, they are just given a poncier name. People are entiled to JSA, Income support, Carers allowance, they are still benefits.

catgirl1976 · 30/08/2011 19:26

Your friend sounds odd - why does she care for a start?

And as everyone else has said you are not recieving "benefits" you are being paid a "wage" which is different.

You say she bangs on about how much her DH earns? Does she work? Am wondering if she is a bit jealous you earn a wage and she doesn't perhaps? Although how what her husband earns is any positive reflection on her beats me (unless she considers his money her wage for... something?)

Tax credits are benefits though - they are means tested for starters but you are not recieving them as benefit you are being paid a wage by other people who recieve that benefit.

Greythorne · 30/08/2011 19:30

So if one of your parents was a sex worker and paid for your CMing from her work, by your doltish friend's logic, you would be a prostitute.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 30/08/2011 19:30

No. You are not on benefits. Your friend is stupid.

If I take my tax credits out of the bank and go to a small independent shop and spend my tax credits on a blouse - is the shop owner deemed to then be 'on benefits'?

No. Of course not.

I repeat. Your friend is stupid.

electra · 30/08/2011 19:32

Of course you are not on benefits - you work for the money you are paid. How the parents pay you is irrelevant. But most importantly tell your friend to mind her own damned business. Who does she think she is??

Takitezee · 30/08/2011 19:35

You are not being unreasonable to think that you're not on benefits but you are being very unreasonable talking to your friend about the finances of the parents of your mindees. That's very unprofessional.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 30/08/2011 19:57

That's a very good point indeed, Taki!

Naughty, naughty OP for disclosing personal financial information!!

TotemPole · 30/08/2011 20:03

NickNacks, does she think having a big credit card bill i.e. more debt, is something to brag about?

kelly2000 · 30/08/2011 20:10

You are on benefits as much as tescos is on benefits as some of their customers pay using jobseekers. Your friend sounds dim, I would not bother trying to reason too much with her, just aski if if she is actually serious. Is she jealous of you, on benefits herself?

rhondajean · 30/08/2011 20:22

Love love LOVE the phrase " hard of thinking" going to be using that one from now on!!

And no you arent on benefits - someone is trying to make you feel bad!

youarekidding · 30/08/2011 20:29

This thread is mad, as is your friend OP.

Love the fact the the whole world is on benefits - because of your friends twisted logic. Even the government as DS childcare is at Sure start and I use WTC to pay.

VeraCanSignChocolateAndWine · 30/08/2011 20:38

Greythorne - that was exactly what I was thinking!

Nicknacks - your friend is a loon! you are self employed.

I pay for my dd's childminder from her DLA, your friends logic applied means my childminder gets DLA. Which is clearly not the case.

Tell your friend from me that she is clearly talking crap.

Original poster

NickNacks · 30/08/2011 20:43

Takitezee I only said I had no spare cash as my invoices aren't due to be paid until Wed now. She said 'Oh I thought you got paid at the beginning of the week' and I just said 'Well i did but have just agreed on a change because one mum needs to wait for her TC's. (And some pay monthly which would be Wed anyway.)

I don't see my friend in work time so she doesn't know any of my mindees let alone any of the parents names/faces (which i didn't mention anyway!).

She doesn't work no and her DH's salary is about the same as mine and DH's out together so she probably feels a bit smug that she doens't need to work. And yes, large CC bill is a bit of a status symbol to her.

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 30/08/2011 20:46

She sounds like a prize muppet. Pride in a large credit card bill? Pride in not having to work (eg I bagged a wealthy man and can now sit on my arse passing judgement on my friend who has a career).

Nice. Maybe she is jealous of you having something of your own in life?

Takitezee · 30/08/2011 20:50

NickNacks It's still unprofessional.

Original poster

NickNacks · 30/08/2011 20:53

Be glad its not you then! Takitezee

Jealous - I doubt it!

OP posts:

aquashiv · 30/08/2011 21:06

She needs to stop thinking life is the Jeremy Kyle show.

You could perhaps, as a friend ask her if she would like your help in finding a job. So she can earn her own money rather than have to sponge of rely on her husband?
It would help with her credit card and she could fill her life with useless shit.

niceguy2 · 30/08/2011 21:16

And yes, large CC bill is a bit of a status symbol to her.

I have a friend like that. Completely mad credit card bills. Shuffles her debt around on various 0% deals to convince herself it's all fine.

Jets off all the time to far flung places all fuelled by credit cards. In the past she's managed to remortgage to pay the debts off but no more. So crunch time will come for her, as it will for your friend too.

The only status symbol worth having is to afford the nicer things in life without a credit card bill.

Only an idiot would think having a large credit card bill is something to brag about. Or as my friend once tried to justify it "I like my debt". Yeah right........

strictlovingmum · 30/08/2011 21:21

She is not your genuine friend, drop her.

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