Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

For still being cross at DP regarding sickening video? (graphic detail)

103 replies

UpInSmoke · 30/08/2011 15:21

Last night DP said to me he had a video online he wanted me to see. I asked what it was and he said to just watch it. So I started watching it and it appeared to be a large ocean type animal thrashing around in water. I asked again what it was and he said to keep watching. The video zoomed out and I realised there was a lot of screaming going on in the background and what appeared to be a person in the water with the animal. I said "what on earth is this?" and he said "just a few more seconds". It then descended into a horrifying video of what looked like a whale repeatedly attacking the person in the water as people watched in horror screaming and running around frantically trying to get the person out. On more than one occasion this giant whale threw itself onto the person, dragged the person around by the arm and swam into the person violently. When it cut out I was really cross at DP and asked again what the hell the video was supposed to be showing and he said it was a video of a whale trainer being killed at seaworld.
I felt physically sick after realising the person had died seconds later, went to bed thinking about it and it's still on my mind this morning.

We're supposed to be visiting Seaworld in May. DP said I needed to see "the truth" about these places (he has always been against us going to the park) but I feel he could have made his point better than this. AIBU? I can't get it out of my head

OP posts:

kelly2000 · 30/08/2011 20:06

I would have been annoyed at him, but I think you are being more unreasonable by insisting on going there when he not only does not want to go, but has very good ethical reasons for not wanting to go, and not teach his children that these places are acceptable. It sounds liek you have just ignored his wishes. It is illegal in the UK to keep dolphins and whales like this and for good reason, it is cruel. Why not take the children whale watching instead. If they say the dcs say they want to go to sea world explain to them it is cruel.

TeddyRuxpin · 30/08/2011 20:26

I would have done the same as your DP to be honest.
I don't understand how you can say you know that Seaworld is bad but you still want to take your DC as it's hard to say "no".
Do you really want your DC to learn that it's ok for animals to be used and abused for our entertainment?
I dont agree with zoos, circuses, seaworld etc and for this reason I would never take my DD to any of these places.
I suggest, as others have, that you watch the documentary "the cove".
As with all attractions where animals are forced to perform, remember that your entertainment is their Hell.

Salmotrutta · 30/08/2011 21:14

Unless your DH tied you to the chair or physically forced you to watch then YABU.
You could have got up and left.
These places are awful and I hate seeing animals being made to perform like that.

Sounds to me like you weren't listening and he felt compelled to make a point.

Odd that you don't mind being entertained by participating in an animal's suffering in captivity but can't stomach watching a video - that had do be explained to you because you didn't realise what you were watching.

noblegiraffe · 30/08/2011 21:14

WTF all these posters saying your DH was reasonable and they'd do the same. Why couldn't he have shown you this 'Cove' documentary people are going on about instead?

I would be absolutely furious if someone showed me a video of someone dying horrifically on the internet, it's the sort of thing that would give me nightmares for years. If there are ethical problems with Seaworld, then make ethical arguments.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/08/2011 21:15

Speaking of which (ish)

What about London Aquarium?

Comments and thoughts please.

DS has autism and is currently fascinated by sharks and whales. I am keen to encourage any non- Dr Who related interests but would not obviously take him to anywhere with captive whales and big sharks.

Is there an ethical way of seeing large fish live that doesnt involve travel? (it aint gonna happen).

I think he would be happy with large, interesting sea life generally but I do not want to go anywhere that is cruel. I have never been to London Aquarium so have no idea what they are like and what creatures they have.

Salmotrutta · 30/08/2011 21:27

Noblegiraffe - the OP didn't even realise what she was watching. Her DH had to tell her. So it can hardly have been that "graphic".

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 21:32

noble

There is no such video.

And there are ethical arguments regarding SeaWorld.

Or did you just read what you wanted to and ignore the rest ?

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 21:38

thefirstMrsDeVere

I have read a little bit about the aquarium and it would appear that they don't have many large fish, and from what I have (very briefly) read, they appear to look after the fish very well.

I suppose it depends how far you wish to take your beliefs ? A total ban on any zoo/establishment that uses animals/fish as entertainment, although I suppose some would argue that the aquarium is more conservation and education.

I have not been to the aquarium so I hope others can help you in that respect.

The only other way I can think of suggesting seeing anything is maybe a sea trip, maybe in the future, but that would clearly involve travel.....or, what about the documentaries that have been on tv ? I think like Life On Earth, there was an ocean one ? There was a good programme on recently on BBC1, Ocean Giants. Very good, Stephen Fry narrates, and some great footage.

There is a programme on BBC2 tomorrow about Killer Whales, 8pm, if anyone is interested.

solidgoldbrass · 30/08/2011 21:45

He's a self-righteous prick and a bully. If he doesn't want to go to Seaworld on ethical grounds, fine, but given that you are his partner, the person he lives with and supposedly loves, he needs to accept that you do not have to agree with him about everything, and if he has aired his views and you haven't agreed, he has no right to try to enforce them on you by frightening and upsetting you. Is he like this about other issues ie if you don't do what he wants he keeps ramping up the pressure?

SouthernFriedTofu · 30/08/2011 21:51

Mrsdevere what about an Imax film? I think there a few (I haven't seen them so can't comment on quality) imax deepsea under the sea

DeccaTreuhaft · 30/08/2011 21:55

I would be very pissed off indeed if someone showed me a clip of someone dying.

However - that said - you hadn't listened to his concerns about going to Seaworld. If he was adamant about not going there you should have listened to his concerns.

millyR I feel very, very unhappy indeed at the idea of Gorillas being kept in the wild. I went to Bristol Zoo with my family last summer and we all left feeling very sombre. VERY sad sight to see animals like that in such cramped enclosures. Yes I can't imagine that those gorillas can be set free in the wild, however I wish that they would move from Bristol (it is such a small zoo that they cannot increase the space they are given) to another zoo with larger enclosures. However the cynic in me imagine they would never do this as the gorillas are such a draw.

I personally think that zoos are outdated in this day and age, no matter what good they do research wise. I started a thread on it last year when I came back from the zoo.

noblegiraffe · 30/08/2011 21:56

MrsD - it doesn't matter whether the video exists or not because people have come on this thread and said they'd do the same thing!

And yes, I did read the rest of the thread about ethical arguments, did you not read my full post about showing the documentary instead ?

ledkr · 30/08/2011 21:57

He would have been better off giving you some facts about the place and explaining his reasons for his beliefs.A trainer getting killed is a bit irelevant to the ethical reasons for boycotting the place.

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 21:59

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/08/2011 22:01

mrsD thank you.

Personally I feel that large fish kept in a very large tank with the right eco system is acceptable because I do not think the fish would suffer.

I dont think its the same as keeping a mammal in a cage or enclosure or a shark that would usually spend its lifetime swimming for many many miles.

BUT I am prepared to be educated on this and will listen to other's views.

I am going to tape the Killer Whales one because he is particularly interested in them. I would prefer him to get his answers from the documentary than to keep asking me things i cannot possibly answer

IMAX is a good idea too.

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 22:06

thefirstMrsD

Just as a warning re the K/W programme....it is called "The Woman Who Swims With Killer Whales", and it's content is about the 'unusually high number of killer whale deaths in the past year'. Just concerned may not be ideal viewing for your son ?

Maybe a quick look on ebay for some good documentaries might be better ? You might get more factual, than emotional, iyswim ?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/08/2011 22:25

I heard her on R4 today and she was the one that said killer whales never kill in the wild. She must be talking about ones in captivity?

I would watch it first. He is not squeamish but I want to avoid long, one sided 'discussions' about how and why and when Killer Whales kill. Its like being trapped in a car with an East London Jaques Cousteau.

I will have a look around for some suitable viewing if the programme tommorow is not quite the thing.

I have heard that she tends to anthrowhatist the whales (you know that thing when they talk about animals like people). I find that really annoying (not just because i cant spell it)

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 22:38

MrsD

I don't think it is to do with captivity, it's the whales who are dying ? (Don't quote me though).

I know what you mean, some of the conservationists are SO passionate, and give whole pods names and know how to id them all etc etc.

I suppose if something is your lifes work though, it doesn't seem odd ?

And I guess, (not going all anthrow-wotsit) animals can feel and have feelings too ?

I do worry about poor Tili and the other whales in captivity. I have just confessed on another thread that thinking about him kept me awake most of the other night. Seriously, the birds were singing and it was light !

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 22:39

Sorry.

That should have been MrsD1.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/08/2011 22:49

Sorry! Dead whales not killer ones!

He wont mind that at all.

She calls them Splash and Salty though - surely a step too far

moondog · 30/08/2011 22:52

'I have seen the gorillas at London Zoo and their expressions made me feel so sad. They seem so intelligent and so dignified compared to many of the people looking at them.'

Does that include you Teamdamon?

MrsDBouquetVAMOSRAFA · 30/08/2011 22:57

MrsD1

Well, she has to have some way of identifying the whales she is watching ?

I think it's better than 'Whale 1' and 'Whale 2' etc....

But then, I am the sort of person who scours baby name books to name my pets, so you're asking the wrong person !

HeadfirstForHalos · 31/08/2011 01:22

I am mostly thinking YANBU, but I do see what he was trying to do. He wasn't showing you the clip for some sort of sick pleasure it was to make a point. A tad extreme though.

HeadfirstForHalos · 31/08/2011 01:24

You are also BU by pushing to go to Seaworld when it goes against his beliefs too. You couldn't pay me to go in there.

kelly2000 · 31/08/2011 02:58

It sounds like the Dh has made the ethical arguements, but the OP has ignored them which is far more bullying in my opinion. If I were DH I would not let my children go to seaworld, as it is cruel and encourages children to think of animals as there purely for entertainment. For the same reason i would not got to a zoo or a circus etc.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5