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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect to be allocated airline seats next to my kids?

751 replies

correllia · 30/08/2011 13:24

My partner and I are off on holiday to menorca at the end of September with Monarch. They have emailed us to tell us we can check in online now, which saves time at the airport.

So far so good - but to complete the process I have to prebook my seats at the cost of £5 per seat per flight. We are on a tight budget and deliberately haven't bought the seats in advance to save the pennies.

Kiddies are 2 and 4, whilst I don't mind our sitting 2 and 2 apart from each other but looking at the seat plan even this option is fast disappearing! Can the airline force such young children to sit next to strangers?

Am I unreasonable to demand that we sit with them?

PS this is my first post, so please be genttle :-)

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 02/09/2011 22:38

No they shouldn't Portofino-don't pay-print out the CAA guidelines and hand to staff.

albertcamus · 03/09/2011 00:51

Amazed at the agreement exoticfruits - I now travel regularly for work and it seems that increasing numbers of very young children are being dragged around the world and subjected to stressful airports & all that go with them, in the name of 'quality of life' : but for whom? It's definitely not the parents or adjacent passengers, certainly not the airline staff and - most importantly - not the children themselves. I think it's time for an honest dialogue between the airlines, the CAA and parents' groups, with advocates for children, because the effect, impact and liability of carrying infants and very young children is a serious business consideration, and one which is increasingly discouraging flying in all classes.

Jeremy Clarkson's 'Flying Lung' experience on First Class to Barbados springs to mind ...

albertcamus · 03/09/2011 01:00

I quote Jeremy to illustrate my points that
1 there is no escape in First class
2 despite his exaggeration, clearly here was a long-haul baby in distress
3 they seem to have disappearing or useless fathers and mothers able to ignore their cries

^Whatever, the story was rubbish, so this morning I?m going to see if I can do better with my own sermon on selfishness. It?s called the parable of the British Airways Flight to Barbados.

There was a wicked man who had agreed to go on a golfing holiday with his boss. Plainly this had not gone down well with his wife, who had demanded that she come too, and their children, one of whom was a baby.

Now British Airways does not allow you to smoke while on board, or carry knitting needles or have sexual intercourse with other passengers.

You are also not allowed to board if you have shoes with explosive soles or if you?ve had one too many tinctures in the departure lounge. And if you make any sort of joke, about anything at all, in earshot of the stewardesses, you will be tied to your seat as though it was 1420, and you were in the stocks.

But you are allowed, welcomed even, into the club class section of the plane even if you are accompanied by what is essentially a huge lung covered only in a light veneer of skin.

I want to make it absolutely plain at this point that I never took any of my children on a long-haul flight until they were old enough to grasp the concept of reason. It is simply not fair to impose your screaming child on other people, people who have paid thousands of pounds for a flat bed and therefore the promise of some sleep.

There?s talk at the moment of introducing planes with standing room for economy class passengers. Imagine the sort of seat you get in a bus shelter and you?ll grasp the idea. Fine. So why not soundproofed overhead lockers into which babies can be placed? Or how about flights where under-twos are banned? I?m digressing. The family at the centre of this morning?s parable were seated in club class, between me and another columnist on The Sunday Times, Christa D? Souza. I said I wanted to write about them. Christa said she wanted to kill them.

The crying began before the Triple Seven was airborne, and built to a climax as we reached the cruise. And this was the longest climax in the history of sound. It went on, at Krakatoan volume, without hesitation, until we began the descent eight hours later. At which point, thanks to a change in pressure on the lung?s tiny earholes, the noise reached new and terrifying heights. I honestly thought the plane?s windows might break.

And what do you suppose the mother did to calm her infant? Feed it some warm milk? Read it a nice soothing story? Nope. She turned her seat into a bed, puffed up her pillow, and pretended to go to sleep.

I know full well she wasn?t actually asleep for three reasons. First, it would have been impossible. Second, no mother can sleep through the cries of her own child, and third, every time I went to see Christa I made a point of trailing a rolled up newspaper over the silly woman?s head.

So why was she pretending? Aha. That?s easy. I know exactly what she said to her husband as they left home that morning. ?If you?re going to play golf while we?re on holiday, you can be child minder on the plane. I spend all day with those bloody kids. I?m doing nothing.?

This is almost certainly why the lung was so agitated. Because the person it knows and loves was apparently dead, while it was being jiggled around by a strange man it had never seen before. Because he leaves for work at six in the morning, doesn?t get back till 10 and is away all weekend playing golf.

And that?s why he was put in charge of the children, and that?s why the flight was ruined for several hundred people. Who then had to spend a fortnight in the Caribbean, terrified that the lung would be on their night flight back to Britain. It wasn?t. And this is the point of my sermon^

DioneTheDiabolist · 03/09/2011 01:32

I would pay more than a fiver to be separated from my 4yo on a plane.
Don't get me wrong, he's very sociable with charming and imaginitive conversation. It's just that he never shuts up. On a plane, due to the mixture of excitement and fear, he would be speaking at three times normal speed, with a few high pitched sounds thrown in. Incessantly. The whole way.

I don't want to sit beside that for 8 hours and I'm sure as hell not paying for the privilidge. The airlines want to be reasonable, spare their passengers this irritation, then they will seat us together and not try to milk more money from me.

Andrewofgg · 03/09/2011 07:07

On scheduled services with a lot of flights keeping a proportion for twelve-and-up or fourteen-and-up might not be such a bad idea!

Catslikehats · 03/09/2011 07:19

albertcamus I don't believe for a moment that people are actually choosing not to travel due to the likely presence of a young child.

Yes sometimes a child is an irritation. I have also over the years been irritated by
i) several drunks;
ii) several passangers and their partners who groped and slurped their way to their destination;
iii) a number of people who have spent the entire jorney playing games loudly on their DS/ipad/laptop;
iv) a woman who had some sort of panic attack due to being scared of flying and screaming that she was going to die. For three hours;
v) being squeezed next to an obese man who was taking up as much of my seat as I was;
vi) numerous individuals who have spent the entire flight with their chair reclined into my lap, including meal times.
v) men who have thought it appropriate to conduct loud conversations across the plane liberally using the word cunt and fuck. Always a joy when you have a toddler.

The sooner people realise that the days of plane travel being a luxury experience circa 1950 are long gone and that it is simply a means to an end, on public transport the sooner that this entitled, me first attitude of so many might end.

Thumbwitch · 03/09/2011 07:31

Good Lord, I've taken DS on longhaul flights between the UK and Australia since he was 10mo - he's never screamed. Had a couple of weepy moments, especially on being forcibly woken up to put him in his seatbelt, but never sustained yelling.

I can't imagine how any parent could put up with that level of noise, nor allow it to continue if there was any way in the world they could stop it.

albertcamus · 03/09/2011 07:33

TQOD I accept your points, especially the latter. I often take my students overseas and the language makes teenagers blush. I've also noticed that the activity of flying seems to bring out the worst in the nervously-inclined, shall we say. I suppose this is the price we pay for mass tourism, and I do regret the days of which you speak. when travel was a looked-forward to privilege. I do think, however, that the me-first attitude you mention should NOT be so prevalent from the minute of arrival at Departures, when so many fathers revert to teenage iPod isolation mode leaving their wives to grapple with excited offspring whose neighbouring passengers would like to drink their coffee without a sudden kick in the lumbar region. Which brings me to my original point that my three children are perfectly well-adjusted having enjoyed UK holidays until 5 / 7, after which we flew, gradually longer distances, which, by that age, they could cope with, and we all enjoyed the experience.

Thumbwitch · 03/09/2011 07:33

TheQueen, I have to say I agree that I see no diminution of travellers - rather the opposite in fact. No matter when I choose to travel, the planes now are almost always packed to the utmost. In years gone by, there was a decent chance of getting a spare seat next to you - this appears to be a rarity now (certainly UK-Australia or back).

FemaleYouNicked · 03/09/2011 07:36

Not everyone just travels abroad for holidays. There are plenty of expats on the move too.

Catslikehats · 03/09/2011 07:44

I also agree that I have never heard a child cry for any prolonged period of time and when they do I have seen parents (fathers included - I am afraid I cannot relate to this ipod in ignoring the family mode that has been spoken of) doing their level best to soothe and calm the child, as much it would appear for the benefit of the other passengers as the child itself.

Happily, when confronted with a distressed child I have never witnessed another passenger do anything other than look at the parent with the utmost of sympathy.

I am inclined to agree that in many travelling brings out the worst: being herded like cattle and generally being subjected to a poor experience having spent what to many is the single biggest expense of the year is depressing and in the already selfish and arrogant it reinforces the me me me - I am entitled, I have paid attitude.

Fontsnob · 03/09/2011 09:19

Yes yes, let's ban children under 5 from public transport. So no children on planes, trains, buses, the underground, boats? After all, they may annoy the people around them.

ilovesooty · 03/09/2011 10:06

No one suggested banning under 5s from public transport did they? That's reading something into the previous comments that simply isn't there.

crazyspaniel · 03/09/2011 10:47

Oh god, I've just remembered the transatlantic journey from hell I had seated in a row of four next to a mother, father and toddler. The toddler puked for most of the journey, the mother was pregnant and the child's puking set her off vomiting too. I'm afraid the only way I could deal with it was to put in the earplugs and stick on the eyemask, otherwise I would have been sick too.

Fontsnob · 03/09/2011 20:07

ilovesooty my reply was sarcastic, exaggerating and going a step further from a previous poster who doesn't understand why people would travel with under fives because...

For the majority of passengers of planes, trains etc., their journey is a privilege or hard-earned treat which is likely to be ruined by the toddler-toting minority who do not accept that it is totally unreasonable to suffer a journey, even short-haul, ruined by a young child who finds it uncomfortable, restrictive, frightening and boring to be hauled around the world because the parent has not actually thought about the whole situation from the child's POV.

I realise that the words ban under 5's weren't actually said, but let's face it, there are a few people who would applaud such a ban!

Andrewofgg · 03/09/2011 20:17

Quite so, Fontsnob, and please disregard my post somewhere upthread, I can't be arsed to find it, about having some adults-only flights on popular routes. It was not meant seriously and would have been better left unsaid.

bigbud01uk · 03/05/2015 21:12

Have to say some of the chat on here is disturbing, an airline should sit their parents with there child and NOT charge them for the privilege.

its another way of ripping off family's plus THEY DO have to sit you next to your child. I would say the airline/Holiday company should inform you before you book that there is no seating available for your family or there is going to be an extra charge in order for you to do so.

I can only say the people who have said they would not move seats to accommodate a family need to have a look at themselves!!

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 03/05/2015 21:33

I can only say the people who have said they would not move seats to accommodate a family need to have a look at themselves!!

I look at myself every day in the mirror thank you very much and like the person that I see! Why should people move for families who are too damn tight to reserve seats? We have flown long and short haul for many years with three children and NEVER expected anyone to give up a seat for us. Of course we booked our seats when we could. Before bookable seats we actually managed to turn up for the desk opening to ensure we were sat together. If people with children wish to travel on an airline it's not exactly difficult to book seats is it? Whether people like it or not they change to book seats on some flights. I really do not understand why people wold take the chance in not booking seats then expect people who have paid to move for them.

SorchaN · 03/05/2015 22:33

Wow, it seems that some people think that paying a few quid to reserve a seat absolves them of moral responsibility towards other human beings. If a child needs to sit next to its parent, you move (unless you have an actual disability or other genuine reason to need that particular seat). I'm really shocked at what paying for something seems to represent in these people's minds!

BopToTheTop · 03/05/2015 22:33

I don't get why this topic gets brought up so often, I have never flown with what would be considered as a budget airline so cannot give a first hand view on their procedures but the principle seems fairly obvious

Budget airlines offer a basic package, admitidly ideally catered towards single/childless travellers, with the option of purchasing optional extras such as seat choice and extra baggage

If all of these 'extras' were included as standard when booking seats then there would be no differentiation in the 'entire product' being offered when comparing it to what is offered by a more expensive airline where all of the 'extras' are included in the seat price

Therefore budget airlines would just increase their prices so they were in line with their other competitors, meaning that nobody would have the option of ever purchasing a basic flight package for a cheaper price

bettybigballs · 03/05/2015 22:36

Zooooommmbbiieee

FarFromAnyRoad · 03/05/2015 22:36

I don't get why this topic gets brought up so often

I don't get why you're resurrected a nearly 3 year old thread just to have a whinge. Why not just start a new one?

turtletoes · 03/05/2015 22:39

I work in the airline industry and I'm afraid if you want to sit together you need to prepay for seats like everyone else. If you're on the same booking then nine times out of ten you will get seats allocated a few days before your flight. As far as I'm aware legally a child needs to be seated next to a named carer/parent so if there are four of you for example two could be at the front together and two at the back. An airline is a business so of course they're trying to profit.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/05/2015 22:42

This thread is four years old.

Patapouf · 03/05/2015 23:15

what is the point in fucking resurrecting this thread. pay for seat selection or get given seats you haven't chosen, it's simple.