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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

an old friend of mine wants me to go see him

38 replies

saladsandwich · 26/08/2011 10:20

an old friend from when i was a child wants me to go see him, we've reconnected on facebook he's just lost his dad to illness and he has been messaging me just talking about it all, i lost my mum a few years back and he says im the only person he knows whose lost a parent and thats why he was messaging me.

he's home on his own for the weekend and he's asked if i can go to see him i'd have very very lively 2 year old ds with me who has never met this friend of mine and he is not the best behaved child i'm also not well at the moment and i would have to catch the bus he lives 3 villages away.

i want to help him, i know how lonely it is not having anyone and i've only just come to terms with losing my mum myself although the circumstances i lost my mum were not the same by a long shot, am i being a heartless cow if i dont go? he has a massive family, he has a g/f and child but for some reason g/f isn't around all the time.
AIBU to not go? i feel like a right cow not going but im trying to think of myself too im not exactly at my strongest and not at my most trusting either x

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 27/08/2011 00:11

Bloody hell, you may need to involve the police, though hopefully complete blanking will see him off. Do bear in mind that the more contact someone demands when they have been given no encouragement, the more likely their agenda is to make a lampshade out of your skin or at least bore you to death and drain your resources.

jasper · 27/08/2011 00:20

you don't WANT to meet him, so don't.

Use that as a rule of thumb in life - don't do things you don't want to do - with logical exceptions like going to work, getting our of bed to feed your kid- and it will serve you well.

Poshbaggirl · 27/08/2011 07:17

I agree with Jasper. It's your life and you just do what makes YOU happy. The takers out there will continue to take unless you say no. Its ok to say no. Its ok for people to take if its something thats being offered though.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 27/08/2011 07:25

I think you are right to stay away. Instinct suggests that he is looking for a empathy shag.

I am very sorry about your Mum Sad

Animation · 27/08/2011 07:44

"you don't WANT to meet him, so don't.

Use that as a rule of thumb in life - don't do things you don't want to do - with logical exceptions like going to work, getting our of bed to feed your kid- and it will serve you well."

Jasper - I like your philosphy. Smile

talking2myself · 27/08/2011 08:19

Yes it sounds like he wanted you over so he could talk you into spending the night. He was much too forward about the invite and wanting to come to yours.

He doesn't sound like someone you would want to trust with your DS either imo. Too many weirdos in this world, it is not worth taking the chance.

TheSecondComing · 27/08/2011 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jasper · 27/08/2011 10:15

Animation thanks. I wish I'd adopted that philosophy in my 20s instead of my 40s!

Anniegetyourgun · 27/08/2011 12:22

Hmm, if he's got that many brothers and sisters, it is simply untrue that he doesn't know anyone else that's lost a parent. He knows at least nine other people in the exact same boat - it was even the same parent! If he can't talk to any of them there's very likely a can of worms (or nest of vipers) you really wouldn't want to open.

Original poster
saladsandwich · 27/08/2011 20:10

hes messaged me saying his sister is ill and in hospital, i aint buying that hes bothered he's after sympathy and i've decided i am not giving it, i cant be doing with it at all. i'm tempted to see someone about the way i am though can't go through life like this

OP posts:
Chynah · 28/08/2011 23:04

Err just block him on Facebook or better delete and ignore all texts - YOU are in control here so just dont acknowledge him.

inatrance · 28/08/2011 23:58

Salad, you ARE doing something about it, you're listening to those internal alarm bells. If you ignore them, it usually ends in tears...

Delete and block!

Original poster
saladsandwich · 30/08/2011 20:17

would just like to thankyou for all your advise you where all right, i ignored him so he put a few status' up aimed at me without mentioning my name... exact words where

Doesnt it piss u off wen people say they are doing sumat and then they dont do it not mentioning names

and then....
Its time to block a few people on ere sum that do mi head in n cant be arsed with

he then removed me from his friends list, i know exactly why he did it, i was talking with other people on facebook pratting around being rude and having a little fun and ignored his cries for self pity, but anyways thanks, i very nearly went there and it would have been a massive mistake

OP posts:
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