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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby at wedding...?

44 replies

Angel786 · 25/08/2011 14:47

DH has 2 best friends who were getting married this yr. One got married a few months ago, we took DD (then 7 months old) to the eve reception (DH really wanted her there), she got ill, I got ill, she was overtired so she and I left early (also had a row with in laws there Angry).

His other mate gets married next week and has 4 evening events and 2 daytime ones. DH wanted to take DD so he could dance with her at the wedding (very sweet and something he has talked about since I was pregnant!) but since the last wedding we agreed not a good idea to keep her out late. Instead we agreed we would take her to the day events and I would go with him to two eve events (w/o DD) and I would stay at home with DD for the rest.

His mate has now said he is upset that DD is not going as he really wanted her there for two evening events. If I take DD she won't be able to sleep unless I keep walking around with her in the pram and will upset her routine / not be comfy for her (events are 7pm - 1am and she usually sleeps at 8pm) and I won't relax as will be running around outside with a pram.

AIBU / WWYD?

OP posts:
Laquitar · 25/08/2011 15:16

How about a babysitter and your dh dancing with you?
Is he one of those annoying 'look at me' dads?

Salmotrutta · 25/08/2011 15:18

How about a special request for the Band/DJ - "You Are The Sunshine of My Life"?

scarletfingernail · 25/08/2011 15:20

Your DH is being selfish. I also think he sounds like an attention seeker.

He wants to make his baby daughter tired, fractious and uncomfortable just so he can dance with her in front of an audience? Presumably it is about the audience? Otherwise why can't he just dance with her at home?

I'd be surprised if the groom was really that bothered either way.

Cheria · 25/08/2011 15:23

DH friend is being unreasonable to drag a wedding over four evenings and two days. What is it with this trend in the UK right now? I wouldn't go to anaything more than the service and the evening reception after the service.

tortilla · 25/08/2011 15:24

I'm so Shock at the 4 evening events, 2 daytime events and a groom who is upset that he won't be given the opportunity to socialise with a squawking, tired baby at his wedding that I can't even begin to focus on advising the OP on what to do :o

diddl · 25/08/2011 15:28

TBH, I´m Shock that he has been thinking about this since OP was pregnant??!!

It kind of sounds cute, but it kind of sounds like a forced scenario from a crap movie.

JanMorrow · 25/08/2011 15:32

I want to know what the 2 daytime events and 4 evening events are.. unless it's an Indian wedding with all the pre-gatherings and the like?

Salmotrutta · 25/08/2011 15:33
Original poster
Angel786 · 25/08/2011 15:40

I would end up looking after her after the 5-10 min dance (so everyone can coo as diddl said!). Yep it's an Asian do so they have a girl and guy's pre wedding henna party (both eve dos), some other groom's eve do (a pitti/bitty?) a registry event, a separate eve reception and a post wedding daytimer... phew am tired just from writing it down. Can't moan too much tho as ended up having 7 (wtf) events for my wedding (parents took over, not my own doing) and one eve I didn't even know something was going on until about 20-30 of my mum's mates rocked up at our house with their dancing shoes on Blush!

OP posts:
Original poster
Angel786 · 25/08/2011 15:42

I think he saw the Hangover and one of the guys was dancing with a kid at the wedding so everrrrr since then it's been something he wants to do. I really don't mind the dance thing and it could be v cute just not practical, unless I take DD to the wedding for an hour or so and then take her home early.

OP posts:
JanMorrow · 25/08/2011 15:43

Yeah they're such fun aren't they Angel, you'll have a ball, but you don't want the baby there, no siree bob.

minxofmancunia · 25/08/2011 15:43

YANBU, I coudn't cope with all those events myself sounds boring and exhausting. Just been to a wedding that had a bbq the night before then the wedding at 12 noon the next day then an evening do, that was too much. but then i find the majority of weddings boring anyway.

LydiaWickham · 25/08/2011 15:50

YANBU - tell him if he wants to take her, you won't go so he can deal with a shouty, upset baby all night, not just for 5 minutes, or alternatively, he can put what's best for his DD above what he wants to do.

Children aren't props, they are real people. Films are not real life, they are made up stories.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 25/08/2011 15:53

Did the groom tell you he wanted DD there or did he tell you "via" your DH?

Acandlelitshadow · 25/08/2011 15:56

If he's set on performing his perfect daddy act for the masses, let him do the whole show, not just one scene.

Original poster
Angel786 · 25/08/2011 15:56

LydiaW - totally agree, have had several rows with inlaws trying to explain DD is not a toy to be woken up when they want to play...

Dickie - to be fair the bride and groom do treat DD as a niece and always ask after her / for photos etc. and even bought her a dress to wear (months ago) for their registry which she can go to as it's a daytime thing. BUT they will be sooo busy with their own wedding to notice if DD is there (think there are over five hundred people invited to one event!).

OP posts:
SouthernFriedTofu · 25/08/2011 16:06

YANBU but I think dh wanting to dance with her is quite cute Blush

vanfurgston · 25/08/2011 16:08

YANBU

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 25/08/2011 16:26

I think you have to do what's right for you and DD. Your DH's romantic ideal of him dancing with DD whilst everyone coos and tells him what a great dad he is will quickly be shot when she doesn't stop screaming and you look like you're about to brain him.

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