To have said no to the girl wanting to ride DS1 bike?

[sheeplikessleep]

Took DS1 (3.10) and DS2 to the park today, DS1 rode his bike and left it 'parked up' to the fence alongside the edge of the park.

As we were leaving, spotted a little girl sat on DS1 bike. Her mum was alongside talking to her, getting herself onto her own bike. As we approached, the girl said "is this your bike?" to DS1 and he said yes. She said "can I ride it?" and I said "actually, we are just leaving and I think DS would like to ride it I'm afraid". Her mum just sort of stood staring at me, making no attempt to encourage her DD off the bike and obviously wanting me to let her go on it.

I know this isn't a major thing by any stretch, but was IBU to have said no? I sort of think that it's property and if my DS got on a bike outside a park, I'd have told him to get off it. If it had been the situation that the girls mum had been saying 'come on, get off the bike, it isn't yours', I probably would have said 'it's okay, have a few minutes on it if you like'. But the fact that the mum so obviously expected me to let her DD on it made me dig my heels in a bit.

So AIBU?

Blimey, I can't even believe the mother was cheeky enough to ask if her DD could ride it!

yanbu. I would not have let the dc's touch it if it belongs to someone else.

pigletmania - i feel a bit negative in this instance, because the mum wasn't making any effort to remove her dd from the bike and that to me says she was okay about her daughter getting on someone else's bike in the first place. if the mum was visibly trying to remove her daughter or apologise to me or showed some sort of 'come on get off the bike' type of message, i wouldn't have thought twice. and i know kids of course get on stuff and try stuff that isn't theirs. i just felt that the mum should have made more of an effort really to get her daughter off, both in the first instance and also once i said no.

baroness - the mum didn't ask, it was the dd who asked me.

theft - don't have permission to use / take it.

sharing - do have permission to use / take it.

quite simple in my book.

if the dd had got on the bike and ridden off with it, that would be theft!

I agree with getaway. My DS(2 1/2) is in full tantrum mode and I have to sort of gear myself up to handle it. I actually would not have let him use someone's bike/ride-on without checking first, but in the event that he maybe just helped himself I know I'd have a monumental battle on my hands. Maybe the mother was just inwardly sighing.

My upper body strength is improving daily with all the carting off with howling child. Thank goodness he's not my first because it can be rather a head turner.

Sorry - I was clearly so busy being shocked that I didn't read it properly.

tbh baroness - it doesn't make much difference really anyway ;)

Pigletmania - I was referring to the pervading 'culture' that children can expect to use other children's private property and must be permitted to do so because it's 'sharing'. I wasn't calling all SN children thieves.

It's the mother's attitude that everyone is objecting to.

You can't go around touching / using / taking other people's stuff and if your DC do it then you need to stop them. Straightaway without hesitation.

Golly when I go to the park I am constantly on my dd to "put that bike ride on down" "don't touch it, its another little girl/boys bike, its not yours". I love it when there is an empty park . DD also loves chasing kids on bikes which they obviously are sometimes not happy with.

Thank goodness her understanding is getting better and she rarely touches unless its a character on a bike/ride on she likes.

Yes obviously its theft if a child adult got on a bike and rode off with it, but I would hate my dd to be known as a thief when she does not realise what she is doing and I am not always going to be there chasing after her.

Crazy. If my child had touched or sat on someone else's bike I would not have stopped "speaking" until they stopped.

I wouldn't let my dc touch someone else's property without asking first, doesn't matter if it would cause a tantrum, plenty of times mine have been on the floor having a temper tantrum when younger as I've said no to something. They all learn in the end that having a tantrum does no good

I t sounds as though they were going to nick it! why would you just stand by watching, in fact getting ready to depart while your DC climbs onto a bike not her own YANBU

Blimey, in our street all bikes and scooters seem to get shared out. I would agree that in a park with complete strangers, I would expect the parent to ask permission for a go..

I meant to add, I would not get overly stressed about a small child leaping on my dcs bike though...

I think I agree with spiderpig although it's very late & I've just read the opening post. Was the other mum getting onto a bike & if so where was her childs? Or am I reading this totally wrong....

to clarify her mum had her own bike, but had a 'toddler' seat on the back of her own bike.

thanks all for posting. i feel a little less bad now that i wasn't being unreasonable by saying no.