To wonder what the acceptable age Cut off is for being permitted to admit you dont like your stepchild?

[CanIbreathenow]

Now lets face it, you cant like everyone in your family. Some of us dont like out parents sisters, brothers. Some people even have strong dislike for them.

Now what I am wanting to know is on the issue of stepchildren. Its an emotive subject when the stepchild is a child. Step parents are "supposed" to automatically love them and like them or they are seen as horrible, evil, selfish and uncaring. Some of us try so hard to feel those feelings and to like our stepchildren.

But what is considered the acceptable age where you can admit you dont actually necessarily like your stepchild without being branded a bitch anymore? This may not mean you didnt love them or like them as a child by the way.....just that you may not like the person they have developed into . So what say you?

16? 17? 22? 30?

I strongly dislike my stepfather and have done for many years.

From some of the comments that I have heard via my mum, I'm not sure he's my biggest fan either .

TBH I really really don't care what he thinks of me, never have done, despite living in the same house as him for many years.

He could still grow out of it and mature into someone you could like righto

My mother very openly hated my older step siblings and never hid it. 30 years later and she's in her 70s, the impact of this hatred still affects a lot of people.

My DSSs are teenagers (16 and 14) and it is not their best age, IYSWIM. They have been away for most of the summer - they will have spent only three weeks out of nearly 12 with us - and, quite frankly, that is a huge relief to me. But it is also quite a relief to DP!

There is another issue, with stepchildren, in that they obviously have genes and upbringing in common with the parent with whom the parent that you have chosen no longer loves. Maybe those are the aspects you dislike?

Very often the case Bonsoir , I have for a few years now repeated in my head 'he can't help it, it's not his fault' and and I have a permanent dent in my tongue.

Maybe you are right on one way. I dont much like dh's ex, but not because she is his ex. I just dont like her as a person. We are polar opposites.
Im hoping with me its just the teenage thing though.

I am glad you are both moving forward and have forgiven her. Good luck and congratulations btw

thanks piglet

i would say forgiveing not forgiven and certainly not forgotten lol

but forwards is the only way really and none of us can turn back time....

My step mother told me at 17 (to be fair we had only met her 6 months before and i was a boring well behaved, polite teenager so i just smiled and moved on). I left the house and didnt go back. Without my sister and I there my dad left her withing a matter of months turns out that as a father he couldnt really see past her hatred of his children. He has a fantastic wife wife who is a part of the family in every way :)

that should be new wife not wife wife :)

Very true Bonsoir

My friend was abused by her exP. She sometimes seems traits of him in her DD (a look or a phrase or a ways of thinking about something) and she has to leave the room because it upsets her so much.

My DH finds it really difficult when his DC do something that is very much like their mother. Obviously he keeps that hidden from them though.