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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to let dd (age 3) have things like marbles and carrier bags in her room?

82 replies

afraidnotscared · 23/08/2011 21:53

She is pretty sensible but obviously has her unpredictable silly moments. I only let her play with small toys that she could choke on where I can keep an eye on her and she's not allowed them in her room to play with at bedtime. A friend of hers (same age) has plastic bags, coins and all kinds in her room. AIBU overprotective and unreasonable?

OP posts:

ouryve · 23/08/2011 22:55

YANBU, but then I have a 5 year old who chews anything that's not a vegetable and a 7 year old who thinks that plastic bags make amusing hats.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 23/08/2011 22:56

YANBU imo wrt the carrier bags.

FWIW my DD (nearly 4) likes to use my bathrobe cord as "Rapunzal hair" to rescue her dolls, and even though I know the chances are slim that anything bad could happen, she isn't allowed in her room alone to play that game. (tried to stop it completely but that didn't work) Her bed is a mid sleeper so I guess I'm worried she might accidently hang herself like the two kids who did similar in the town I grew up in. It happened when I was about 9 but I've never forgotten it

Original poster

afraidnotscared · 23/08/2011 22:56

Ah I see the hooks OK.

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 23/08/2011 22:58

Hmmm - interesting responses. I was quite relaxed - when dd was 2 she swallowed one of the ds's marbles - got stuck in her throat. We were very very lucky - the chap next door was a doctor and came straight round, turned her upside down - did the "something" thump - marble didn't shift. He yelled at me to call 999, her lips were turning blue and as they came on the line - he did the thump for the third time and up it came. We were close, very close to losing her and if circumsances had been different we might have. Nooooooooo - ban marbles and all small chokable things - it can happen and DOES happen.

EdnaKrabappel · 23/08/2011 23:05

PacificDogwood. Fortunately most pre-schoolers are completely incapable of skipping with a rope so I'm happy to leave that off my mental "banned" list. Though I don't think I'd let an older child keep one in their bedroom.

latenightmum · 23/08/2011 23:06

if it bothers you remove it.

that stuff should be downstairs to be played with. Bedrooms are for sleeping, reading etc.

Sod what everyone else is doing go with your instinct.

3 is far too young to have that stuff anyway

youarekidding · 23/08/2011 23:10

YANBU.

My DS is 7yo and I have to keep roller blind up, he finds anything with a length of stringy stuff (balloons/ elastic bands etc) and ties them up around his room. One of us will end up decapitated soon - if I stop nagging and removing his 'traps'.

Firawla · 23/08/2011 23:45

Why would any 3 yr old need carrier bags in their room anyway, its not even a toy? Don't really understand why they would need to be playing with them in day time or at all.
As for the marbles i think yanbu, or if had them in their room then need to put safely out of the way at night as you never know. I wanted to get a marble run for my 3 yr ds but cos of the choking risk I feel a bit worried about it, mainly cos of younger siblings, so am just holding off on it for now as I don't want to take the risk, so depends on circumstances whether 3 yr olds will be okay with them or not. If there were some bigger sized safer ones i think that would be better for that age personally..
Didnt know that about the magnets, my ds does have loads of magnets in his room but they dont really seem edible as they are not small swallowable ones so hopefully not too much risk, i think he knows not to get them out at night and go putting them in his mouth

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/08/2011 23:54

def no carrier bags in a bedroom/playroom/unseen rooms

i know of a child who died as they played dressing upa nd put a bag over her head and suffocated :(

not worth the risk and wtf do they need a plastic bag to play with?

marbles and small objects - again they can put in mouth and choke - so not worth the risk imho

veryconfusedatthemoment · 24/08/2011 00:19

Humptydumpty - thank you for link! Looks very useful for Dangerchild!

halcyondays · 24/08/2011 00:35

Yanbu, I wouldn't let my 3 year old have things like that in her room. Why would you let them have plastic bgs in their room?I don't let mine have plastic bags, when we've been in the room with her she has got hold of plastic bags and put them over her head. I suppose most 3 year olds don't put things in their mouths so much, but dd2 is 3 and still puts everything in her mouth. Dd1 has a marble run but I only get the marbles out under close supervision. Wouldn't have a skipping rope in her room either.

ChippingIn · 24/08/2011 00:48

Nope - nothing in the bedrooms that's a chocking hazzard. Even those that don't normally still put things in their mouths do/might/can put them in their mouth if they take them to bed with them and we all know what they are like for getting up and fiddling about after lights out - it's just not worth the risk. I guess it's that bit harder if the kids have their toys in their bedrooms rather than the lounge/playroom - but it's still better to try to remove the risks IMO.

verylittlecarrot · 24/08/2011 01:48

I have a habit of tying a knot in any carrier bag I come across. Makes them less likely to cause trouble. The buggers seem to multiply in my house and end up everywhere.

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 24/08/2011 01:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Thumbwitch · 24/08/2011 03:59

DS is 3.8 and came home the other day with hid Dad's old marbles. I was not happy - he does still put things in his mouth, not for exploratory reasons, just for silliness. He could quite easily do that with a marble, pretending it's a lolly or something.

I was also not happy because we have wooden floors and marbles have a habit of "escaping" and providing a lovely accident-waiting-to-happen for someone. They're no fun to step on if you have carpets, but they're fairly dangerous if you don't!

DS isn't allowed to keep plastic sheets or bags at all. He is allowed to play with bubble wrap sometimes but only tiny bits and if it goes anywhere near his face it's taken off him.

I have actually taken the marbles off DS and put them where he can't see them until he's quite a bit older (say, 5).

differentnameforthis · 24/08/2011 05:16

3 year olds don't generally stick small things into their mouth to explore them like babies do

Tell that to my 3yr old...she doesn't explore in this way, but she does it because she can.

So no, I don't think the OP is being overcautious.

TrompetteMilitaire · 24/08/2011 08:54

afraid, having more children won't help.It just increases the amount of anxiety!!

MoominsAreScary · 24/08/2011 09:33

When ds1 was nearly 5 he decided to throw coins up in the air and catch them in his mouth, of course one got stuck and took a good amount of thumping on his back to dislodge.

He was pretty sensible most of the time but young children sometimes do stupid things. If it makes you feel more comfortable keep marbles/bags downstairs. Yanbu sometimes accidents happen at 3 it's better not to risk it

PacificDogwood · 24/08/2011 20:53

Ok, I accept that even older children do daft things.

For all of you with ongoing worries about choking, have you considered doing a First Aid course for children/babies? These course are usually available at hospitals, often offered to new parents, but you can find them locally via ambulance services. Your HV might also be able to point you in the right direction.

I think I was never that worried about choking in young children because I felt as long as they were wee enough to be held upside down and be given a firm thump on the back there was something I could do should something happen.

I have once given someone (adult) a Heimlich Manoeuver which I never really believed worked, and OMG, it did! Like a charm: a huge piece of steak flew halfway across this person's kitchen and Blue Person turned into Pink Person again .

All these things (thump on the back and Heimlich) need to be done with a fair bit of force/confidence and of course you'd panic if it was your own child - does not bear thinking about. Well worth while doing a course IMO, practicing on a dummy and then hoping that you will never, ever need your newfound skills .

ragged · 24/08/2011 20:57

Two family stories of boys (age 4 & 6) nearly choking to death on marbles. So they are banned for us for now, to the dismay of my older ones, but youngest is only 3yo and I have caught all of them with marbles in mouth on occasion (up to 9yo), despite my explanations & admonitions.

Carrier bags don't worry me, not the worst risk type of plastic bag. Am a pretty lax parent in most respects, btw.

ragged · 24/08/2011 21:00

It's funny because I've fished many a bit of gravel out of a many a baby's mouth, so obviously have had a lax attitude about allowing that, yet never had a single choking incident with gravel (babies or toddlers).

But one grape, yes, had a minor choke on that... round, esp. very round things are more risky than odd shaped items re choking.

Glitterandglue · 24/08/2011 21:10

Meh. Boiled down basically, weigh the cost of her getting into serious and potentially fatal trouble with the benefit of not having to keep certain things away from her. I reckon having to keep those things out of her room is probably not a huge battle and the benefits for her are relatively small if you didn't, so go with it.

My nephew got himself into a ridiculous state a couple of months ago while I was babysitting. His mom had tied up something in the smaller kids' bedroom with a long piece of twine. I only knew anything was wrong when the oldest child (who was in the next bedroom) came down to tell me that his brother was choking! When I got there he had totally tangled it to the point where we needed scissors and he was starting to turn red. As it turned out the middle brother had decided to tell his younger brother that if he didn't put the cord round his neck he'd beat him up, and he does have form for violence towards him (it's an ongoing problem). So because the youngest is a bit dopey he went with 'do thing I know is really stupid and pointless' as opposed to 'tell an adult my brother is threatening to beat me up'. Sigh. Anyway I guess my point is it's always going to depend on the maturity of the individual child and who else is around and all that sort of stuff.

4madboys · 24/08/2011 21:14

it depends on your child, and what you are comfortable with.

my ds3 thought i was mean as i wouldnt let him take his skipping rope to bed! for obvious reasons!

my eldest has allsorts in his room but he is just 12 and so not too likely to be stupid!

however ds2 and ds3 who are 9 and 6 i am more careful with, but obviously not careful enough as at easter i had to take ds3 to a&e as he was throwing magnets in the air when lying on his bed and swalled one, but he didnt know if he had only swallowed one, which is fine, or more than one, NOT fine, so we had to go to a&e who were very good and he had an x-ray, just ONE magnet so they left it to pass naturally, had it been more than one it woudl have meant emergeancy surgery to remove them!

interestingly when i went to a&e i had to take all 5 kids! dp was at work and they nurse and x-ray technician assumed it was ds4 (3yrs) who needed the x-ray, they thought they others were too old to have swallowed a magnet! i said i agreed and that if the dam magnet didnt kill him i would! so now no magnets or small coins etc in rooms.

they DO have tonnes of lego tho and it has to stay upstairs cos of 8mth old dd. we had a choking incident with ds2 and a bit of technic lego, i had to tip him upside down and WACK him on his back, it flew out after a few wacks, all covered in blood, it was one of those gear pieces so had sharp bits, he was old enough to know better and it certainly taught him a lesson!

eandemum · 24/08/2011 22:13

YANBU

This has made me think what I do - DD is 5
No to marbles in bedrooms (played with under supervision)
No to plastic bags (no need for them anyway)
No to skipping rope upstairs - kept in garden
No to reachable blind cords
No to balloons in bedroom

I KNOW I am being over protective - but when my brother was about 11
(I was 13) I had to do Heimlich Manouvre on him when he was choking (ham sandwich) - Gran looking after us and was on the phone dialling 999.
It worked in the end but was so scary ( blue lips etc) and it has affected me (see above)

oh and I still cut grapes in half for her

ouryve · 24/08/2011 22:49

PacificDogwood - I did one when DS1 was in nursery because he was such a livewire and it had been some time since I last did a course. I definitely feel like a need a refresher, specially since DS2 puts all sorts in his mouth. I've not seen any more at the local surestart where I did the last course though.

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