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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find Dan's "jokes" regarding epilepsy on Show me the Funny last night extremely offensive??

55 replies

frazzle26 · 23/08/2011 19:37

Did anyone else watch Show me the Funny last night??

Dan one of the contestants made some extremely offensive "jokes" regarding epilepsy which I was quite surprised that ITV broadcast. Epilepsy is misunderstood at the best of times and people with this illness (myself included) do not appreciate being made fun off in front of a national audience.

I sent an email to ITV to complain but so far have been fobbed off. Did anyone else feel that his "jokes" were really out of order and unfunny?

OP posts:
alphabettyspagghetti · 23/08/2011 21:08

PMSL

spookshowangel · 23/08/2011 21:13

literally alpha Grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 23/08/2011 21:15

How about (Not actually the comdian I was looking for...)

spookshowangel · 23/08/2011 21:19

this is also the part of my performance were i have to tell you you are all going to hell for laughing at me.....very funny.

alphabettyspagghetti · 23/08/2011 21:20

Not disabled but made me laugh when I saw him

SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:23

OldLadyKnowsNothing ,
that guy is brilliant Grin

Original poster
frazzle26 · 23/08/2011 21:24

I have accepted my illness but I feel that epilepsy is one of those illnesses that people feel they can laugh at/about and I don't think that's acceptable. When you've been called a freak to your face it's hard to find comediens like him funny.

If he was up there telling jokes about "dirty niggers" I don't think people would find it so funny. Why is this any different?

OP posts:
SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:28

A lot of black comedians say nigger. It's up them to use it or not

spookshowangel · 23/08/2011 21:35

black comedians do that often, make jokes at there own expense so to speak or relate things that have been said to them in a humorous way, i think using the racist card here is a weak way to get your point across.
you dislike it because you have bad associations with people calling you name because of your illness as you can see not everyone feels the same and some people can feel very empowered by finding the humour in their conditions or situations.
you dont have to like it that is totally your prerogative but not everyone has to feel the same way just because you dont, lots of people find strength in different places.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 23/08/2011 21:47

Don't female comedians tend to talk about their experiences as women? Ellie, who was in the show with Dan but was sent home last week, was very empathetic, and it was one of the strengths of her act, how quickly she got other women onside through sharing common experiences.

peeoffkitty · 23/08/2011 21:50

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a hard time frazzle. I don't know if people in general do laugh at epilepsy, but it might seem that way to you if its whats happened in your world. Most people I tell about my epilepsy already know someone who is already affected and have general empathy. Perhaps school age or more ignorant people would laugh at it but they would also laugh at anything outwith the norms of their life. Not convinced on the 'dirty nigger' line. I say that having sat in a Chris Rock show, being very much in the minority of white people there. When he was talking about niggers, I was sitting a bit open mouthed, while all his black fans were rolling about the floor. If they were all feeling oppressed then maybe they would have reacted differently. But they didn't. You are offended because of how you have been treated and that's fair enough. Like spookshow says though, you can't expect everyone else to. Here's a comedian who's clearly had a bad time dealing with epilepsy while at school you, and he's getting over it. His way is to make it a joke. Everyone's different.

Chundle · 23/08/2011 21:54

I didn't see it but I have epilepsy. Good fo you for complaining I would've done the same had seen it

BootyMum · 23/08/2011 21:56

I came on this thread looking forward to being thoroughly outraged...

However I watched the link to the comedian's performance and it just made me smile, no feelings of outrage whatsoever.

I think this is because the comedian is laughing at his own situation and the mean things said to him as a child. He has, as another poster said, engaged the empathy of the audience as we can generally all relate to having felt at some time or another like we are being picked on or singled out for humiliation.

I think the joke would have felt very different if he were making fun of the names epileptics get called if he were not epileptic himself. Then i would have felt properly outraged and would have wanted to fire off a complaint to ITV.

My husband is epileptic, well controlled by his current medication at the moment. However a couple of years ago he was having fairly regular grand mal seizures. These resulted in some nasty injuries and subsequent scarring. Also had a detrimental effect on him emotionally as he was unable to drive and was always worried that he would have a seizure in an inappropriate or dangerous place - ie crossing the road, in a work meeting. He did once have a seizure whilst with a client at work which he found utterly humiliating Sad
Meanwhile I got used to concerned passers by calling me on his mobile to let me know that he'd had a seizure, was unconscious and that they'd called an ambulance.

So I too do have an idea of what it's like to live with epilepsy.
Still think the jokes were amusing though.

youarekidding · 23/08/2011 22:06

I have a friend who has a condition (manifests itself a bit like CP) and her sister has it too. It is named after them. She jokes about it all the time. Things like 'dr said he can't tell me what the future holds and how much longer I will be able to walk' she then jokes about how it's 'no shit, since she 'invented' the syndrome but would kick arse with her dodgy legs if they told her younger sister the same thing'.

She says it's her way of coping, and that if you can't laugh at yourself there's no hope.

I have no opinion on her use of humour or the epilepsy as I don't suffer it personally - however I find people laughing at themselves funny and coragious too. Actually a few people on this thread have made me laugh.

I wear specs and wasn't offended by those jokes.

op I hope you get a reply from ITV. I may not agree with you and neither may others but I think they should acknowledge how it made you feel.

devonshiredumpling · 23/08/2011 22:06

i am a support worker who works with several epileptics and all of them have such wicked senses of humour about their condition. they live with the attitude of them controlling thier illness and not letting their condition controlling them anyway was watching this with one of my service users who has epilepsy and he literally pissed himself laughing i acnt speak for myself but my guys would have a ball at his humour

nosexpleaseimpregnant · 23/08/2011 22:07

My OH has epilepsy and finds jokes regarding the condition quite funny. This isn't the first time it's been debated but his view is that people are generally far too highly strung when it comes to medical conditions.
You get jokes about fat people, skinny people, blonde people, Irish people, Scottish people and they are just that.......jokes. It's not a personal slur on anybody, just humourous observations (if you like that sort of thing I mean).

nosexpleaseimpregnant · 23/08/2011 22:09

BTW I'm both blonde and fat and don't find any of the classic jokes you hear offensive Grin

CardyMow · 23/08/2011 22:16

IF the comedian has epilepsy, then YABU, some of us DO use a sort of black humour to cope. IF he doesn't, then YANBU to be offended.

Having said that, I have used the shake 'n' vac line about myself before. Blush.

(Was dxd with epilepsy 7 years ago).

Also have quite an amusing story to tell about why I have griddle marks on my arse.....

peeoffkitty · 23/08/2011 22:38

oooh do tell about the griddle marks!

SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 22:48

not sure about the griddle mark story! Sounds painful...

CardyMow · 23/08/2011 23:38

Weeeeelll....one night, I was cooking fish fingers for the DC. When it was time to dish up, I put the grill tray on the door of the grill, as you do. Next thing I knew, I was in A&E with a rather hunky MALE nurse taking photo's of my rear end. Blush. I had had a seizure, fallen on the hot grill pan (smooshing the dc's fish fingers - never DID find out what they had for dinner that night!) And griddled my arse! I still have a scar that covers my left buttock in the shape of the grill bars. (How's that for a way to identify my body??!!)

Still not as bad as the time I had a seizure when sitting on the bog one evening wearing nothing but my bra and knickers (was a hot night in my defence). Had 2 paramedics in my tiny downstairs loo trying to pull my knickers up. It hadn't occurred to my oh-so-sensible Ex-DP to pull them up or cover me up before they got there. I suppose at least when I peed myself it was in the right place though. Grin. I did fracture my jaw on the radiator with that one, and tore my shoulder muscle.

All recovered now though, my seizures, while not controlled, are not usually as severe as these were, was about 5-7 years ago they were at their worst.

Rowena8482 · 23/08/2011 23:43

I did wonder if Dan does have epilepsy, but I can't decide if, now I know he does, that makes me feel differently about his jokes Confused I must be getting old or something, I just wish comedians could be funny without being nasty/derogatory/downright mean and nasty about anything/anyone (I know, I know, never going to happen) Best "little old lady voice" like they used to years ago when The Two Ronnies were on telly after tea...
on balance, and after trying to imagine Frankie Boyle telling the same joke as Dan, I still just don't think it's funny - might just be me though, I think I'm the only person in the world who has never ever so much as cracked a smile at anything John Cleese has ever done too...

LineRunner · 23/08/2011 23:49

I didn't think he was actually very good as a stand-up, at all, anyway.

CardyMow · 23/08/2011 23:49

But Rowena - When I stopped going to nightclubs because the strobe lighting set my seizures off, I used to tell my friends - there's no point in me coming, you won't be able to tell if I'm having a seizure or if it's just my bad dancing...

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 23/08/2011 23:50

My DH has Narcolepsy and thinks jokes about Narcolepsy are hysterical. I don't. I find them ignorant, rude, cruel and frankly so factually inaccurate it's ridiculous. I don't know maybe it's a black humour only fellow sufferers can relate to.