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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you if you believe in black magic or getting jynxed by someone with an evil eye?

131 replies

WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 11:50

This is a serious question, but I know I will get a few joke type answers, so I am asking in advance if we can have a serious discussion about this.

I know to some people it may seem like something out of Harry Potter, but I do believe in black magic. Without going into too much detail, I have met many people who have had bad luck in their life, where people in their family have suddenly died, or died after a bad illness (which seems normal), but then they have had other strange things happen to them, like blood splatters on their clothes out of the blue, or finding strange charms with pins in them under their bed or chairs in their house or finding balls of hair in their rooms or where they work. I have also had a few problems in my life, that I believe were the work of someone in my family cursing me out of jealousy. This is not in England.

I know a family member, who fell ill on his wedding day. He'd get pains all over his body and high fever and the doctors couldn't understand what was wrong. After a few weeks, his wife found a round ball made out of fabric with pins in it under his office chair in their house. It was found that it was a bad luck charm and the day it was thrown away, the man became better again.

I am just wondering if any of you believe that you could be harmed by someone through black magic or even get jynxed by someone who is jealous of your good fortune. I know it sounds unreal, but in some countries, such as Nigeria, black magic is a normal occurrence.

What do you all think?

Ready to be ridiculed.

OP posts:
MardyBra · 23/08/2011 12:13

No it's all random. People just latch on to coincidences to prop up their beliefs and ignore anything that doesn't support it.

This book by Richard Wiseman has some interesting observations, where he argues that being superstitious can actually make you MORE unlucky because of the behaviours you adopt.

Empusa · 23/08/2011 12:13

Should point out. Also Pagan. However I believe magic is just psychology. No less powerful, of course, but easier to get around if you are aware of it.

Empusa · 23/08/2011 12:14

"where he argues that being superstitious can actually make you MORE unlucky because of the behaviours you adopt."

Makes perfect sense.

Original poster
WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 12:20

Thanks for all the answers so far. Yes I do believe it may be a cultural thing as I have never come across, say, a European who believes in black magic.

QueenofJacks and Pandemoniaa Thanks for your interesting replies.

OP posts:
Original poster
WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 12:23

What about someone causing bad luck by being jealous?

I have a family member, who everyone avoids as she has been notoriously blamed for getting jealous and causing bad luck to people's good fortune. The most horrendous thing (that she supposedly caused), was telling a male family member he looked very handsome, and the next day he was left blinded in one eye at work. His wife told this female family member that it was her fault when it happened. Do you think certain people can be associated with bad luck? Another, cultural thing?

OP posts:
Empusa · 23/08/2011 12:26

"I have a family member, who everyone avoids as she has been notoriously blamed for getting jealous and causing bad luck to people's good fortune. The most horrendous thing (that she supposedly caused), was telling a male family member he looked very handsome, and the next day he was left blinded in one eye at work."

Poor bloody woman :( What a horrible family

knittedbreast · 23/08/2011 12:26

but the person got ill before they found out they were cursed, so that argument dousnt fit.

Original poster
WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 12:29

Empusa I know. Even her sister's have hidden things like pregnancies from her, incase she gets wind. It is sad.

knittedbreast You don't have to know you have been cursed to be ill.

OP posts:
ObviouslyOblivious · 23/08/2011 12:30

I often find balls of hair in my house. I need to Hoover more.

Empusa · 23/08/2011 12:31

"knittedbreast You don't have to know you have been cursed to be ill."

People are ill all the time, it's pretty damn normal. And doesn't involve any cursing.

ThatllDoPig · 23/08/2011 12:31

I think the energy created by thought or prayer or wishing someone good or harm, is real, and the energy goes somewhere. I know I've had negativity directed towards me and have had to protect myself. I also know that I've benefitted beyond words by the power of prayer.
There is so much out there that we don't understand yet.
But I do believe it is also true that we get back what we give, and wishing someone harm will ultimately return to you as negativity. We really do reap what we sow on a spiritual level.

summertimeblews · 23/08/2011 12:33

I often find balls of hair in my house. I need to Hoover more.

me too, some days i could knit a new dog with the fluff

CotesduRhone · 23/08/2011 12:36

Not flaming, but absolutely and categorically no. It's 'confirmation bias' - when something bad happens, in an effort to explain it, you remember anything that confirms your belief that black magic can be possible. A pin cushion being found under a chair the day before you suddenly found the shoes you had lost (or whatever) would just not be remembered.

It's human nature to try and attribute explanations and reasons to things which happen randomly.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 23/08/2011 12:42

No. But, like others, I do think that the mind is a powerful thing and if you believe that you are cursed or jinxed, then you are! You may become physically ill - the mind is powerful enough! Or you may just be aware of every little thing, things that otherwise you would shrug off, you will keep hold of and use as evidence of some sort of curse - while not noticing those things that happen that are good. Because they don't fit in with your idea that you are jinxed.

Same sort of thing - my parents - they are convinced that everything in their lives is shit. That nothing ever goes right for them. They can recite things that happened thirty bloody YEARS ago as evidence that everything always goes wrong for them.

But they cannot remember the good things. The times that something great happened. And if you remind them of it, they disregard it or say yes but... and give you a reason why it was bad. And when something good happens, they go straight to it SEEMS good but it won't work/will turn out bad/this terrible thing will happen.

So, of course, everything in their life is shit. Because that's all they are willing to see. They have built up this picture of their life and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge anything that doesn't fit in with that.

I think that people who think they are cursed, behave in that exact way. They remember the time they stepped in a puddle, but not the time they found a pound in the street. They remember the time the car broke down but not the time it sailed through its MOT. They attach significance to the 'bad' things but none to the 'good' things.

They CALL them 'bad' and 'good' things, as though something is being done to them!

Xiaoxiong · 23/08/2011 12:43

OP that's not just sad about your family member - it is scapegoating of the most horrendous kind. It's so cruel.

That's what really bothers me about superstitions - the more extreme ones have the potential to genuinely hurt people, in actual concrete ways.

Pandemoniaa · 23/08/2011 12:44

The scapegoating thing is often a very important part of bolstering a belief in what I'll call, for simplicity, "black magic". Because someone has to have the sort of unfortunate luck that everyone else needs to avoid. If there isn't a tangible and named example then the belief system itself is more readily questioned.

AMumInScotland · 23/08/2011 12:44

I don't believe the woman's comment caused the bad luck. Unless the man was worried and made a mistake at work because of it, which led to his having the accident. Poor woman having to go through life being shunned because of superstition Sad

As to the splatters of blood - surely most people end the day with unexplained marks on their clothes. Or is that just me? Grin If I was looking for "blood spatters" on my clothes, I'm sure I'd find them. But they would probably be mud or sauce or something else.

knittedbreast · 23/08/2011 12:47

no of course not, i mean that if you get ill and then find some sort of voodoo thing in your house you are likely to say the illness was voodoo.
against thinking you might be cursed and then becming ill as you imagine it.

Original poster
WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 12:50

ThatllDoPig I also believe that if you wish harm on someone, it will come back around to them and the people they hold dear to themselves. I have tried to protect myself through prayer, and feel that I am protected now.

CotesduRhone I completely understand what you are (and what alot of other people) are saying. That your mind can attribute explanations. That is why I think there is a very fine line between attributing the bad luck in your life to bad luck or a curse. For example, if I fail an exam or lose a ring I wouldn't blame a curse, but continous bad luck and bouts of family unrest I could attribute to a curse. I don't know why.

OP posts:
HairyGrotter · 23/08/2011 12:50

No, I don't believe in magic in any form.

I believe in the power of the mind, it's ability to trick itself and so forth, but certainly no 'other wordly' forces play a part in life. It's just not science Wink.

Belief is a strong power fueled by suggestion...load of old guff IMO

Original poster
WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 12:54

TheMagificent I think you have said something very important there. I know a friend whos mother has lost everything through blaming people on black magic. Her husband doesn't get on with her, her children don't respect her anymore, her family aren't close to her, all because she spent her life blaming people for bad things in her life.

OP posts:
TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 23/08/2011 12:58

something horrible happens - who is to blame? who has done this to me?

It's not my fault, it is someone else's fault.
It isn't just random, because I do not want to think that bad things can happen for no reason, that makes me feel unsafe. Therefore bad things must happen for a REASON - but this reason cannot be my fault because that would also make me feel bad. therefore, I must be the victim of an intentional act from someone else.

candytuft63 · 23/08/2011 12:59

Jinxes/hexes/curses only work if you know someone has placed such a thing to attack you. Its all auto-suggestion.IMHO.

garlicbutter · 23/08/2011 13:08

I've lived in a country where magic is considered routine. It's all about mind-tricks and confirmation bias. Somebody put some chicken tails and stuff outside my door once - that's a curse. I cleared it up. Nothing untoward happened.

I have also had many paranormal experiences. I now know they were psychotic episodes. Even sane people (not that I am one Grin ) can have them under certain circumstances, especially stress.

The human mind is an icnredible instrument. People who claim to practise magic know it, and use it to their advantage.

Friends who get spooked by those chain emails & stuff send 'em to me! I delete up to twenty a day but haven't noticed any 'curses' yet ... unless the chickweed invasion of my garden is the best they can do.

Original poster
WonderingHead · 23/08/2011 13:10

The reason why I think I was cursed, was because the woman who I personally blame, once took my sister with her to a man who practised black magic. She went there and asked him what her husband really thought of her, and things like that. My sister was shocked at what she was witnessing, and we cut off all contact. This woman was a very close relative.

So when you see someone do something with your own eyes, does that still make assumptions and blame null or void?

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