Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think I have given birth to a little dictator?

36 replies

wimpofawoman · 22/08/2011 11:00

My 8 year old DS wants to take over from Mr Ghaddafi I think. And I've bloody well had enough. I can't take anymore of his behaviour, demands, tantrums, bullying of siblings, complaining that his life is rubbish and that I'm the meanest Mummy he's ever had(?)

I've just told him he's not going to his friend's house tomorrow. There's going to be an almighty scene when he remembers in the morning. Especially as younger sis will still be going, to play with DS' friend's sister. But he's not going. The rudeness and disobedience I've had today have exceeded even his impressive levels.

Are some kids just like this? Please tell me I'm not alone. I believe that I'm firm, fair, and consistent, I have not shouted (much) or smacked, and I follow through with consequences. So why does he still fight me all the way on every little thing?

aarrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 22/08/2011 15:22

You are doing the right thing. THis is a crucial age, because in a couple of years time, if he has been allowed to get away with being an obnoxious brat, he will turn into an even more obnoxious teenager, who will be a lot harder to control. At 8, you can shape him... by the time he is 12, it really does become a lot more difficult to do.

Original poster

wimpofawoman · 22/08/2011 15:29

Thanks for the support. I know this is the right thing really. He's just soooo determined and does not want to listen, and while I think his strength of character will be a great asset in 10 years' time or so, right now he needs to understand that I will not be worn down by him (not offically anyway ). It's just so bloody exhausting knowing that he will fight everything I ask him to do/stop doing. And so unfair on my other dcs who sometimes get a raw deal if I'm not really careful.

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 22/08/2011 15:29

I think you've been very calm and reasonable, but you do have to stick to what you said or he will never respect your word. Going back on what you said will cause more damage than if you'd never said it at all.

What he said to you was way out of line. Mine would have been banished to his room until bedtime as well as having the play date cancelled.

It's also important that your other children see you tackling this and that his behaviour has consequences. you will have problems with them if they see him speaking to you like shit and getting away with it.

MrsRobertDuvall · 22/08/2011 15:32

Perhaps you could be really mean, and say " oh I wonder what your sister is doing right now"

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 15:32

Well my (cynical) DH says DS would be diagnosed with LSD - Little Shit Disorder

MissBeehiving · 22/08/2011 15:33

I have a 7 year old DS - you are not alone! These are a few little snippets from this week;

A huge huff, when I kissed his younger brother first.

"You don't love me and make me feel stupid" when I didn't arrive instantaneously at his side when he needed some help on his mecchano.

Going to his room and slamming the door when his boomerang didn't come back.

On the other hand he was an absolute angel yesterday . Stand firm, you're doing the right thing.

Original poster

wimpofawoman · 22/08/2011 15:36

Karma, his siblings are starting to get fed up with him too. DD1 now stands up for DD2 who he is often really mean to (jealousy I suppose). DD1 and DS used to get on very well, so it's a shame.

OP posts:

EssentialFattyAcid · 22/08/2011 16:12

I think you are quite right not to accept "Why can't you do it? Are you lazy or something??"

If the two of you will be home alone tomorrow maybe you could both work together on a job for a bit of bonding time and a chance for him to make things up to you.

IT may be that something had happened at school that had upset him earlier in the day perhaps? this is where I think playful parenting is good as you can find out what went wrong at school through play much more easily than through talking!

MrsPresley · 22/08/2011 16:16

Well my (cynical) DH says DS would be diagnosed with LSD - Little Shit Disorder.

He will grow out of LSD evenutally you know, he will then develop PMT.....Permanetly Moody Teenager

amicissima · 22/08/2011 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

wimpofawoman · 22/08/2011 17:03

I feel he is quite immature, overall the outbursts are getting fewer but he still really struggles to control himself at all. He also doesn't CARE what anyone thinks, wouldn't bother him at all if people were staring. I just try really hard to stay calm with him (not easy), rather than have both of us shouting.

I'll talk to him tomorrow about how he thinks he could stop himself being rude. I suspect he will say something like "if you were not mean to me". He NEVER accepts any blame.

EFA I don't think anything specific happened, he has always been like this.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2