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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - back from the caravan.....

45 replies

CoffeeDog · 22/08/2011 08:58

Yes you lot were right...

SIL managed to 'luckily' get us the caravan next door from them.....

Which men't her 6 kids (not the SN one) came over to our caravan or 'played out' and therefore we were responsable for them...

Dog stayed in front room with us and wanted a wee EVERYday at 5am It refused to go to bed woth MIL

MIL and Husband got home late EVERYNIGHT -and managed to sleep in just enough so we had to start cooked breakfasts ;)

Kids woke up at crack of dawn

SIL would send kids to our caravan every mornig as soon as they had eaten

Parents not putting swim nappies on their kids caused the pool to be closed repeatedly

also found shit piles in the 'kids club' room

thankfully not woken up with noisey MIL sex ... but there was a lot of you all go ahead and we will catch you up... ;)

After stinky dogs (wet from river) lay on my clothes i ~HAD to go to the lauderette _FOR 4 HOURS :) to get the smell out ;)

Made hubby take all the kids out for the day yesterday just so i could have some peace...

Of course MIL is suguesting we do it all again for easter!!!

OP posts:

NestaFiesta · 23/08/2011 10:13

If I were you OP I would never speak to my DH again until he apologised and realised what it was like for me.

Send them all on their little Easter holiday without you and when they have to mind their own kids and look after their own dogs and do their own cooking, it won't be quite such a "wonderful time" for everybody.

AMumInScotland · 23/08/2011 10:36

Well, it was what you expected then.

I think you need to make DH understand that "we" did not have a wonderful holiday. And that you will never do it again. And that any suggestions of it happening again are to be refused by him very promptly.

You really didn't have to put up with any of that while you were there - you clearly decided that you didn't want to make a fuss, but that was your choice, nobody put a gun to your head.

NestaFiesta · 23/08/2011 10:40

AMUmInScotland- whilst I agree with you that OP didn't have to go along with it at the time, I can see how it would be difficult to refuse.

She was vastly outnumbered and by being an in law, kind of an outsider.

It might have felt easier to go along with it at the time than end up causing outrage and getting picked on. Sounds like noses would have have been firmly out of joint if OP had said "Why am I doing this? Why not you?" By letting her do all these things for them, the in laws were already bullying her.

AMumInScotland · 23/08/2011 10:57

On the previous thread, she said she was going to get the train home if her husband wasn't supportive - she had a backup plan for not having to put up with this treatment. But she then didn't follow through with that.

Whatmeworry · 23/08/2011 11:13

She did the right thing in the circumstances but everyone was having a holiday at her expense. IF you go next time make sure DH changes the rules (own caravan, no dogs would help for eg) or will get the same outcome.

lachesis · 23/08/2011 11:49

If your DH thinks it was wonderful, too, sounds like you'll continue being a doormat to the lot of them.

Ach, well, that's your choice.

DontGoCurly · 23/08/2011 11:53

It sounds like hell on Earth.

Why?

Why did you go?

cjbartlett · 23/08/2011 11:59

Do you have children of your own?

Oblomov · 23/08/2011 12:06

I simply can not comprehend why anyone would subject themselves to this sort of treatemnrt. You really need to discover some self worth and grow a spine.

NestaFiesta · 23/08/2011 16:38

OP- have you talked to your DH about this and really explained what it was like for you?

Original poster

CoffeeDog · 24/08/2011 14:24

I have tried he just says it was a 'nice break'......

His Fil is comming over on friday and taking oldest to SIL for the day (ALL his family run about after her) I did ask if he could take the twins as well.... but he said he dosn't think they will cope...???? (hour each way in the car)

Still waiting for the day when someone/anyone has ALL 3 kids :(

OP posts:

lachesis · 24/08/2011 14:29

'Still waiting for the day when someone/anyone has ALL 3 kids '

Why not get a spine and one day leave him with all 3 and go off and shop?

femalevictormeldrew · 24/08/2011 14:55

Repeat after me:

NEVER. AGAIN.

I would not put myself through this type of thing for ANYONE.

deemented · 24/08/2011 15:00

I went on holiday to a caravan this year. With manshape, four DC and.... manshape ex, dss's mother.

That was fun..

Your holiday sounds much worse than mine.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 25/08/2011 08:34

Your problem is not your ILs (although they do sound dire) your problem is your husband. How nice that he thought you had had a nice break. (Does he ever give you time to yourself away from the dcs? e.g. a full day to meet up with a friend, go on a day out or something?)

I can understand why you went - your mil booked your family unit a caravan holiday, you then told the dcs who were excited, then MIL tells you your caravan will be a cramped hell hole with her, her other half, her two dogs, and grandad. Oh and SIL would also be there palming her brood off onto you. She engineered it so if you didn't go you would have disappointed the dcs, very sly. I still wouldn't have gone though - but I'm harsh like that.

What I don't understand is why you put up with so much piss taking while you were there!?!

MrsRobertDuvall · 25/08/2011 08:48

Have you "mug"tattoed across your forehead?
Why do women do this?
I do not go camping/caravanning. I do not go away with extended family. I do not have smelly dogs sleeping in my accommodation.
I say no.
Not that dh would do any of the above either.

prettybird · 25/08/2011 09:08

I agree that the problem is not your ILs but with your relationship with your dh.

You need to sit him down and say in words of one syllable that whatever he thought of the holiday, it was not a holiday for you , that it was not "a nice break" and that you will not* be going on such holidays in future.

Tell him too that if he though it was such a nice break, that he is welcome to take the kids and go to the caravan with his parents/sister in future, but that you will be staying behind.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 25/08/2011 10:14

I go camping in tents and caravanning - but I am clear with anyone we go with that cooking and pot washing will be shared, that I like things tidy and that we will not all be glued together for the entire time (I usually do a few days with a friend and her dcs, and a few days just me and DS). This stance also translates to home life, I am a single parent and DS is autistic but even he is expected to make his own bed, and can put a wash on from laundry basket to turning it on.

It should be a holiday for all involved! If you act like a doormat then expect to get trodden on!

You seem like a lovely person coffeedog, maybe you are too nice and people are taking advantage of that?

Schnullerbacke · 25/08/2011 10:57

I also went camping (in camper) with manshape. Really, if I had taken three kids I wouldnt have noticed the difference. It was a combination of beach and mountains. When I say beach, I dont mean lying on the beach all day, I mean walking on the beach and collecting shells. Until manshape started to get all anal about - sand -. 'Kids, dont play here, the sand will come into the car'. I really need to wash my feet to get all that dirty sand off me'. 'There is sand everywhere'. Yes dear, that is the nature of sand. You take a brush and then its all gone. He's been on beach hoidays before so its not like he's allergic to sand. At the end of the day he was lucky I didnt turn him into sand. The whining, honestly. You'd never guess he was a man in a 'proper man job'.

We were also doing some wild camping. What is it with men and having to find the perfect parking spot? 'Love, there are mountain views all around, why dont we stop here for tonight'? Manshape: 'but its the wrong kind of mountains'. Baaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Honestly, my two small kids were less hard work then him.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 26/08/2011 11:36

Er CoffeeDog . . . I think you need to get a back bone. Think about your own needs for once, if you don't then no one else will by the sounds of it.

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