rubbish friend

[greengirl87]

i recently went back up north to stay with my mum for a couple of days. I got in touch with a friend (whose daughter is friends with my daughter and whose son is my godson) to see if we could go and visit her. She said they were at the coast with family and she would see if she could come back (about 45min drive) to see us. I aslo offerd for us to go up to the coast. She said she would ring me and let me know, and i still havnt heard from her 3 weeks later! We dont get up very often (last time was for her childrens bdays in feb)My patner says i shouldnt bother with her anymore as she has always been very unreliable, but i dont know if i can give up on her completely!!!
Help!!!!

You should have given her more notice.
My answer would have been sorry I'm away, I wouldn't have even offered to get in the car for 1 1/2 hours.
February isn't that long ago.

She was on a day out, busy with her family. She may have even forgotten about your call too.

I would have insisted my friend not drive back from the coast to see me, as she was spending time with her family and would feel it unfair to expect her to put me before them. I think you were BU to expect that she might. greengirl is right, February wasn't that long ago in the scheme of things.

Sorry, not greengirl, I meant singlefostermum is right.

But i still havnt heard anything from her! I didnt expect her to come back she offered, and i also offered to travel to see her.

Wonder what she's saying about you?

Aibu to ditch my friend who rocks up with no notice and expects me to give up my holiday time with my family to drive back and see her.
She also invited herself on my holiday but I wasn't having that.
Don't think I'll bother ringing her again, her Dh is a bit of a tit aswell.

Why don't you ring her yourself?

Alright calm down! I had rang her on the sunday morning trying to arrange something for the wednesday its not like i rang her on the day! I repeat i did not ask her to come back, she had said she would see if she could, and i had offered to drive up to her for the day because she had asked me if i wanted to stay over with her family at the sea side but i couldnt stay as i felt it would be intruding!

I think you've made your mind up on this one. Obviously your friend's completely in the wrong and butter simply won't melt in your mouth..

YABVU! You say that you didn't 'expect her' to come back, yet her offer and then your imposition offer of intruding on a family holiday joining them on their holiday make up your entire post! You sound bonkers.

Yabu

She probably just forgot to get back to you. Why don't you call her?

Be a good friend - phone her and find out.

Yabu and you must know you are.

She maybe just feels embarrassed that she didn't get back to you?

I think you've put your friend in a spot, OP. She didn't want to outright turn you down but you seem quite impervious to hints. I suspect that she won't let you put her in that position again, you just didn't give her an 'out' at all - her options were either that she drive to see you or you were going to see her, no question of whether you'd be welcome or imposing or mannerly.

If you do value friendship at all, make it easy for people to counter-offer your suggestions - or better still, back off and let them make them, maybe.

I think you're rude to tell posters to 'calm down' too, the only aerated poster is you... relax!