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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DH going away....

29 replies

blueskydrinking · 19/08/2011 14:26

...on my birthday weekend.

Work trip, optional rather than an 'order'.

Birthday on Thursday, he plans to go on Friday.

It's really the only time he's away from home overnight, this event just happens to fall on the weekend of my birthday. Every year.

It really pisses me off, although I appreciate I'm not 5 and should maybe just get over the whole birthday thing.

Go on. I can take it.

OP posts:
fifitrixibellesmith · 19/08/2011 14:29

are you 12 or under?

beckybrastraps · 19/08/2011 14:33

Could you not celebrate the weekend before?

cricketballs · 19/08/2011 14:34

at least you will get your present on the right day Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/08/2011 14:34

This is MN so expect lots of messages about how YABU for wanting a nice birthday. I love my birthday (and it lasts a good week) so I understand. I second beckybrastraps. Celebrate the weekend before.

beckybrastraps · 19/08/2011 14:41

Lord yes. I don't want to get over the birthday thing. I love it. But it can be a moveable feast - that's OK!

Original poster
blueskydrinking · 19/08/2011 14:44

hehe thank you!

And thank you MrsTerryPratchett for being nice to me Grin

yep just needed a bit of a virtual slap, I know that I'm BU but, well. It's my birthday

I'm telling you though, there'll be trouble if he goes ON my birthday next year, I don't care what you say.......

OP posts:
Patopopo · 19/08/2011 14:45

I can empathize. Its your special day/long weekend and you want your DH to be around for you. Still if he is helping advancing his job/career and that pays for your family then its probably not a bad thing. Hopefully you can have a lovely birthday together on Thursday evening and celebrate a long weekend either the weekend prior or at another time.

OTheHugeRaveningWolef · 19/08/2011 14:48

YABU. I spent my birthday trapped under 18 tons of half-frozen kippers, with strawberry flavoured Instant Whip up my nose, trying to deliver a litter of pigs. Count yourself lucky you have a birthday at all.

Gonzo33 · 19/08/2011 14:49

Definately do it the week before. I have sympathy - my husband goes away a LOT for business purposes and regularly misses birthdays (kids and mine and his). It gets really annoying but it is his job so can't do much about it. So instead we make sure we have a special day/night at another time.

fortyplus · 19/08/2011 14:56

OMG so he's there on your actual birthday and you're in a strop that he's going away the next day ?? YABVU

HeyYouJimmy · 19/08/2011 14:58

YABU. You said yourself that your birthday is on the Thursday so why not celebrate it then by putting the kids to bed and having a bottle of wine and a takeaway and then it won't matter if your DH goes on this work trip.

MrsCampbellBlack · 19/08/2011 14:59

Birthday weekend - are you the queen? Wink

Gosh, I don't make a big thing about my birthday and wouldn't think twice if DH was away on business on it.

So yes, pull yourself together and stop being a silly sausage Wink

DizzyKipper · 19/08/2011 15:03

It's not your DH's fault the work trip falls on your birthday weekend every year (granted it must be frustrating). If he was with you for it how would you celebrate? And couldn't you just do that on the other weekend instead?

OohThatsMyTractor · 19/08/2011 15:10

I would also be a bit annoyed OP, after all birthday celebrations the weekend before your birthday aren't quite the same as when you're birthday has happened during the week and it's a continuation of the birthday celebrations IYSWIM.

Birthdays are a big deal in our family (no matter how old you are!) much more than Christmas because your birthday is your special day and Christmas Day has to be shared with the rest of the world!

Why does he have this work trip on the same weekend every year anyway? [nosey emoticon] Personally I can't think of anything worse than having to spend one of my precious weekends, my personal time, with my work colleagues, it's bad enough having to see them Monday to Friday as it is! Grin

OohThatsMyTractor · 19/08/2011 15:10
  • your birthday
pictish · 19/08/2011 15:13

Yabu.
He will be there for your actual birthday....so I don't see the problem. You are a grown up I assume?

Does your birthday HAVE to span 3 days?

QuintessentialShadow · 19/08/2011 15:16

yabu.

NEXT!

Wink

I just had to do that. JUST once.

(it felt good)

Original poster
blueskydrinking · 19/08/2011 15:17

Ohthehuge that really made me chuckle.

pictish it's not really the span that is the problem... after all, it will now last for 5 days Grin

OP posts:
michglas · 19/08/2011 15:23

I really don't get the whole birthday thing, if we didn't have children then DH and I would happily not do birthdays, christmas etc. There are afterall 365 days in a year for DH to make me feel special and buy me nice pressies so why narrow it down to a couple of occasions :)

Original poster
blueskydrinking · 19/08/2011 15:23

*othehuge, sorry

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 19/08/2011 15:26

What do you actually want to do on the weekend after your birthday? Do you mean a family day trip or a Saturday night meal out ?

bananapirate · 19/08/2011 15:28

of course yabu

Ephiny · 19/08/2011 15:29

I don't get the whole birthday thing for adults either. And surely you can celebrate on a different day, if you do want to do something?

Ephiny · 19/08/2011 15:29

Wait, he will actually be there for your birthday, just not for the weekend after?

Do we have birthday weekends now - it it like hen nights expanding to encompass entire weekends?

YABU of course, but I think you know that by now :)

upahill · 19/08/2011 15:32

I would harumph a bit if I was you.
We are always on holiday for my birthday so I expect all my cards to be delivered before I go away so I can put them up on holiday.
My birthday is a huge deal to me ( it never used to be but over the last 20 odd years DH has made it really good so I have come to expect it )

However in your case it can't be helped. Just have a great Thursday.

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