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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find this responce to headlice a bit annoying...

26 replies

festi · 16/08/2011 12:14

Just dying my hair and found some eggs, checked dds hair and she had a few eggs too. she has spent the past few weeks playing very closesly with 3 families children, so just txt the three mums and said may want to check kids hair as had to treat dd for nits.

All responded back thanks for letting me know hope she hasn't given it to dc's.

maybe just me but assuming dd is spreading them is just a bit rude and no wonder there is such a stigma.

OP posts:

passingtime · 16/08/2011 12:15

YABU, all kids get headlice don't get touchy about it

worraliberty · 16/08/2011 12:16

I think part of the problem is that there is no longer a 'stigma' attached to head lice.

I know it's obviously good that the stigma has gone...but at the same time, the 'shame' of having a head full of lice was what used to make parents regularly check and treat the whole family.

Now it seems as though so many don't give a shit...they simply say "Oh well, it's one of those things"

worraliberty · 16/08/2011 12:19

Oh and the thought of anyone's child being handed 'the brown envelope' when Nitty Nora visited the school, was also something that made parents take more notice.

I'm not saying kids should be embarrassed that way and I'm glad things have moved on....but at the same time, head lice seem to be way more of a problem now.

knobbysEx · 16/08/2011 12:19

YANBU. There is still such a stigma attached to having them. You absolutely did the right thing

checking your kids' hair
treating the problem
informing everyone you've been in contact with to check too.

It's awful when your house has this problem, and who hasn't had it at least once? No need to be so rude about it.

itisnearlysummer · 16/08/2011 12:20

Agree with worra.

I check my children's and mine after every hair wash with a nittygritty. And do find 'evidence' more often than I would like.

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 12:20

do other parents tell each other if thier child has nits?

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 16/08/2011 12:21

I think you are being unreasonable actually.

That's the same response you'd get if your DD had anything that could have been caught by other children, chickenpox, a cold- whatever.

Of course she's going to hope her children don't have them, who wants to have to treat for headlice?

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 12:23

I wouldnt respond like that to cold chicken pox etc to be honest.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 16/08/2011 12:23

Of course she's going to hope her children don't have them, who wants to have to treat for headlice?

I think the OP is upset at the assumption her child may be the one spreading them...rather than the one getting them from the kids whose Mums she sent the texts too IYSWIM.

Either way, they spread and no-one knows who's giving them to who.

tabulahrasa · 16/08/2011 12:28

But she will have been out there spreading them around, just as whoever she caught them off was as well.

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 12:28

just that she could have got them anywhere at the park, from those children, at the library. I wouldnt make an assumption, I supose im being a bit UR. Im not terribly offended though just found it an odd responce and a bit rude.

OP posts:

suzikettles · 16/08/2011 12:32

YANBU.

"thanks for letting me know" would have been enough. The text did rather smack of an insinuation that your dd was spreading the lice - which of course she may have, but equally the other children could have been the source.

scuzy · 16/08/2011 12:32

are you not adding to the stigma by getting the hump at the assumption that your kid has the mother ship of lice in her hair?

fwiw, i would be appreciating the fact that you told me and deal with it pronto rather than mulling over who gave it to who.

kittensliveupstairs · 16/08/2011 12:33

Your DC could have been spreading them.

scuzy · 16/08/2011 12:35

actually YOU could have infected all the kids! lol

sorry couldnt resist. does it matter really??? just treat you and your kids, simple as.

tabulahrasa · 16/08/2011 12:36

Of course they can get then anywhere, I just genuinely wouldn't take that as blaming your DD so much as just hoping their child doesn't have them.

If someone texted me, and knowing that my DD was clear when I checked her last and then I found some - I'd assume she probably caught them from that child.

I wouldn't be blaming them though because my child would have also been spreading them until the next time I checked her hair without the text.

I might say something similar, but I wouldn't mean - I hope your child hasn't wilfully been spreading headlice, just more hoping that I wasn't going to have to treat mine.

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 12:36

she could well have been spreading them I know that, but I would not have dremt of texting to say dd has nits can you check they havent come from your dc's as that would be equally as rude.

OP posts:

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 16/08/2011 12:37

My daughter's old school was a lousy nit-fest. A fair percentage of parents couldn't give a rats. That was the annoying thing for the rest of us, and probably for their poor kids.

Kind of agre with what worra is saying. The stigma was a bad thing, but the preventative measures it brought were a blessing to the school as a whole. Wonder if there's any way to bring back the 'check and treat' culture without having the nastiness of the rest of it? :(

Touch wood, my daughter hasn't has a single louse since changing school half way though year 1, she's moving up to year 4 in a couple of weeks. Still do a quick check every sodding time I brush her hair though. Wet comb once a week too. Paranoid much?

TheMonster · 16/08/2011 12:40

what did your text say? Perhaps they just took it as a warning rather than you blaming them.
Either way, who knows where they came from and there's no point blaming each other.

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 12:43

I agree Body thats why I text and found thier responce a bit unusual. I just said; just to let you know have just treated dd for nits so you may want to check dcs hair.

OP posts:

TheMonster · 16/08/2011 13:04

I would take that as you suggesting that your DD may have passed it on.

Namechangeoshame · 16/08/2011 13:18

It's possible that all 3 other mums had given their DCs a thorough delouse at end of term (a good time) so they really did know it wasn't their fault.

Or they just didn't have time to type "hope A hasn't now got it (or that my A didn't give it to your B)"

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 13:23

possibly but its been 3 weeks since the end of term. Id hope they have been checked since then.

OP posts:

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 16/08/2011 13:39

YANBU. But maybe other mums felt you were insinuating their DCs had infected yours so decided to turn it on you.

All the hysteria around who spread the lice is a bit pathetic really.

I would just check your own DCs hair regularly, keep it your private business and leave it up to them whether to check their DCs hair.

Original poster

festi · 16/08/2011 13:43

thats probably the best bet tbh dolldaggabuzzbuzz.

OP posts:

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