to keep accepting hand me downs

[create]

I have a lovely friend I've known since our DC were babies. Now they're at different schools we don't see that much of each other, but do try and meet up in the hols.

We've had a great day today, really relaxed by the sea. 4 DC played together beautifully with no issues and we took a picnic, so spent exactly £0!!

My friend is very comfortably off. We're comfortable too (fingers crossed!) but not like them (not relevant except for the fact that she never sells anything secondhand, but I often do). Her DS1 is the same age as mine but much taller, so over the years I've benefited greatly from hand me downs, which she always says she's glad to be rid of and see them get used. Today I've brought home a bag of clothers which will make DS1's entire winter wardrobe quite adequately. She's also offered me his bike, which he's too big for but will suit my DS2 brilliantly.

Again she says we're more than welcome and she doesn't want any cash, but really, a bike? She does quite a bit of charity findraising, so surely the least I must do is make some sort of donation. But how much?

Hand me downs are brilliant (please read that in a Fast Show voice)

I had DD1 who handed down to DN1
I had DS1 who handed down t DN1 and DN2 (are you following we are onto nephews now)

Whenever my DSis (much richer than me) sold anything with any life left in it, either hers or mine, she sent me a cheque for the amount she 'won'. Everybody happy. Apart possible from DNephew2 who might have occasionally have had 5th hand babygrowbags. But he was a baby, what did he know?

Maybe buy the kids a tshirt each, or a game to share to say thank you for being generous?

That was a seriously confusing post.
And I posted it.

Mmmm Gewurtsraminer.

Osh kosh dungarees will be the only thing that endures at the end of world..

I think your friend no longer needs the items but hates to see things she has loved go to waste.

I would accept them with good grace and not offer any money.

I don't think your friend wants anything in return.

The way good friendships go there will come a point, naturally, where you can be helpful to her in some way and then you can "repay" the favour.

Please don't give cash. I was once given cash as a thank you for hand me down items and I have to admit I was a bit offended.

We all know we can car boot or ebay stuff if we want cash for them and she could have done this to support her chosen charities too if that is what she had wanted.

She is a good friend, trying to be a good friend.

OriginalPoster, I now have a mental picture of cockroaches wearing dungas...

I Love Hand me Downs!
Better than shop bought clothes, anyday!
They have a history, a story.

I accept all hand me downs with the good grace I would give them.

I Love seeing my DDs old clothes on the DD of a good friend! Even though I know that the way she washes her clothes somehow strips them of their colour and density. It is just such a joy to see them again and remember when my own DD was small.

We were given a bike, when DD was just a toddler, from a guy my DH knew in the pub.
Is it bad that it never even occurred to me to offer anything in return than a big big thank you?
It was in pretty good nick but also quite old, but, that wasn't why I never offered money, it just didn't seem appropriate.
The same guy also gave us a bike seat.
I just figured he was happy to get stuff cleared out.
He was almost apologetic as he handed them over, but we were/are so grateful!

I give stuff - I am honestly glad to get it out of the house taking up space once dd has outgrown it. I do sell the occasional thing, but rarely.

Would love to get more handmedown clothes but no family or close friends with older enough children. But did gets loads of baby stuff handed down from a friend which I hugely appreciated.

What I have had is from someone at work who has grandchildren - they have given lots of stuff including car seat, bike - really nice of them, must do a thank you card from dd.....

twinklingfairy I know what you mean about people being apologetic sometimes they say that they hope you haven"t been offended by them asking. I"m never offended! I really believe people do not want to see clothes they"ve paid good money for in a bin.I take it for what it is - and hand down in turn.

I get hand me downs and often buy something token for the child I have been given from, ie an inexpensive out fit or voucher. I dont think incomes into it, i also hand down to friend who is far better off than me, owns own buisness doing very very well and Im a lone student parent. I think its more to do with seeing good stuff going to waste.

I'd use the bike until DC2 grows out of it (unless you have DC3), then sell it and give the money to one of her charities.

A lot of people genuinely cannot be arsed with selling on eBay and if you agree to list things for people they fall on you with gratitude (I've just sold a lamp for a friend and my brother's superseded iPhone is awaiting listing).

What goes around comes around ... I get bags of this and that from quite a few friends and rellies and anything that doesn't get used gets passed on. I'd much rather someone get more use out of something than see it chucked away ...