..to think 'respect' should be a given until it is lost?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

A lot of talk about buzzword 'respect' at the moment and the idea that it somehow has to be earned. I think that sounds rather arrogant. Anyone we come into contact with deserves to be treated with respect as a default - comon courtesy, good manners etc. - and that only changes if they do or say something to lose our respect. 'Treat others as you would expect to be treated'

AIBU?

Cogito, I like number 3 in your definitions.

I agree with Ormirian, it is overused and it feels to me as if it's starting to lose its meaning. For that reason I'd still rather use the word 'courtesy' or 'consideration' in the context of the basic level of politeness with which I treat everyone and hope to be treated.

So the automatic assumption for many is, 'you might not be someone I like and appreciate so I'll be civil but no more'. Not a good example.

That's what I meant, Trillian, sorry. I agreed with that part but not the rest. Too early for me to word things well, apparently.

I agree with OTheHugeManatee.
I am polite and courteous to everyone, but actual respect for that person has to be earned.
I don't expect anyone to respect me but I hope that they are polite to me as I am to them.

How do you 'respect' someone you don't know pointy. They might be closet Nazi's or wife-beaters. Respect is more than being polite - it's about having admiration for someone.

No, I don't think respect is about admiring someone. People have become really hung up about the word and I think that's mainly as a knee-jerk reaction against doing anything they feel they are 'told' to do. Cog's third definition was:

1. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

That's all anyone means by 'show respect'.

And there's the assumption that we shouldn't respect anyone because they might be a wife-beater!

So negative, so quick to give the cold shoulder. I think that's what our society is like.

Pointy - I am far from negative! I said earlier that I would assume that everyone was 'worthy of respect' - ie my default position is to assume the best. But true respect is much more than just being polite and pleasant - it comes from the heart. You can't respect someone just because you think you should.

I also think the word has been massively overused and misused. It has come to mean 'do what I say because I am older than you' when said about young people, and 'let me get on with it even though you can see I am an overentitled little git who is going to get into trouble' when said to older people by teenagers. It has also been hijacked by an alarming amount of scary people on MN who are actually itching to give a few uppity teenagers a quick slap!

Courtesy comes as standard. Anything else has to be earned.

Yes, I think that's its problem. The word has been overused so people just squabble over definitions.

And I hate that phrase 'it has to be earned'. That smacks of superiority much more than 'show respect'. You work hard for it then I'll give it to you. No sense of the person giving it having to work, hard or otherwise.

:) @ "make my teeth itch"

As far as 'respect', many good comments here however it's true that the word seems to have become hijacked by some groups to mean "you must fear me" i.e. if they are not shown "respect" then they retaliate violently.

Will this word eventually become misused by the majority, as has hapened to other perfectly good terms?

"Gay". Very few people seem to realise it does not only mean homosexual.

"Holocaust". My daughter's teacher - with a University education and in full posession of a BEd and a PGCE (so she is hardly illiterate) would not accept that this had meanings other than the extermination of Jews in WW2! At least she had the grace to apologise after looking in a dictionary.

With holocaust it depends on whether you say it with a capital H or not. :o