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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider allowing dd (12) to fly alone?

44 replies

TriggersBroom · 15/08/2011 09:15

DD is going to visit some family friends in Paris soon. We'll take her over for a weekend and drop her at their house.

On the way back, they'll take her to Paris CDG and check her in. There is an option to send her as an Unaccompanied Minor with the airline, but she thinks she'll be fine (she is a very mature 12yo and is used to flying). DH is happy with this, but I'm wavering a bit.

All she needs to do is go through security, find the gate and follow the signs to collect her luggage at the other end, I suppose. She'll be arriving at a regional airport and we'll obviously meet her. But her French isn't that great if she gets into difficulties at CDG...

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
lovelybertha · 15/08/2011 12:04

Would she be flying to a London airport? Have you considered the train instead?

Okay, it takes a bit longer, but she could be waved off in Paris and met directly from the train in London.

lovelybertha · 15/08/2011 12:06

Sorry - just saw she'll be flying to a regional airport.

ceebie · 15/08/2011 12:19

I used to fly as an UM a lot around the same age (boarding school when my parents lived abroad). I found it very annoying to be chaperoned as I knew where I was going and what to do etc and hated being treated as a child. However, I WAS still a child and looking back, travelling as a UM was the only sensible option. As previous posters have mentioned, anything could happen - she could be pick-pocketed, lose bags and not know where to go, not hear a gate-change announcement, be left waiting alone for hours if the flight was delayed - the only sensible option is for her to travel as a UM so someone is looking out for her. Although it's annoying when you're 12 and wanting to be grown-up and independent, I think deep down I always accepted I was really too young to be allowed to travel completely alone.

NUFC69 · 15/08/2011 12:31

Oddly enough yesterday we were talking about CDG (we are flying to America via Paris next month) and my husband and our visitor both said that they had been there when there were wildcat strikes and had had a bad time. In view of this I would say pay the extra for the supervision - I am afraid strikes can happen at very short notice in France.

passingtime · 15/08/2011 12:37

some airlines will provide a chaperone - have you looked in to that option?

LolaRennt · 15/08/2011 12:39

cdg is abig airport and often has work going on, spend the 40

stealthsquiggle · 15/08/2011 12:43

Flybe UM service is a bargain at £39 - they give them snack and drink vouchers as well (which accounts for about £6 of the £39!) - DS and DNeice had a great time (but they are 8) - I agree she may find it annoying, but I would overrule her (and DH), personally.

Original poster
TriggersBroom · 15/08/2011 13:13

Very useful responses. Thanks everyone.

Yes, I think the issue is that it's all fine if it goes OK, but you're right, what if something goes wrong.

Also what if she gets sat next to some perve on the flight?
Yes, she's mature, but at the end of the day, she is still 12. UM it is, I think.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 15/08/2011 13:23

I got this so wrong . . . I had visions of your DD having got her pilot's licence early and flying solo!

Send her UM, she'll be spoilt rotten.

Thumbwitch · 15/08/2011 13:27

Hardly worth me adding that I would send her UM as well then! Just In Case. :)

wicketkeeper · 15/08/2011 14:07

My son flew regularly (every 6 weeks or so) as an unaccompanied minor from the age of 8. You can do this until you are 16 if you wish. But from 12 you can just fly as a normal person. When my son turned 12 he asked if he had to be accompanied, and could he go solo next time. After some discussion with his Dad (he was flying between the two of us) we decided to let him do it on the outward journey and see how it went, and if he found it too much to cope with, we could go back to UM for the return leg. He never looked back.

From a purely practical point of view, I would get your DD a bum bag or similar that she can keep all her important documents in, and which she knows to NEVER TAKE OFF while she's travelling. I would also stay at the airport until the flight has actually taken off, in case it 'goes technical'. Also agree with her what she is to do if there is no-one to pick her up from arrivals at the other end - this happened to my son twice, once when the arrivals board said his flight was delayed but in fact it wasn't (so when he arrived I was in the coffee shop) and once when his Dad was stuck in traffic.

It's hard to let them go, but she'll come back as a very mature and self-confident young woman.

SpamMarie · 15/08/2011 14:13

I first flew unaccomanied aged 10 from London to France, but I was completely bilingual by then, so had no issue asking for directions in French. My father checked me in and I did security alone. It was made clear to me that if I had any kind of problem, to ask a member of staff (not joe public). I ended up asking for help because there was no-one to collect me at arrivals (my relatives went to the wrong gate!) but I don't remember being at all panicked. I just went up to a member of security and said, could you make an announcement for my family please? And in this day and age, you'd have mobile phones too!

This was before 9/11 though, so security was a lot easier and faster. Also, I had no hold luggage, so no need to collect my baggage. In this day and age, I would probably not have flown unaccompanied until aged 13 or 14, purely because of the extra security checks that we must now do, and the fact that I would have to have hold luggage since you can no longer take so many things in the cabin.

OhdearNigel · 15/08/2011 14:18

I flew for the first time at about this age, on my own, to France to meet my best friend who was half french and was out there at their holiday home. It was fine, the cabin crew really looked after me and made sure my friend's parents picked me up safely. I felt like a proper grown up - and my Mum could never be accused of being careless with my safety !

OhdearNigel · 15/08/2011 14:21

Second point, does she need to have checked baggage ? I think I just took a small holdall with me as handluggage - this would get rid of one area where she might get lost or confused. All she would have to do then is go through passport control and straight out

stealthsquiggle · 15/08/2011 14:50

wicketkeeper I think after 4 years of flying as an UM your DS probably knew the routines better than the staff and was entirely justified in wanting to go it alone.

I do agree that it is for the things that go wrong that you pay £39 to Flybe - when I dropped DS and DNiece off they had no sooner gone through than they announced a delay in the flight. I sat and drank over-priced coffee for 3 hours in order not to leave until they had taken off - I would have been having kittens about them if they had not been officially looked after..

zukiecat · 15/08/2011 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TriggersBroom · 15/08/2011 15:55

Just spoken to DH.

I'm too freaked out by all the "what ifs", so we've agreed she's going UM this time.

OP posts:
Original poster
TriggersBroom · 15/08/2011 15:55

Thanks everyone for the input.

OP posts:
Maryz · 15/08/2011 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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