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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my DSis had every right to not be overjoyed?

23 replies

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 21:55

Spoke to my mum today, they've just had multiple computers in their house fixed (mum has a laptop, stepfather a desktop) by a local computer repair man.

Now, my sister still lives with my mum (moved out recently but had the landlord from hell and had to go back home which has caused...tension), and has a laptop which had stopped working, and which a friend of hers at college had told her couldn't be fixed. She was looking to have to spend a fair bit if she wanted a new one or a netbook, but she does have a desktop machine, and I think possibly another older machine too. (I have no idea why there are so many computers kicking around that house, it's crazy!)

So. To the point. My mum decided to ask the computer repair man if my sister's laptop could be fixed. He said yes, and quoted £150. Mum dutifully agreed, and decided to surprise my sister... by announcing to DSis when she got home from work that her laptop was fixed and she owed my mum £150, Tadaaa!

DSis was apparently not as pleased as punch by this news, as, according to my mum, she doesn't have much money at the moment. (My mum reasoned that my sister was saving money since she's paying my mum less than the landlord, but my sister has since decided to make a trip up to see the half of my family that lives here - about 300 miles away. Obviously that will cost a bit in petrol.)

So, my mum being generous as ever, apparently offered to make it an early christmas present, and then my sister "could pay the rest when she has the money". I couldn't quite believe it when my mum said it - she sprang a £150 bill on my sister with no opt out, then offered to redce the amount my sister has to pay her if she has no Christmas present from her this year! Am I the only one that thinks my poor DSis is justified in being...peeved?

OP posts:

emmam25 · 13/08/2011 21:58

I do think it is a bit much to demand £150 out of the blue.

Could you suggest to your Mum that she spread the cost over a few months or does she need it ASAP?

thisisyesterday · 13/08/2011 22:05

aww, i think your mum was just trying to help by getting something fixed and saving her from having to buy a new one.

if i was your sister i would just offer to pay it off in installments. wouldn't want it as a christmas present!

RandomMess · 13/08/2011 22:06

Have you pointed out to your mum that it's not worth paying £150 to repair a laptop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suggest to your mum that she keeps it as a spare for herself?

Original poster

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 22:07

My mum has offered to spread the cost, but it was just the way she was saying it. She seemed really cross with my sister for not being delighted by it all.

Given that my sister has a working computer, I don't think getting this one fixed was really a priority for her. And my mum knows that my sister is coming up in September and will be spending money - my sister only works part time, as she's still at college!

OP posts:

Original poster

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 22:09

RandomMess - it's not worth pointing that out (although I did think as she said it: "HOW much?"). My mum is the sort of person who would then get the huff with me as well for siding with my sister. She can't handle criticism.

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 13/08/2011 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BaronessBomburst · 13/08/2011 22:51

I would be tempted to just hand it over and say 'congratulations, mum, 150 quid just bought you a new laptop'.

Original poster

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 22:59

Baroness - Oh, my mum's already thought of that. She has said, "or if she doesn't want it then we can have it as a spare,"

...But then, this is the woman who sent my dad an itemised bill for all the equipment she got us for school, charging for half of everything including packs of pencils and erasers.

OP posts:

festi · 13/08/2011 23:05

I dont see the problem then if she has said they can use it as a spare as to the point of your post. DM spent 150 to get dsis computer fixed, if dsis didnt want it she would use it as a spare, where is the problem?

QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2011 23:09

Well, she should then PAY your sister for her old laptop, actually! Because 150 for a "new" laptop is a bargain!

Original poster

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 23:09

festi - It wasn't so much a problem that it had been fixed, it was that my mum had the hump that my sister wasn't elated about the whole thing. She honestly couldn't see why my sister might be annoyed to come home and be presented with either a bill for £150 or the loss of her laptop.

And I was just surprised that my mum's compromise would be to offer the repair as a Christmas present, and then still charge my sister a portion of the cost!

OP posts:

Sariah · 13/08/2011 23:11

That sounds better. She should let your mother keep it as a spare and then just borrow it off her

Sandalwood · 13/08/2011 23:12

Had your sister not been complaining to your mum that her laptop's broken or that she'd like it fixed?
I can see that you mum thought that as the laptop is still around her house it is still wanted.
But if your mum's happy to have it - then all's well then.

Original poster

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 23:17

Sandalwood - I don't know the full circumstances regarding how much my sister did/didn't want it fixed, as I haven't spoken to my sister in a few days. But, knowing my mum, she will resent it if DSis doesn't pay up. She'll pretend to be okay with it as she sprang it on my sister, but it will be there, on the list of grievances for all time. And she will moan about it to me constantly.

OP posts:

Sandalwood · 13/08/2011 23:25

Just thinking that she might now learn not to say about how much she'll need to spend on a replacement for something to her mum. (if she isn't actually going to spend it).

MysteriousHamster · 13/08/2011 23:39

I'd be annoyed, £150 is a lot to spend on a computer repair when they get out of date quite quickly. You can get a new netbook for not much more than that, or even a decent laptop for £300.

ChippingIn · 13/08/2011 23:46

Yes - that's not a 'surprise' - a 'surprise' would be - here look, we got your laptop fixed for you - hope you get a lot of pleasure/use out of it' - no mention of money at all. If your Mum can afford to keep it as a 'spare' she can afford to pay for it for your sister - you can't go around spending other peoples money for them!

CurrySpice · 13/08/2011 23:59

Why didn't she ring or text her to ask if she wanted it done

And if he's done anything less than a new hard drive and battery, she's been diddled

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 14/08/2011 00:06

Bloody hell I'd be furious.

I suspect a lot of people on here would think that my parents are over-involved in my life, but even they wouldn't make such a massive presumption.

Original poster

TottWriter · 14/08/2011 00:08

CurrySpice - I think part of the problem was with the hard drive, and recovering files on it. I obviously don't know the whole story (my sister hadn't even mentioned to me that her laptop was broken!), but according to my mum, a friend of my sister's at college said it couldn't be fixed, and this computer guy said it could, and because he'd fixed my mum's laptop and their desktop and such, she decided to surprise my sister with a fixed laptop.

She also mentioned to me that she thought a working laptop was more important than going on holiday (even to see moi! !) but that's a whole other kettle of fish. (coughcoughcontrolissuescough)

OP posts:

CurrySpice · 14/08/2011 00:11

So why didn't she just phone your sister and ask if it was ok to spend £150?! I'm confused

And just to say, a friend of mine has just recovered my friend's laptop from dead, installed a new hard drive, and returned it to her all working and wonderful for £50 so...

Just saying like

Original poster

TottWriter · 14/08/2011 00:19

Curry, I know. I had a little mental groan when my mum said about it. I think my mum just doesn't think. She once "surprised" me by turning up outside our house with no warning (as I said, she lives 300 miles away..) and stayed with my nan for a few days. It would have been great, but for the fact DP hates her...

Anyway, sidetrack. I strongly suspect she's been diddled by this guy (she knows naff all about computers), which will be why my sister is so peeved. And actually, now that I think about it, my cousin is a dab hand with computers, so it could be that my sister wanted him to take a look at it. [headdesk] Why has my sister not learned to keep her mouth shut by now! And why can't my mum stop meddling! Arrg!

OP posts:

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 14/08/2011 00:22

YANBU! And £150 to fix it is a ripoff. I just bought a perfect reconditioned netbook from ebay for £125 and you can get a very decent reconditioned laptop for £150-200.

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