to want to tick the 'children on the "at-risk" register' box?

[chicaguapa]

Posting on this board with some trepidation...

I have just got my application form through for volunteering with Home Start. One of the questions is where you are asked to tick what kind of situations you would not be willing to work with eg bereavement, domestic abuse, HIV/AIDS. One of the options is Children on the 'At-Risk' Register.

I really don't think I'd be able to work with a family where the LOs are "at risk" but feel IABU to even consider excluding them. On the one hand I don't think I'd be able to cope if, even with my support and help, something happened to the LOs but on the other hand I wonder that if I choose to exclude them, I'm making things worse for the LO.

Am I thinking about this too much? I'm beginning to feel that if I'm going to be choosy about what kind of family I'm placed with, I'm not really suitable for volunteering.

YANBU for doing what you feel you can cope with.

However. YABUin some ways - not all dc that are on the 'at risk' register are on there because of abuse or neglect. MY DD was on the at risk register from the moment she was born until she was about 2.5yo. Why? Because I was on the at risk register myself and I was under 18yo when DD was born. And if you have a child while you are still on the at risk register, even if you are (as is often the case by that point) out of the situation that PUT you on there in the first place, your dc automatically goes on there until you yourself are over 18yo AND you have proven you are not doing things to put your dc at risk AND they have organised a case conference to close yours AND your dc's files.

If that makes any sense!

And I have to say, when I was a single mum of 16yo, struggling with knowing how to run a home (as I'd never been taught due to a chaotic childhood), bf'ing my baby, going shopping etc, it was a LOVELY lady from Homestart that guided me down the right path. She even taught me how to separate my darks and lights. . I will never forget the words of wisdom, the extra pair of hands, and the life lessons that wonderful woman taught me.

So on my part, if that lady had 'ticked the box', and not been sent to help me, I might not be the mum I am now. And I really do credit her with that much.

That's really good Loudlass that someone from Homestart was able to have such a positive effect on your life. I hope I can make that kind of difference too.

I suppose I can talk to the people at Homestart about my concerns etc, but would now agree that the more 'severe' situations would be dealt with by the more experienced volunteers anyway. Hopefully one day I'll feel able to deal with myself. But then that would mean those awful situations would still be occurring.

Thanks to everyone for their support.

loudlass what a brilliant post. I hope Things are going well for you and your DD now.

OP good on you for volunteering. I'm sure as your confidence grows you'll be able for any situation. So great to hear from Loudlass what a difference a volunteer made

Imperalblether just need to point out that homestart and social services do work together quite often in supporting a family. There have been several families at my local homestart who have had social services involved both before coming to homestart and after including myself!

They need volunteers, so you are helping even if you don't go out of your comfort zone! There will be people who probably prefer to work in those more difficult situations and the are the people who should be there (and please don't take that as a slight as it really isn't meant that way).