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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my DD (9) shouldn't have a boyfriend!!!

23 replies

Mumofjz · 13/08/2011 09:50

She has numerous friends where we live but there is a lovely 9yr old boy who she plays with mostly, they knock on for each other! However, they were holding hands the other day and when questioned she said (rather embarassingly) that he was her boyfriend and her younger brother also said they were kissing (on cheek and lips) :o

Any advise on how to deal with this would be appreciated - on one hand i think it's quite sweet and on the other i can see she'll be pregnant by the age of 10 (if that's at all possible lol)

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 13/08/2011 09:58

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Coca · 13/08/2011 10:00

Don't worry about it, my DD (9) also has a boyfriend. Its vey cute but the aren't kissing (that's gross apparently) I remmeber being on the "dating scene" at 5! Shock Grin

squeakytoy · 13/08/2011 10:03

Her younger brother is probably teasing. At 9, I imagine she is very much still under parental supervision most of the time, so I wouldnt be too worried.

hoolabombshell · 13/08/2011 10:05

Think she was joking about the "pregnant by 10" thing, Stranded.

Am sure it is entirely innocent, hand-holding and cheek/lip pecking - I'm sure that will be about it.

Mumofjz · 13/08/2011 10:08

Strandedbear - oh course i have a high opinion of her, it was a turn of phrase and no, i genuinely don't think that - what i was trying to get across is that yes, while i see it as sweet and innocent, she is obviously starting to grow up and would appreciate some advise on how to deal with this stage, the explaining of relationships etc and should it be something we should be tackling now or later and should i just let this run it's course. She's had "boyfriends" before but never kissed (as far as i know) and wondered what to do (if anything)

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 13/08/2011 10:09

Don't do anything. It's just silly fun.

EauRouge · 13/08/2011 10:21

I had a boyfriend when I was 9. I never kissed him though; having a boyfriend then seemed to involve not speaking to them, ever, unless it was to tell them that they were chucked.

It doesn't sound like anything to worry about.

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 13/08/2011 14:12

I had a boyfriend at 9. It was actually quite a long term relationship - about 8 months. But, like Eau said, most of that time was spent not talking to each other, and when he dumped me he got a girl in his class to do it. We danced to slow songs at school discos, and after each one he kissed me on the cheek, which to my 9 yr old self was the height of romance! I think he kissed me on the lips once, when his friend dared him to do it, and it was a tiny chaste peck.

Adversecamber · 13/08/2011 14:21

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robotlollypopman · 13/08/2011 14:30

Doesn't everybody have a bf/gf in primary school? It's more in name than anything else.

WheelsOnTheBike · 13/08/2011 15:24

I never did. Nor one in secondary.

I was Billy no mates boyfriends.

LadyThumb · 13/08/2011 16:19

I had a boyfriend at nine. He was our headmaster's son. Innocent and memorable.

LynetteScavo · 13/08/2011 16:21

Even DS1 had a girlfriend at junior school. Or several. He was engaged to one of them. She gave him a ring and everything.

Definitely NO kissing though! He would rather eat worms.

Bulmers · 13/08/2011 17:09

I have no issue with the gf/bf thing but I did squirm when my friend's then-1o-year-old DD put her FB (whole nother issue) info as "In a relationship with xxxxx"

worraliberty · 13/08/2011 17:13

It's not unusual for kids that age to say they have a BF/GF but I don't know of any who really kiss. Most of them still think it's disgusting at that age Lol.

Now might be the time to gently explain boundaries/relationships if you feel you can bring the subject up in an innocent roundabout sort of way.

zukiecat · 13/08/2011 19:24

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Mumofjz · 14/08/2011 11:29

Thanks everyone, i mentioned to DD that kissing shouldn't really be happening yet and their friends might be uncomfortablee with it too which she seemed to appreciate and on the safe side i'm going to make her brother chaprone her EVERYWHERE lol :o

OP posts:
worraliberty · 14/08/2011 11:30

Tell her she'll get cooties Grin

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 14/08/2011 11:37

I do not think it's cute.

Why can't children of the opposite sex be friends without adult labels being given to the relationship?
My daughter will not have a bloody 'boyfriend' until she is old enough to actually have one- ie go out on dates, kiss etc.

She is in year 5 and a lot of the girls are consumed by the whole boyfriend business, falling out with other girls over boys, kissing in corners. It's ridiculous. They are children.

Tell her she's too young for a bloody boyfriend and to enjoy the friendship in an appropriate childish manner.

FGS

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 14/08/2011 11:46

And also ime, whether you have a bf or not is often part of a whole popularity contest between the girls in Y5/6. Not healthy to measure your worth on whether or not you can attract a boy Hmm

zukiecat · 14/08/2011 13:50

This reply has been deleted

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nokissymum · 14/08/2011 13:56

Sign up to morecrackthanharlem

pickgo · 14/08/2011 17:24

With you all the way Morecrackthanharlem

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