...to feel suffocated by too-kind attentions of 'helicopter' DP?

[lastupenda]

I'm divorced (3 years ago) and was lucky enough to find a great new DP who seemed a dream come true...fell madly in love...only to find him getting possessive, minding if I don't pick up the phone, wanting to know what I'm doing all the time. Then he started making friends of all my FB friends, discussing me with my mates, and inviting my old mates over to see me when I go to his. Feel like I can't see my friends alone any more. I live North, he lives South...I went to London for a night without telling him and he was furious even though I wasn't specifically hiding it. But he wants to get married! Has his own kids, I have mine and don't want a 'blended' family.
I just want someone to go out on nice dates with: full stop. Had enough control in my life from the XH. Have I turned nasty in my singlehood?

I'm with jock

Your thread is actually scaring me on your behalf. Please leave. I feel sick now.

Good luck to you. Sincerely.

Another one here telling you to get the hell out. Unanimous then.

You second post has even more red flags than the first - you are trying to leave and he's talking to your kidsabout it and convincing you you're deranged?

Print out this thread and put it by the phone / on your desktop / anywhere else to read when you are wavering.

And this doesn't mean you will never date or be happy again. Spend some time learning to love yourself and what you want, poss with some counselling. Enjoy your own time with friends and family for now. Once you have done this you will be in an excellent position to find aloving partner.

If he doesn't trust you, he doesn't respect you.

You cannot have a relationship without respect.

You have your on solution

Tell him it is over

then NC

no more cosy chats with your kids

immediately dump any flowersgifts/texts/emails

do not reply to any communication

if he turns up at the house don't let him over the threshold, close the door in his face

if he starts shouting/frightening you, then call the police

own solution

Just to say thanks to all of you who commented above: yes, you were unanimous, and yes, you gave me the courage to end it. Which I have. Kept thinking about these red flags. And, mouthwash7, your phrase kept repeating itself in my head - that 'this guy needs someone to look after him, but why should it be me?'!
He tried all the tricks: rational, strong and overbearing, persuasive, wheedling, tears. I suspect I haven't heard the last of it...it wasn't easy, but I feel pretty strong right now. I have a weekend alone stretching ahead of me, and have just poured a BIG glass of wine. Cheers.

cheers! You have done the right thing.

spend some time alone you really get to know what you want and it gives you the confidence to not put up with something you are not happy with

he is trying to control, might be in a seemingly nice caring way but it is still control

Whatever he might say, he's not in love with you - he's in love with himself and all his various guises are merely ruses to dupe others into thinking he's something he's not while he congratulates himself on being able to pull the wool over the eyes of others.

If he continues to pressure you to reconsider, tell him bluntly to fuck off out of your life and that the next time he makes contact with you, or your dc, you'll be reporting him to the police for harassment.

Luxuriate in the prospect of a weekend alone - take yourself out to do something different from your usual routine and enjoy your