To be annoyed at them not accepting responsibility for this?

[MojitoTime]

On holiday with DH, DSD, DS, DH's sister, BIL and nephew.
SIL and BIL had 10yo DSD for the afternoon as they were going swimming and she wanted to go too. DH was doing some watersports thing and I was pottering about with DS.
We were supposed to be meeting at about 6.15 for dinner and I was in the villa waiting for DH to get back when I get a phone call from a lady who works for the holiday park saying that they have DSD as she was lost, so they are keeing her in a session at the kids club but I must go and collect her "as soon as possible" (said in stern voice). So I got ds in the buggy and ran all the way to the kids club to get her (quite far, was sweating when j got there), kids club were annoyed, had to apologise profusely, DSD was very upset, so I gave her a massive cuddle and we went for a drink.
At this point neither SIL or BIL has let me know that she was even missing! According to DSD they were all on their bikes and she was behind with her cousin (he's 14). She stopped to look at her foot cos it was hurting and nephew didn't realise and cycled off. She couldn't see where he went so she got a bit upset and some employees took her back to the main area.
Anyway managed to let DH know by this point he knows what has happened and we arrange to meet at a restaurant. When they turn up (BIL, SIL, DH and nephew), none of them seemed at all bothered (apart from DH obviously) and they just sat down and said "oh well at least you've been found".
They seem to think it was DSD's fault. I feel it was their responsibility to be looking after her, and I also feel that they owe DSD and DH and me an apology.
Am I overreacting?

Sorry that came out wrong. I meant those who are saying its nothing major and its your DSD who should have been more capable would be the first to judge had something happened to her. She is only little and must have been frightened. I would be furious.

I think the point is the BIL and SIL turned up at the arranged dinner point all unconcerned. What if the DSD wasn't there? i.e. what if she hadn't spoken to a member of staff and the DM hadn't been called. The BIL and SIL didn't know the OP had the girl (if I'm reading it correctly) and strolled up to the dinner table saying 'oh there you are.'

Some posters do have a point about the maturity or otherwise of the DSD but if I was to be approaching a pre-arranged meeting point without the correct number of children I would probably say a bit more than 'oh there you are'.

God, my (NT) daughter wouldn't have coped fine with getting directions. She's the brightest and most competent of the three in many ways but could get lost in a paper bag. Kids vary hugely at 9 or 10, and yes, it's absolutely the case that you wait for the slowest or youngest (or at least worry when they don't turn up in minutes!).

Still, DD would undoubtedly and embarrassingly also give the cousin and uncle a good bollocking herself rather than waiting for us to do it.

I think we have things we need to work on before secondary.

I think this is awful too. If you have a child in your care then it is your responsibility to actually look after them. It is not relevant whether the 10 year old was okay on her own, she should never have been put in that position.

Rosemary, my DS is coming up for 10, no SN, but would have been a bit frightened and upset at being lost in a strange place. It's easy to panic when you are a child and you suddenly find yourself unexpectedly alone.

I'd have to raise this have a massive argument with SIL and BIL and I would never trust them with my dc again.

I agree - I've always had a rubbish sense of direction and at that age (even if there were signs and maps all around) I'd have gotten pretty confused about where to go. Especially if it was a huge place with lots of tracks etc.

The staff sound a bit snotty too. I hope they weren't like that with your DSD!

I think everyone other than the OP was a bit U tbh - dsd needs to become less of a wuss use her initiative, the ILs needed to be less blase and more attentive to dsd and the kids club staff were unnecessarily catsbum mouthy and stroppy.

I'm not sure it does depend on the child's capability, as it turns out she was lost not hurt but they didn't know that at the time. This happened to some friends, luckily they went back to look for their daughter and found her unconscious in the road. She never did get that bit of memory back and no-one knows what happened but it would be easy to hit a rock or skid on mud.

And as for finding your way when lost in Center Parcs I think it would be quite hard as it all looks the same. Same villas, same trees, no landmarks.

YABU for going to Centreparcs though. They sound grim.

Centerparcs sites are massive and can be disorientating. Most of the time the signs have little symbols on them to indicate the general direction rather than having written Village Centre/Sports Plaza/Lake type signs. So I can understand a 10 year who is suddenly left behind being a bit upset.

I can't believe SIL and BIL turned up at the meeting point without your DSD, and without knowing she had turned up safely (is that right - they didn't actually know she was OK and with you?) and acted so breezy about it. I would have gone ballistic in your shoes.

complexnumber - that's a very good point. That must have been pretty scary for your friends finding their child unconscious like that

YANBU - Looking after someone's child includes not losing them and apologising if you do!

So, did they realise she'd gone missing? "Oh well at least you've been found" implies that they did know but weren't unduly bothered, or was that their response after you'd told them what had happened? In which case, they didn't know and if she hadn't ended up at the kids club for you to collect, could well have been roaming in the forest still? Either way it's not good.
I don't think I'd have "hit the f*ing roof" as one poster said, but I'd have let them know I wasn't impressed.

not unreasonable at all, yes a ten year old should know to ask a member of staff to help her find her parents but if you are looking after SOMEONE elses child then you do exactly that, i cant believe they didnt phone or txt you to check if you knew where she was etc!

similar to this the other year my ds2 and ds3 then 6 and 4 stayed with dp's relatives on a campsite and they let the pair of them go off on their own! no adult supervision at all and managed to loose ds3 who was 4 for almost an hour! he was found in some shower blocks!! they didnt even tell us and bribed the boys with sweets not to! it eventually came out some months later when they had had a drink and they laughed at how funny it was.......... NOT

this summer we visited them at the campsite but wouldnt let the boys stay! they took their dog for a walk and took the boys 9, 6 and 3 with them, when they came back, they didnt have the boys with them!! they had let them go off to a park on their own!! and then got all arsey when i said that wasnt ok and that they needed supervision!

i would let my 9yr old go to a park close by on his own, but a 6 and 3 yr old?!!! hello!!

sorry my own rant there, but for gods sake when i look after someone elses kids i am even more cautious than i am with my own!

So it´s all the girl´s fault now?

I should imagine it was a case of being upset that no one noticed she was missing & perhaps just biking along with the others without taking much notice of where she was going.

What she did "wrong" was to not shout at the others to stop for a minute.

Thanks for all the replies. TBH I think there were faults on both sides as DSD does have a tendency to be a scatterbrain so she probably should have shouted out to them to wait. Anyway, I haven't brought it up again as it's not a massive issue - was just wondering what the consensus was .