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Original poster

Anniversary

16 replies

NewbeeMummy · 11/08/2011 11:52

It's our anniversary at the end of this month, every year DP forgets it, and last year said I had to remind him, so this year I have and stupidly hoped we'd actually do something nice like go out just the two of us.

The IL's are staying the week before and leaving on Saturday, so I mentioned last night we may want to do something on the Sunday night, as it's bank holiday Monday. I was asked why would we want to go out? [gives up emoticon]

Should I push the issue, should I expect the normal where I make an effort to do something nice and get nothing in return, or should I just go down and see my mum who is not well at the moment.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 11/08/2011 11:54

Go and see your mum.

Although I don't get the whole going out thing, I prefer to stay in, have a nice meal and not have to think about babysitters, getting home etc.

I am a bit of a curmudgeon though.

However, DH doesn't need reminding about our anniversary and I don't think it is your responsibility to remind your DH.

worldgonecrazy · 11/08/2011 11:56

This post made me smile as this year I had a Facebook status asking whether there were any of my friends who also had to book their own anniversary meals/weekends away. It turned out most of us did, and that meant we got to choose somewhere nice. So book a restaurant that you really like and present it as a fait accompli.

DoMeDon · 11/08/2011 11:58

Well - why do you want to go out? Maybe he thought flowers/card/present not night out. I would want to go out and celebrate because that's part of who I am. Are you compatible that way?

All sounds a bit thoughtless and miserable for me.

AMumInScotland · 11/08/2011 12:03

Well, it's not your responsibility to remind your DH. But OTOH what makes it his responsibility to book a meal or a trip away - isn't it the man's anniversary too?

PrincessScrumpy · 11/08/2011 12:03

I have to hold my hands up and say I'm rubbish about our anniversary. DH bought me a gift (although we had said we couldn't afford it with twins due the same week). He got me an Alpaca wool poncho as it's our 7th anniversary which is "wool", but needed to check it fitted and I liked it as it had a 6 day returns. I love it and will be fab for bfing twins and hiding flabby post pg tummy.

I will be booking a meal for us I guess - but might do it for next week so I'm not in labour at the table! Anniversary is 28th and dtds booked for cs on 2nd Sept.

If I was confident dh loves me then I'm not too fussed about one date - mind you, I'm too tired to care about most things right now!

Original poster
NewbeeMummy · 11/08/2011 12:19

TBH I would be happy if he just said, lets get some nice food in (I'm happy to cook it) a bottle of wine and maybe a DVD.

I don't need to go out - but would like to do something to celebrate. We'll have been together 10 years this year, and it would have been nice for him to just to take an interest for once.

I am just being a whinge bag aren't I? I should be happy that we love each other and have a beautiful happy DD together.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewbeeMummy · 11/08/2011 12:22

BTW Princess, hope the cs goes well and best of luck with the twins

OP posts:
StopRainingPlease · 11/08/2011 12:34

Agree with AMumInScotland - this can be your gift to him, you can treat him rather than him treating you.

Sharney · 11/08/2011 12:49

I don't get why some women refuse to remind their partners about birthdays and anniversaries. My Dh gets 4, 3 & 2 week notices. He also gets a wish list of things I'd like. There is no way I trust him to remember on his own and there is no way I'll let him forget it! Don't risk it. REMIND HIM!!!

skybluepearl · 11/08/2011 12:56

book the meal yourself - also go see your mum once inlaws have gone

Original poster
NewbeeMummy · 11/08/2011 13:41

@ MuminScotland and StopRainingPlease - I'm always the one who organises something, last year I didn't because I was annoyed at always being the one who had to remember and do something about it.

So I'm not saying it's only up to him to do it, but I guess I got my hopes up when he asked me to remind him this year.

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 11/08/2011 14:09

Oh if you always end up having to sort it, that's different. I'd say to him "Look, it's our anniversary and I want us to go out together. Make it so!"

cat64 · 11/08/2011 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

redexpat · 11/08/2011 15:59

Put a reminder in his phone, in his computer diary if he uses it. Set for repeat every year.

Pandemoniaa · 11/08/2011 16:31

I have come to the conclusion that unless there is an exceptionally good (and probably medical!) reason, for a partner to need constant reminders about anniversaries and birthdays, then they can do their own sodding remembering.

If they can't be arsed to keep a record of these important events then clearly, they can't really be arsed to celebrate them and I don't want any evenings out or presents that have had to be nagged out of a partner.

justagirlfromedgware · 11/08/2011 20:13

Oh, don't worry so much - it's just another day! It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just that he doesn't invest as much meaning into one day being more important than another. In our case we regularly, both, forget. One year we only remembered when my mother rang to wish us a happy anniversary. Personally, I think that every day is a day to celebrate (sorry if that sounds pollyannaish, some days are best forgotten of course). This year we remembered (in fact, it's today Grin), but decided we'd rather go out at the weekend so we'll still be awake by the end of the meal.

I agree with the posters who say you should simply book a meal out if that's what you'd like to do and so long as that's what he'd like to do.

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