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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU regarding money I am owed?

41 replies

passingtime · 11/08/2011 09:54

I lent a friend in desperation £50 a couple of weeks ago. She had finally got back in to work and needed to be able to pay for the train each day.

She borrowed it saying 'I get my final jsa payment on monday - pay you back then'

2 weeks later she is swerving the phone. I text yesterday to say I have hardly any Gas/Electricity and I need the money back (she was ignoring when I called)

She has blanked me.

DP sent her a text to say did you get passingtimes message? we have no gas/elec?? and she replied to him straight away saying 'not got it sorry had to spend it'

I am now furious for 2 reasons a) blanking me and replying to my dp and b) swerving me in the first place when I was good enough to help her out

I know its only £50 but we aren't exactly flush ourselves right now!

OP posts:
lilmissminx · 12/08/2011 14:47

tel her you lent what you had to someone whom you thought was a trustworthy friend and that you budgeted for having the money returned at the promised time??

MerylStrop · 12/08/2011 15:20

If she is getting paid monthly she will probably be paid a month in arrears (which she will have known) and therefore still have a cashflow issue.

I would have said give her one more chance to pay you on payday - but then her text is beyond the pale IMO.

You just have to nag her until she returns it.....would threatening to turn up at her work help?

aquashiv · 12/08/2011 15:30

Tell her you will be round at XX time to pick up the money. Go get it and stick to your guns.
I have been burnt by people like this too but honestly the more time you give her the liklihood is she will think she has got away with it.

ChaoticAngeltheInnocentOne · 12/08/2011 15:31

I like the idea of turning up a her work and telling everybody you know.

ZillionChocolate · 12/08/2011 15:35

passingtime I'd be inclined to explain that you've spent money on essentials and loaning it to her. Cheeky cow!

Original poster
passingtime · 12/08/2011 15:57

I can't turn up at her work, she is now based in the midlands and I am ooop north.
I can tell everybody I know, but it seems so petty. I think I will just take this as a very hard lesson learned and cut ties with her once she has repaid me.

She has just sent one more text saying 'you need to pipe the fuck down luv'

I am so shocked that is her behaviour when I was doing her a favour

OP posts:
MerylStrop · 12/08/2011 16:05

She texted what??

Is this person really usually a friend who you, you know, actually like?

There is no way I would let her get away with it. If turning up at her work is a no go I would draft a fake solicitor's letter and make her squirm.

Although waiting on her doorstep also a good idea. Although it sounds like she is in a different city.

BeauFauxQuo · 12/08/2011 16:08

That takes some nerve!!! How rude!!!! I honestly cannot believe the cheek!

(I agree with what lilmissminx said but poss too late going on that last text)

If you want to see the money again, I suggest ignoring her (outrageously rude) texts and asking her politely what she can afford and when.

Maybe she is being so rude in the hope that will you cut her off now, before she has paid you.

She sounds hideous btw

freybean · 12/08/2011 16:09

what?! i'll text her back and say 'pay the fuck up, luv'

Original poster
passingtime · 12/08/2011 16:11

meryl she has never behaved this way with me before. I have only known her for about a year though, and my dp thinks its a little suss that she didn't have any other friends

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 12/08/2011 16:12

With friends there is one very good rule:

Neither a borrower or a lender be . . .

Nancy66 · 12/08/2011 16:24

Unfortunately it seems to be the case that the sort of person that borrows money is also the sort of person that doesn't care about paying it back.

Debs75 · 12/08/2011 16:38

That is harsh OP. Keep asking politely everyday if you have to and give her different options to pay if you know you won't see her now she has moved.
If I was to get a txt like that though I would be telling her to pay my fucking money now

Claw3 · 12/08/2011 16:55

Shock she is now texting you asking what you did with your wages and telling you to pipe down!

Yep a text telling her to stick the £50 quid up her bum and never to contact you again wouldnt be out of order.

MagicFingerGoesPop · 12/08/2011 17:12

Ys but if you let the £50 go, then she has won! There are legal rules about how often you can hassle ask people to pay money they owe. Look these up and enforce them up to the limit. She will then pay you just to shut you up! Grin A nice polite text once or twice a day, with no other communication? Would get annoying!

QuintessentialShadow · 12/08/2011 17:42

I would definitely confide in a few common friends about what she has done, how badly she has hurt and upset you, and how rude she has been....

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