to not lend it to her

[audreyroberts]

I was recently a bridemaid at a friends wedding and she had lovley dress made , v expensive and ideal to wear for many occasons. I think just my dress cost about £700. Anyway sil has called and said 'you dont by any chance have a dress i could lend for suchabodies party. She KNEW full well i have this designer dress.I really do not want to lend it to her so i i said' i dont think i have anything' and she said 'oh i have just rememeber you have claire's bridesmaid dress, could i try that'. She is not going to let it go without me seeming mean. BTw she is loaded and could easily aford a new dress. I have much less money and want to keep this dress nice to wear for my own occasions- i am not sure sil would look after it.

What's with all the people telling the OP to lie? It's not at the cleaners, it's not in for repairs, it's not back with the bride.
Just tell her the truth. You would rather not loan it to her because it was very expensive, you love it, and you want to wear it many more times, and you would hate for anything to happen to it.
If she says "oh but I will be so careful, nothing will happen to it" then you simply say, "I am not willing to take any chances".
If you have anything else vaguely suitable that you wouldn't mind her wearing, then by all means offer that so then she knows that the issue is not about her, it's about the dress.

I would just say that you are sorry but you won't.

EdithWeston -

Just say no.

I have only once lendt a dress to a friend, and it came back with a big tear in it. It was a very nice dress. Like a ball gown. Friend said "oh, but that rip was there beforehand". (big fat lie, it could not have been, the entire seam along the bodice was ripped) And that is how the friendship ended.....

Oh yes, because it's to come onto a thread, deliberately be sarcastic at someone elses choice of phrase. Mature and reasonable i'd say.

Tell your SIL she can't have a lend of your dress OP, don't give her a reason.

Are you a bit worried something might spill on it - like that red wine/tomato soup/sick.... that the dry-cleaners are still working on from last time? ;)

It's bloody borrow ffs. You borrow something from someone. You lend something to someone.

I like being mature and reasonable - thank you for your insightful summary of my character. Here - have a

YANBU. Please don't lend it to her! I'm annoyed for you that she asked.

Chumlee (and edithweston) - it is bad form to post on a thread with the sole purpose of making a point about other peoples spelling/grammar. Not all of us speak English as a first language, for example. Picking on somebodys language is worse than typing in less than impeccable English. Make you seem a bit daft.

YANBU
Say this

"Sorry, that dress isn't on loan to anyone ever. It's too special to me and I couldn't bear to let it out of my sight. Any other ideas?"

Be pleasant but firm and all will be well. x

I don't agree QS but you are absolutely entitled to your viewpoint and I can and will do nothing to diminish that.

You are a bit passive aggressive, but thats ok. I dont hold it against you.

YANBU - as others have said, just be polite, honest and firm. There are a gazillion great sales on atm too. Plus if she's a size smaller it won't hang right on her anyway.

Whatever you do don't concoct some BS story to get out of it, she's find out and you'll look like as asshole, guaranteed, she'd tell everyone!

EdithWeston - Who to??? To whom?, surely!

chumlee , I like your form, even if it's bad

OP just say no , I'd rather not.

OP you are not being at all unreasonable. Go with Earlybird's and Bubblesincoffee's responses. Hope you have a really good time when you next wear the dress

OP what was your reply when she said 'oh i have just remembered you have Claire's bridesmaid dress, could i try that'

Are you letting her come round and try it on or did you manage to put her off?